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Passive Aggressive?

PatrickBateman

PatrickBateman

New member
Joined
Oct 5, 2009
Messages
4
Location
North-West UK
Hi all

Firstly, I just want to say I've been reading some of the posts on the forum over the last hour and I now feel like a bit of a fake. I have a small issue, compared to some of the things people on here have to cope with, but I suppose it's all relative.

I've decided that I have a Passive Aggressive Personality Trait. I happened to be reading something the other day that mentioned 'Passive Aggressive' and decided to look it up on Wikipedia to see what it meant. I was fascinated when I first read through that article, as it seems like a cutout from my biography.

For many years now I've displayed PA behaviour. Day-to-day responsibilities that I should be taking care of, I've been letting slide longer and longer and leaving until the last minute. Almost finding excitement in the possible trouble that this causes. When I think back now it's caused me so much trouble, mostly financially and most recently in my relationship with my partner.

I have very little respect for authority. The way I often see it is "they're only human just like myself, why should I do what they say?". As you can imagine, this 'arrogance' has caused me a few issues. Nothing major, just the odd parking ticket maybe!

It's horrible and I don't know why I do it. Genetic? Perhaps. I've also seen references that those whose parents go through divorce whilst the children are teens are likely to develop PA behaviour, which matches my profile.

Strangely, the one area where this behaviour has never come out is in my work. I work hard, to the best of my ability, and am very succesful in what i do. Touch wood.

Has anyone else had any experience of this behaviour? I'm about to lose the best thing that's ever happened to me because of my what I believe to be PA behaviour, so as you can imagine I will do anything to sort myself out.

Thanks for any advice.
 
S

schizzzoid

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
333
Location
Derbyshire
Ayup Patrick, and :welcome: to the forum.

I have to say that self-diagnosis is not really a good thing, as you are biased. It isn't posssible to look entirely objectively at oneself. I'm not saying that you don't have a problem, it's just doubtful that you would 'hit the nail on the head', as there are plenty of other diagnoses that would include it. A passive/aggresive personality trait is just that; a trait, there is more to your personality than just one side. Also, I'd presume that having such a trait would affect all aspects of your life, including work. Of course, I have no idea either way, may be you is 'a bit touched', as my Gran used to say.:D

I spent many years thinking I had a touch of Autism, until I heard about Aspergers... It wasn't until I sought help that, after diagnosing myself AGAIN (this time with a Borderline Personality Disorder), that I was diagnosed with a Schizoid Personality Disorder... It's an incredibly complicated business, with lots of options, so, may I suggest you go to your GP, and, ask to see a psychiatrist.

Here's a thing though: You are aware that you have a problem, you can start to work on it! You ought try and discuss this with your partner, and be open, tell them that you think you may have a Pass/Agressive PT, and that you are trying change, going to see GP, etc...

Right I'm off to get me tea! All the best to ye, and I hope everything works out!

P.S. Having a diagnosis is no excuse to behave like a diagnosis. :eek:Good God! I think I found my sig.!!!! Thank you, Patrick!:clap::clap::clap::clap:
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
hey Patrick

dont feel like a fake for posting things and asking questions, it gives us something to do :p

if i self DX myself then i too could have Passive Aggressive Personality as most things will fit (if i need it to :D ), apart from depression, AD and BP for 18 months (before the doctor took that dx away from me) i really could fit into alot of things (some of which are new and i am having trouble admitting to)

i would like to understand myself and know but i can also recognise that genetics and character traits are a factor in things. its a case of finding out what those could be as mine were built on a foundation of sand and a family with MH issues so need my starting point (been looking, havent found it yet)

go and see your GP but schizzzoid is right being open with the ones you do trust can help alot.

goodluck
 
Wendy

Wendy

Well-known member
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
267
Location
South/East
Hey Patrick,welcome to the forum.
I belive my boyfriend is passive~aggressive,because he can be so nice and polite to others but then is so so angry with me,which is hard because I love him and don't understand where it's coming from,as he is normaly so chilled.
Wendy x
 
PatrickBateman

PatrickBateman

New member
Joined
Oct 5, 2009
Messages
4
Location
North-West UK
Ayup Patrick, and :welcome: to the forum.

I have to say that self-diagnosis is not really a good thing, as you are biased. It isn't posssible to look entirely objectively at oneself. I'm not saying that you don't have a problem, it's just doubtful that you would 'hit the nail on the head', as there are plenty of other diagnoses that would include it. A passive/aggresive personality trait is just that; a trait, there is more to your personality than just one side. Also, I'd presume that having such a trait would affect all aspects of your life, including work. Of course, I have no idea either way, may be you is 'a bit touched', as my Gran used to say.:D

I spent many years thinking I had a touch of Autism, until I heard about Aspergers... It wasn't until I sought help that, after diagnosing myself AGAIN (this time with a Borderline Personality Disorder), that I was diagnosed with a Schizoid Personality Disorder... It's an incredibly complicated business, with lots of options, so, may I suggest you go to your GP, and, ask to see a psychiatrist.

Here's a thing though: You are aware that you have a problem, you can start to work on it! You ought try and discuss this with your partner, and be open, tell them that you think you may have a Pass/Agressive PT, and that you are trying change, going to see GP, etc...

Right I'm off to get me tea! All the best to ye, and I hope everything works out!

P.S. Having a diagnosis is no excuse to behave like a diagnosis. :eek:Good God! I think I found my sig.!!!! Thank you, Patrick!:clap::clap::clap::clap:
Ayup Schizz (Duck?!)

Thanks for the response, your parting paragraph line me laugh!

This is the strange thing about my behaviour, it just doesn't come into play when I'm working. But, as an example, many many years ago I ended up in financial trouble because of not making payments on a loan. It wasn't that I couldn't afford it, I arrogantly decided to just not pay it. I made a (conscious) decision that I didn't need to. I've done something similar recently, but it's more like I thought everything would be ok, rather than being arrogant and thinking I didn't need to pay it.

It's caused a lot of friction, and at this stage I'm not at all confident I can save my relationship. I think I've pushed her too far. :cry: I did try to speak to her about the PA behavior, but she didn't believe me at all and said it was just an excuse. I've had a stressful week, new job, so I'll give it another go with her this weekend.


hey Patrick

dont feel like a fake for posting things and asking questions, it gives us something to do :p

if i self DX myself then i too could have Passive Aggressive Personality as most things will fit (if i need it to :D ), apart from depression, AD and BP for 18 months (before the doctor took that dx away from me) i really could fit into alot of things (some of which are new and i am having trouble admitting to)

i would like to understand myself and know but i can also recognise that genetics and character traits are a factor in things. its a case of finding out what those could be as mine were built on a foundation of sand and a family with MH issues so need my starting point (been looking, havent found it yet)

go and see your GP but schizzzoid is right being open with the ones you do trust can help alot.

goodluck
Hmm, genetics. I'm very like my father, and I hate that. I try to be everything he isn't. You can say nothing worse to me than "You're just like your Dad". :eek:

Hey Patrick,welcome to the forum.
I belive my boyfriend is passive~aggressive,because he can be so nice and polite to others but then is so so angry with me,which is hard because I love him and don't understand where it's coming from,as he is normaly so chilled.
Wendy x
I'm a nice guy, to everyone. It doesn't get me anywhere. I've started this new job, with a few other guys, and already I can't believe how some of them get on in life with the way they are. Madness.

Sorry to hear about your issues. Maybe he's just using you as an outlet for something that's upsetting him, because he knows of all people you're the one that will forgive him?

Thanks for all the advice and warm welcome guys/gals. I'm going to ring the Doctor in the morning.
 
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