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Partner with depression

midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
21,800
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
hi LG94

I am going through the same thing as you right now. Maybe worse. If you want to I can offer advice. I have lived it past 2 years. My wife is really nasty to me and calls me a abuser. Out of nowhere she turns. She has BPD and depression. I think personally it’s an excuse even if she is diagnosed with it. In this day and age women have learnt how to emotionally abuse men. Control them. Media influences and other thing. It’s a fact. So I don’t want to hear a feminist women on here saying otherwise. I could write a million things. Was your mrs on sertraline. Mine is on it. Thanks
if she's disagnosed with it then she'll be working on improving it

i'm speaking as a BPD'er myself, emotional mood swings are one of the things that happens in bpd

not all women are abusers, just like not all men are abusers

some women abuse men, others dont, just like some men abuse and manipulate women, some dont

my own ex was a abusive manipulator, which personally screwed my brain up completely, this was on top of my then-undisagnosed BPD and other stuff they said
 
T

terrytibbs999

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Birmingham
hello. Yes I understand. I’m sorry to hear that. Hope your happy now. I think she’s doing that to me. She’s messing my head up. Now I’m having the strength to leave her. Her episodes can last all day. It is draining me. Last month she was calling me names so I said she was an attention seeker. She starting calling me
The most disgusting things on earth. So I left. She actually followed me to my car and punched me
In the head ten times. When I locked the car door she started punching the door like crazy then had the nerve to say it’s my fault her hand was broke. I left for 2 weeks. I came back to her. And now here we are again a week later. It’s deja vu. Its None stop. I loved her for 2 years. I do everything for her. Get her medication go shopping. Get cat food. I do everything. She makes a fuss over doing a bit of house work. Even tho I do everything. And always acts like she’s hard done by. It’s constant. When we fall out. She threatens to have me arrested when she attacks me. I have a criminal record. She knows I will get in trouble whether I am right or wrong. She rings her family and saying I’m abusing her even though she just attacked me and calling me the most disgusting things ever. I understand her mental health. Even if I love her I can’t allow this to ruin me ? I’ve had a hard enough life as it is. I think I should split up. I told her I today I’ve had enough we’re over. 100%. All she’s done is call me nasty stuff. She has no respect for me as a husband. She questions me constantly. She’s nagging me. It’s non stop and draining. She says I have mental health when I don’t. And I think deep down she causing me to have depression.


if she's disagnosed with it then she'll be working on improving it

i'm speaking as a BPD'er myself, emotional mood swings are one of the things that happens in bpd

not all women are abusers, just like not all men are abusers

some women abuse men, others dont, just like some men abuse and manipulate women, some dont

my own ex was a abusive manipulator, which personally screwed my brain up completely, this was on top of my then-undisagnosed BPD and other stuff they said
 
T

terrytibbs999

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Birmingham
hello. Yes I understand. I’m sorry to hear that. Hope your happy now. I think she’s doing that to me. She’s messing my head up. Now I’m having the strength to leave her. Her episodes can last all day. It is draining me. Last month she was calling me names so I said she was an attention seeker. She starting calling me
The most disgusting things on earth. So I left. She actually followed me to my car and punched me
In the head ten times. When I locked the car door she started punching the door like crazy then had the nerve to say it’s my fault her hand was broke. I left for 2 weeks. I came back to her. And now here we are again a week later. It’s deja vu. Its None stop. I loved her for 2 years. I do everything for her. Get her medication go shopping. Get cat food. I do everything. She makes a fuss over doing a bit of house work. Even tho I do everything. And always acts like she’s hard done by. It’s constant. When we fall out. She threatens to have me arrested when she attacks me. I have a criminal record. She knows I will get in trouble whether I am right or wrong. She rings her family and saying I’m abusing her even though she just attacked me and calling me the most disgusting things ever. I understand her mental health. Even if I love her I can’t allow this to ruin me ? I’ve had a hard enough life as it is. I think I should split up. I told her I today I’ve had enough we’re over. 100%. All she’s done is call me nasty stuff. She has no respect for me as a husband. She questions me constantly. She’s nagging me. It’s non stop and draining. She says I have mental health when I don’t. And I think deep down she causing me to have depression.
also it’s been 2 years. She’s been violent to me at least ten times. Verbally abusive hundreds. I can’t wait my whole life to see if she will change even if I love her. I have done everything for her. Helped her get from a hostel to a 2 bedroom home. Financially crippled myself to make her happy. She doesn’t give a shit. She says it was me who done that. I used to fund her weed habit for 18 months straight. She didn’t care how much I was spending. I spent at least 6 7000 on weed for her. And the rest. I think all she cares about is her cannabis and her cats. She shows this rude behaviour to me and her mom. She doesn’t do It to her dad and step mom. Or certain friends. It’s an absolute joke how she can treat me like this. This
Makes me think she is faking it a lot of the time. Playing up on it.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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England
Just leave and don't look back. Anyone that'll punch you in the head ten times deserves nothing more from you ever again.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
21,800
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
also it’s been 2 years. She’s been violent to me at least ten times. Verbally abusive hundreds. I can’t wait my whole life to see if she will change even if I love her. I have done everything for her. Helped her get from a hostel to a 2 bedroom home. Financially crippled myself to make her happy. She doesn’t give a shit. She says it was me who done that. I used to fund her weed habit for 18 months straight. She didn’t care how much I was spending. I spent at least 6 7000 on weed for her. And the rest. I think all she cares about is her cannabis and her cats. She shows this rude behaviour to me and her mom. She doesn’t do It to her dad and step mom. Or certain friends. It’s an absolute joke how she can treat me like this. This
Makes me think she is faking it a lot of the time. Playing up on it.
it sounds like you need to walk away and not return to her, for your own sake, you cant be a punching bag for someone else :hug: its not fair on you, even though she does have mental health problems :hug:

Dont tell her face to face that you are leaving, just pack your stuff when she's not watching and go, then make sure you have a lawyer solicitor person deal with the situation of telling her you have gone :hug1:
 
T

terrytibbs999

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Birmingham
I know. She seems to think because I called her attention seeker. And it triggered her mental health that’s she’s allowed to do that . She punched me hard aswell. But I’m a man so I’m supposed to suck it up. If I don’t that to her. I’d be doing a year or 2 in prison. This is how’s she’s manipulating me. I think I need to Find the strength to leave her for good. I have been so good to this women. She just don’t see it.
 
T

terrytibbs999

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Birmingham
it sounds like you need to walk away and not return to her, for your own sake, you cant be a punching bag for someone else :hug: its not fair on you, even though she does have mental health problems :hug:
I think it’s because I have no friends as they all use me. I’m lonely. She knows this. And is taking advantage. All my friends use me. And I think she’s no better then Them. She can’t afford to run the house without me. But I don’t think that’s my
Problem anymore. She should have though about that. Before attacking me. Multiple times. The worst thing is. Her mouth is worse. She says the most disgusting things ever. When she’s in a rage. For 20 30 minutes straight. She can call me hundreds of disgusting things. It makes me sick just thinking about it. She ain’t good for me. Even if I have a criminal past she used it against me. This doesn’t make me a bad person. I go out of my way for anyone. That’s why I’ve been prison. Because I get used. And she’s capitalised on this. Deep down I think she’s playing a game which I don’t want to play.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
21,800
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
I think it’s because I have no friends as they all use me. I’m lonely. She knows this. And is taking advantage. All my friends use me. And I think she’s no better then Them. She can’t afford to run the house without me. But I don’t think that’s my
Problem anymore. She should have though about that. Before attacking me. Multiple times. The worst thing is. Her mouth is worse. She says the most disgusting things ever. When she’s in a rage. For 20 30 minutes straight. She can call me hundreds of disgusting things. It makes me sick just thinking about it. She ain’t good for me. Even if I have a criminal past she used it against me. This doesn’t make me a bad person. I go out of my way for anyone. That’s why I’ve been prison. Because I get used. And she’s capitalised on this. Deep down I think she’s playing a game which I don’t want to play.
Do you have anywhere you could go, who you can trust when you leave? there might be safe places for abused men to go, i see what google can come up with :hug1:
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Messages
1,313
Location
England
I have been so good to this women. She just don’t see it.
And she never will. Just leave her. If this was the other way round and a female was posting on here about being attacked and abused by her boyfriend you'd be telling her to leave wouldn't you.

I think it’s because I have no friends as they all use me. I’m lonely. She knows this. And is taking advantage. All my friends use me. And I think she’s no better then Them.
Yet another post on here in which someone is the abused and is with an abuser that takes advantage of their softer nature. You'll be miserable every day you stay in this relationship, find the strength my friend.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
21,800
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
I think it’s because I have no friends as they all use me. I’m lonely. She knows this. And is taking advantage. All my friends use me. And I think she’s no better then Them. She can’t afford to run the house without me. But I don’t think that’s my
Problem anymore. She should have though about that. Before attacking me. Multiple times. The worst thing is. Her mouth is worse. She says the most disgusting things ever. When she’s in a rage. For 20 30 minutes straight. She can call me hundreds of disgusting things. It makes me sick just thinking about it. She ain’t good for me. Even if I have a criminal past she used it against me. This doesn’t make me a bad person. I go out of my way for anyone. That’s why I’ve been prison. Because I get used. And she’s capitalised on this. Deep down I think she’s playing a game which I don’t want to play.

the others seem to be for women and children

i still looking :hug1:

edit: Domestic Abuse Counselling Service | New Heights
 
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terrytibbs999

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Birmingham
Do you have anywhere you could go, who you can trust when you leave? there might be safe places for abused men to go, i see what google can come up with :hug1:
oh I’m at my mom and dads. I stayed there when she attacked me few weeks ago. And I stupidly went back
And now she’s been verbally abusive again. Not long till she’s physically abusive again. My mom and dad didn’t want me to go
Back to her because they know she has issues.
I won’t have problem finding anywhere to live. All my stuff is in my mom and dads. It’s so bad. That I was scared to even take my belongings back there. Because if she has an episode. I will get forced out the house which is ours. And I won’t have access to my
Belongings. She’ll threaten to call the police. Also the thing is she always go on like everyone has abused her in life. I’m starting to think it might be lies and she creates all the issues herself. Then acts like everyone has wronged and abused her mentally. I find it far fetched. I still love her but sorry to say I think she’s too far gone. I think my whole life with her would be like this. She had a miscarriage last year. Whole time she was pregnant. She treated me like absolute garbage. We can’t raise a child no way. They would
Be troubled from a young age
 
T

terrytibbs999

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Birmingham

the others seem to be for women and children

i still looking :hug1:

edit: Domestic Abuse Counselling Service | New Heights
Thank you for researching this. But honestly I don’t need it. I’m venting. I’m okay. Just wanted bit of advice. I kmow
What’s really going on. She’s the problem not me. But she would live her life happily letting me Think I’m messed up in the head. When I tell her honestly she needs help. Her response is. You have severe mental health. I absolutely do not. I get angry because all she does is wind me
Up. That is not mental health.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
21,800
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
oh I’m at my mom and dads. I stayed there when she attacked me few weeks ago. And I stupidly went back
And now she’s been verbally abusive again. Not long till she’s physically abusive again. My mom and dad didn’t want me to go
Back to her because they know she has issues.
I won’t have problem finding anywhere to live. All my stuff is in my mom and dads. It’s so bad. That I was scared to even take my belongings back there. Because if she has an episode. I will get forced out the house which is ours. And I won’t have access to my
Belongings. She’ll threaten to call the police. Also the thing is she always go on like everyone has abused her in life. I’m starting to think it might be lies and she creates all the issues herself. Then acts like everyone has wronged and abused her mentally. I find it far fetched. I still love her but sorry to say I think she’s too far gone. I think my whole life with her would be like this. She had a miscarriage last year. Whole time she was pregnant. She treated me like absolute garbage. We can’t raise a child no way. They would
Be troubled from a young age
does she know where your mum and dad lives? in case she decided to go there and do violences against them as well as you :hug1:
 
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terrytibbs999

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Birmingham
Oh no she wouldn’t do that. She’s clever. She does it indoors or outside our home. . Not on display to my family. Because that would make me right. And she doesn’t like me
Being right
 
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