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partner recently diagnosed with bipolar 1, what does this mean for our relationship?

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supportivegf

Member
Joined
Dec 5, 2019
Messages
6
Location
new york
hello everyone, i'll try to keep this short but i'll give a TLDR: i'm wondering what my boyfriends manic episodes will look like now that he is getting treatment. i experienced his first ever manic episode, and it was very confusing, stressful, and unsettling, and i'm worried that all his manic episodes will be a repeat of what we've already been through. any insight?

for more context, i've been seeking some guidance regarding my partner's new diagnosis with bipolar 1. he had his first ever manic episode this past june, and it was a huge shock to us all. when his mood began to shift, i didn't understand what was going on at all and felt confused and lost. the person i loved was turning into a stranger in front of me.

as things progressively got worse, i convinced him to see a doctor where they told me his diagnosis. however, his mania was very severe, coupled with full blown psychosis which made him unwilling to accept what was happening or that anything was wrong. he lashed out at me, saying hurtful things or blaming me for thinking that he needed help, and even got aggressive at times--characteristics that are completely opposite to his usual kind and sensitive personality. finally, after 3 painful months (including multiple forced hospitalizations, and several times on and off his medication) he began to get better. now 6 months after his diagnosis he has found a good therapist and medication which works for him, and he seems much more stable.

im happy that hes gotten better because it was such a relief to see the man i loved come back to me again, but now im thinking about the future. with this new factor in our relationship, i'm worried how it will affect us long term. i was hoping to get some insight from people who have lived with this disorder or have loved ones that experience it. what should i expect during his future manic episodes now that hes on medication and getting treatment? will it always be as severe as this first one (i.e. should i expect him to be involuntarily hospitalized and refuse treatment every time his mania resurfaces? will he be as withdrawn and angry towards me, or is it possible that he will be more controlled?). i know that everyone deals with this differently, but any personal experience or advice you may be able to offer would be incredibly appreciated.
 
EyeCU2

EyeCU2

Active member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
42
Location
Oakland, CA
First and foremost, THERAPY and MEDICATION change the behavior of the person receiving it. AND THEY HAVE TO DO BOTH. Obviously, he will NOT act the same as he did before. I can't predict the future, but I believe because you have not dealt with your fears, that will automatically cause issues. Living with a bipolar is not easy no matter what. I tried it, and couldn't deal with it. You have to decide how much you really care about him.
 
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supportivegf

Member
Joined
Dec 5, 2019
Messages
6
Location
new york
@EyeCU2 thank you for your response. i understand that the future will be unpredictable, but i appreciate hearing others' perspectives with this disorder. i'm just hoping that he remains committed to himself and his treatment.
 
Warrior

Warrior

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2019
Messages
1,518
Location
UK
Hello @supportivegf sorry to hear your partner as developed bipolar and it can send we aggressive, mood swings kick in and we can be verbal to those we love but it's how the minds reacting at the time, any hurtful comments let them fly over your head as that's what my hubby does with me as he knows deep down i :love: him and he as a load to put up with concerning mental health issues besides others and we've been together 18yrs now.

Getting the help he needs is the correct road for helping himself and at the same time looking at yourself at how much you love him and how much you can cope with the change.

This link may give you a further in look :hug5:

 
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LoveandPeace

Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2020
Messages
5
Location
USA
As long as he is adherent to his medication therapy regime he should be okay and not have another episode. Everytime I had an episode was when I was not taking any medications (a risk i took to see if I truly had BP1 undersupervision of doctor). But now I know my diagnosis and I know I need to be in treatment with medication. I am happy with the medication I am on and I am doing well.
 
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FiddlyDigits

Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2020
Messages
22
Location
Sandy, UT USA
It took me ten years to accept my diagnosis in that time I caused a lot of damage I went through a divorce and had legal trouble. Now that things calmed down and my current wife is very supportive. She is my first line of defense for a manic episode. She can tell when I'm getting weird or off before I even have a clue. That way instead of getting to the point where I need hospitalization I end up contacting my doctor and meds are shuffled.

As long as he takes his medication and you two have agreed to communicate I don't think later episodes will be a problem. Just continue to be supportive.
 
C

Consideration

Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
11
Location
England
The strength of personalities has a big impact on the result for both of you.
Medication is a third of the solution with loving support another, finally, you need to find the triggers.
Accept some verbal abuse and let it go over your head, try not to argue which can calm the moment.
If your love is strong and he recognizes what you do to support him, give it a go.

It will help to have a friend or family member to support you too, look after yourself.
 
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