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Parents

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Sammisal

Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2008
Messages
17
Location
London
A few months ago I decided I wasn't coping and so I moved back in with my parents. They have known that I suffer from depression from very soon after I was diagnosed. My mum in particular has always asked how I am. At first this was about me recovering. She was constantly asking how long I expected I would continue to be on my antidepressants (it's now been about 20 months, I think), and she always seemed to think that I should be coming off them soon. Now that I'm just getting worse and worse it has changed slightly. So now asks how everything's going: GP appointments, CBT appointments (I was doing them online - have stopped now), counselling appointments. She seems to want to know everything that's going on. I've just had a really bad weekend, and my parents were away for the weekend, so she's asking what was wrong, why my mood is low, what I've been doing, what I've eaten; she seems to have drawn the line at asking about how often I've changed my underwear, but only just!

The thing is, I just don't want to talk to them. I can't explain why my mood is sometimes down and sometimes less down. My depression isn't something that was triggered by a traumatic event - they don't seem to understand that. I find it quite intrusive to be asked about everything, and constantly about my mood. Also, when I'm down, I don't like to talk really. But my mum especially seems to be really offended by my reluctance to open up!

So, just wondering what parents are like for other people - and if anyone else has any ideas about dealing with this?

Sam
 
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blackroses

Member
Joined
Oct 3, 2008
Messages
16
i've been through a LOT of trouble and struggles with my parents. i think parents find it hard to give up power and to not worry about you, especially because we have these conditions they don't fully understand but they want to and want to help so badly sometimes its suffocating!

i think people are sometimes like elastic,if you get too close to me i'll stretch and stretch further away, but in time i'll snap back! i love my parents so much and they do give me a LOT of space, but i love talking to them and they're great people! i think defining times when its NOT okay for them to talk to me unless i talk to them first was a BIG thing for me. they seemed to always want to talk and as a side effect i never wanted to, so we'd get into massive arguments.

i'm a big of a gym obsessive and when im going to the gym im so focused on what im about to do,speaking to me is like throwing a match at a barrel of oil,so we've worked it out and very rarely do they talk to me then.coming FROM the gym im still in that really focused mood and it takes a little while to get out of it, but sometimes im okay with talking. a big thing for me is when i wake up, when i wake up im like a grouchy bear, do not approach! people buzzing around me and making noise when ive JUST got up is the worst thing so thats another time.

another thing is, they need to learn not to constantly seek reassurance that you're okay, you need to work out some way of telling them, hey it's better if you treat me like a normal person and we talk about sports, or news or whats on tv tonight! it doesn't have to be about my illness! in time then hopefully you feel you can go and say, hey im not feeling so good at the moment, but dont worry about it i'll be cool. tell them you need space if you do! i hope i havent rambled on too much but i know i have! i guess having gone through these things you learn a lot and just want to share. good luck my friend!
 
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