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Paranoid going crazy again

Heidrun

Heidrun

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For stupid reasons I am going completely nuts on this paranoia.
Rational thought tell it to stop, but there is some fundamental part which wants to believe it and it drives me crazy.
Its about my friends and I dont know whats right or wrong anymore..
I seem to push them away further and further,,
they dont know whats going on and try to do their bests but i keep on doubting them
Overanalyzing,, overthinking..
This will kill me some day..
I feel like i was the one who fucks it up every time.

how the hell do i fix this. my friends are too good for me.
 
calypso

calypso

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Your friends obviously love you and are trying hard to be there for you. Why push them away? I understand over analysing - I do that after a social situation where I go over everything I said and did to check in case I did something wrong.

Can you just accept that they see something in you that is worth holding on to and can see past your problems.
 
Heidrun

Heidrun

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Your friends obviously love you and are trying hard to be there for you. Why push them away? I understand over analysing - I do that after a social situation where I go over everything I said and did to check in case I did something wrong.

Can you just accept that they see something in you that is worth holding on to and can see past your problems.
I can accept it when I am completely rational.. But these breaks just make me a whole different person, looking back now i was completely gone... I know they love me. I just cannot comprehend why I have these feelings. Although I know where they came from, i have a lot of experiences with people I care about that either left me, abandoned me or screwed me over....
thanks :)
 
calypso

calypso

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Have you ever been able to explain to your friends that you are feeling this way and that you have paranoid episodes at times? You have posted in the Personality Disorder area, do you have BPD? IF so there is a therapy called DBT which is dialectical behavioural therapy and was created just for people with BPD although it is being rolled out for other people now. Its worth asking if it is in your area and if you can go along to it. It can help immensely with your problems.
 
Heidrun

Heidrun

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Have you ever been able to explain to your friends that you are feeling this way and that you have paranoid episodes at times? You have posted in the Personality Disorder area, do you have BPD? IF so there is a therapy called DBT which is dialectical behavioural therapy and was created just for people with BPD although it is being rolled out for other people now. Its worth asking if it is in your area and if you can go along to it. It can help immensely with your problems.
Yes I have explained one good friend. But I am very ashamed of it and have a hard time being open about it. I was diagnosed with cptsd and sighns of paranoia.. but they did not yet diagnose me as paranoid
These episodes are really shitty and I am afraid its something that cannot be fixed and i wont be able to have any friends at all. They dont deserve it but i dont know what to do
 
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