Paranoia?

[Nooma42]

Hi everyone,

I'm having some issues and I need some advice. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about four years ago and I'm currently re-medicating after stopping treatment.

I'm currently taking just 200mg per day of Epilim Chrono (with the view of slowly increasing it up to 800mg and then going on anti-depressants). I've been on 20mg for about two weeks.
I've realised that I'm suffering really badly from paranoia. I'm not sure if it is the illness or the drugs. It just seems to be something that has hit me hard in the past week or so.
My partner of 2 years has just started a new job. We have an excellent relationship except that my partner has phobia of sex and physical relations (for which they are going to seek treatment for). She (we are a same sex couple) just started a new job which she's really enjoying and seems very happy. However, I keep thinking that she's having affairs or finding other people attractive. Little things she does (and really ordinary things) make me jump to conclusions, such as offering her new female boss a lift to work.
It really hit me this weeked when we went to see her mum perform in a choir. My partner is really shy and was really nervous about meeting her cousin who she hasn't seen for many, many years. When it was the half time break her cousin went to the bathroom. My partner sat for five minutes and announced she was going to the bathroom too. I instantly thought she was going off to meet her cousin for relations. I realise this is totally stupid but I couldn't help but think it and feel totally jealous and upset. The main thought I have is that "she's having physical relationships with these people because its just me she finds repulsive". I know its stupid.

I know what I'm thinking is totally irrational. I trust my partner with my life. Her dad cheated on her mum so she is appalled by any form of cheating and has promised me she would never hurt me like that. I believe her totally. However, this past week there have been these thoughts creeping into my mind.

I dont know whether to go and see my psychiatrist straight away or just keep taking the drugs in the hope that a higher dose will make it settle.

Thanks

 

[trombone_babe]

Hi, sorry to hear you're having problems with paranoia, I've had that to a lesser degree in the past and I know it can be crippling and very destructive. You've nothing to lose by calling your psych if you can and asking if it's just more time/the increased dose you need, if that will help put your mind at rest. Personally I reckon you will feel better once the meds have kicked in but I'm no expert, best get some medical advice.

I hope you can get this sorted soon.

 

[teddybear2067]

I don't think it's just you that's paranoid. I'm bipolar and I get very paranoid. I used to think my parents didn't love me, and sometimes I think my friends hate me, etc...i just think it's something we all have to deal with. The trick is to realize you're only being paranoid and then deal with it.

 

[rasselas]

...

hi.

not wanting to rock the boat but there appears to be a huge disparity in your relationship in terms of sex.

when these sexual disparities occur, trouble starts. and yes, that trouble will start in someone's head. in this case, yours.

it's not paranoia in the strictest sense. you have sexual needs. because of your partners problems she is unable to sate them.

so, you will have perfectly natural suspicions. because in a relationship with sexual parity - both partners are regularly sexually fulfilling one another (well, ideally they would be!) and that's what maintains the sense of intimacy, and the very necessary relief of the natural (and o joy of joys, never-ending) build up of sexual tension.

you have my sympathy. we have this instinct in relationships that if the partner is with-holding sex then they must be getting it elsewhere - and of course, if you've ever been cheated on, this is generally the case.

so really - all these suspicions aren't paranoia in the strictest sense. they are pretty normal reactions to an unusual situation.

i can't really offer any more help than that. other than maybe - you mentioned your partner getting sexual counselling - that you either attend sessions with her if that's possible or maybe consider talking to someone (perhaps even Relate) independently.

take care.

 

[Affective]

it's not paranoia in the strictest sense. you have sexual needs. because of your partners problems she is unable to sate them.

I agree with this to some extent. When I was in a Psychotic state I was so paranoid that I believed the government was out to get me and that Aliens were watching me from the moon, so I stopped going out and lost a lot of sleep. However I believe many couples think the way you do, I think it's natural, so I don't think it's psychotic paranoia.