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Paranoia

Blackrat

Blackrat

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2008
Messages
64
Location
Far away
Does anyone else here have problems with paranoia? How do you deal with it?

For me, it's one of the biggest problems I have and I hate it.
I've never been the most trusting person, but my ex was probably the one that made it worse than ever...

He decided that I was Schizophrenic based on a list of symptoms he found online - he went through them and said "you have that... and you have that... and you do that..." and occasionally I'd say "no I don't" and he'd tell me that I only *thought* that because I was ill. It got to the point where I started to believe him. He'd also beat me up and if I hit him back, he'd leave and come back a few days later saying that *I* beat him up for no reason and I just wasn't remembering it right. When I threw him out for good, he'd call me over and over and tell me that I called him and he'd get his friends to call and pretend to be various "doctors" telling me what he thought was wrong with me. Then he just got nasty - he went on LiveJournal and posted everything. When he left, he'd stolen a bunch of papers belonging to me and put up my name, adress, phone number, who my doctor was, my bank number, photos of me he'd taken when I was asleep... it all got deleted, but still left me shaken up.

Now I'm with a very sweet bloke (he literally came and rescued me from my ex) but I find it so hard to trust him - if he's a few minutes later calling me than he said he would, it's because he's trying to worry me. If he said "I was taking to a mate of mine..." I read into it as him cheating on me with this "mate" of his, if I don't see him for a while, I think he's going to leave me....

He's always been really good about this - he knows why I get so upset, but it's been two years since I left my ex (he kept pestering me for a few months after that, but I've not heard from him in well over a year) and it just feels so unfair on him that I can't trust him because of what someone else has done. I hate having to ask him to prove that there's nobody else because something stupid made me paranoid.

i just want to get rid of this paranoia, because it's following me all the time and it's not nice for me and it's really unfair to him.
 
S

saffron

Guest
blackrat,
what you are going through is real and nobody has the right to say different. I understand exactly what you are going through. your old Bf sounded like he is totally f'd up and what he did was totally out of order and not your fault at all, you cant help that he is an ar*ehole, can you. your new bf sounds much more sane and understanding, and I think the more honest with him the bette he will be, I know its hard to put this on someone, but even just saying that you are not comfortable with a situation or that when he is late it makes you feel like this? or that? then he will can be more understanding, rather than trying to mind read the way you are feeling then having to pick up peices of something you are not sure of how you broke. like yo sad he literally rescued you , so he must be a decent guy and at least know something about what you went through.
I am also very paranoid and do not trust anyone, you have jumped the first hurdle by understanding that your new bf literally 'rescued you' so he is there for you, and obviously wants to be part of your life. at least if you are honest with him by telling him how you feel he can help you.

hope that makes sense, am waffling now.
S
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
Blackrat I really do suffer with parnoia terriably I cannot tel you how bad, I'm not so bad in my relationship but oh my god does it get bad. when its only mild I can stick my two fingers but I have days when I cannot leave the house and I'm on my hands n knees walking round I cannot offer advice how to deal with it when its this bad because I havent learnt yet, at the moment I dont have any n havent for about a week but thats got to be the first time in a year.JD
 
T

Twylight

Guest
Yep, me too
I suffer from Paranoia and guilty feelings - it's a constant nag

I've got to the stage where I say ' so I feel paranoid, i'm still going to operate "

sometimes it's easier said than done though
 

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