paranoia may be triggery

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parakeet

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Joined
Jun 23, 2013
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50
So at first they dx'd me schizoaffective disorder and ptsd. Now i'm that plus borderline personality disorder. However, i'm wondering if they'll get rid of schizoaffective because pdoc states my paranoia is bpd. I wonder do any of you know how you can tell if there are different kinds of paranoia? I have this thing about fear of someone coming up behind me to attack me. I check the doors to make sure they're locked and careful about making sure the house is locked up as well as I have security cameras on my house.
I've heard muffled talking a couple of times in 15 years and I had been hearing my phone ring when it wasn't. Sometimes when I shower the shower curtain blows in on my and I think someone has entered the bathing area and is going to attack me and kill me. I make sure I usually shower when husband is home but this summer I've been daring and just make sure all doors are locked if I shower at home. Usually shower in a cabana at pool.
I had a puzzle that had little children in it playing and I could see a little boy moving. I also have a doll that was my grandmothers and my grandpa gave it to me after she died when I was 5. Its dressed in my native country garb. Ithought the doll was becoming alive and I had to have husband put it somewhere where I couldn't see it anymore. It was really sad because I loved that doll.
She's a big doll about 3' tall when standing.
I don't know where I fit. I have sh'd starting as a child. stopped and drank and smoked dope and then as an adult my brother really upset me and I started doing it really the worst i'd ever done it. Even a third degree big big burn.

I wish I knew what to do about my upcoming docs appt. I just want to be taking 300.00 of medicine in an injection once a month for the right reasons. Schizoaffective disorder. My mood has usually been depressed but sometimes i'm crazily hyper.
aren't we all?
i'm also alcoholic and abused oxycodone and MJ. just figured out recently i'm addicted to oxy. MJ is legal where I live but I've thrown the mj away. and hubby has the pain meds.

Gee ain't I just a bright ray of sunshine! NOT!
well there you have it. sad but true.
 
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BennyB

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Some times it's hard not to be paranoid but I've found if your think about happy kinds of things then its easyer ,and a stouben rashinality that there no reason that that could happen . But try not to dwell on it
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Dec 15, 2008
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13,626
Yes I get paranoid thoughts all the time, my home is always locked up and I double check a lot of things. I'm scared to walk alone in case, just in case! I have hyper tension sometimes as well as massive lows, have p.t.s.d. and voices. I think we all handle things in different ways. Alcohol sends me a bit weird, but it doesn't stop me drinking, although lately I have cut down a lot.
I don;t even know what MJ is? Hahaha - silly me.

I hope that you can have some happy times and try to believe there is always something good waiting for you.

I keep trying to think that myself!

Stay safe
KS
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Passionflower

Passionflower

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Jul 15, 2011
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1,386
Location
UK
I don't know whether it helps to know myexperiences with schizoaffective disorder but I will tell you a little about how things are with me.If I don't take anti psychotics I stay in a severe state of psychosis that never seems to go away totally. Even on the meds I still have some voices that comment on what I am doing and tell me to hurt others and sometimes myself(which I don't act on of course). In the psychosis I have paranoia so bad I ripped electronic things like telephones, smoke alarms etc to bits looking for surveillance equipment. I see signs of words on tv or in the newspaper being broadcast to convey a message specifically to tell me something. I write pages and pages of nonsensical words(seem to make sense at the time). I hung signs on my walls that I thought would ward off the ones who had me under surveillance. These signs meant nothing to anyone else.I believed completely that I had a chip in my head that was transmitting messages to people around me so everyone knew what I was thinking. There is so much more but it only gets worse lol. This is of course only my experience with schizoaffective and I don't know much about BPD to compare them.Maybe it helps to know someone elses experience although obviously we are all different.
 
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