paranoia makes me mess up agan

[TinaB]

I caused a big row last night by being paranoid about the motives of someone in a message by text. I know not to impulsively react but I do it anyway. Its when I feel somene is trying to control me. Anyone understand or has managed to think before they act and has bpd?

 

[Fairy Lucretia]

sending love xx

 

[Grape]

I don't have BPD but in the past i have acted before thinking. I think, for me anyway, i am less impulsive with age. The older i get, the more i think before speaking, the less i speak generally. I'm not saying it isn't a symptom of BPD, i don't know, but it definitely is a feature of youth, so it is something you will do less as you get older.

 

[TinaB]

ah thanks for replying, but I am way beyond youth, so unfortunately it is my bpd. and I am sick of doing it again and again, but have to try to keep practicing not reacting and thinking first when triggered

 

[Spit_it_out]

I know how you feel, my paranoia has driven so many people away and has caused my current relationship of 4 years to be extremely rocky. I always think people have ulterior motives to the point I can't stand another woman even saying "hi" to my partner. At the time it seems so real, and I explode/act on it, but after I've had a blow out, driven somone away/upset them, I realise what I've done and it makes me feel so sh** that all I want to do is hurt myself... and then I do that and feel guilty for leaving more scars on my body.. it's a never-ending cycle. A mash of emotions and inappropriate behavior. Exhausting and hurtful to everyone involved. You're not alone. Gael x