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Paranoia and BPD

Deadheading

Deadheading

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
152
Does anyone here diagnosed with BPD experience paranoia? I think my paranoia had intensified two years ago. I don't believe anyone is out to kill me, but I can interpret actions as provocations.
 
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Twokiwisandabanana

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 23, 2016
Messages
811
Hi there yes paranoia is difficult to DEal with I heard this the other dy and I liked it
Give people the chance to be nice.
Hope things improve for you.
 
Deadheading

Deadheading

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
152
Give people the chance to be nice? People aren't nice unless they want something out of me.
 
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Barcud_Coch

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
51
Location
UK
I get paranoia whenever my mental health is bad, not sure if it's an extension of my anxiety/social phobia. I haven't left the house for a week and have avoided the front rooms/windows in case "people see me"(feels closer to hurt me). I'm convinced my ex-boss was trying to use my illness against me to get rid of me. I feel "got at" and I don't trust anyone "outside". I left work last week after a bad meeting and just didn't go back.
Not quite diagnosed with BPD yet. Have 'probable' from mental health team/friends with BPD/GP etc but am seeing a pyschiatrist next week
 
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quantumnal

Member
Joined
Jul 13, 2018
Messages
22
Location
Missouri
I was actually just about to post about paranoia in the journal section. Today was day 6 after finding out I'm BPD, and it was a hard day. I can't talk to anyone because I pick apart what they say to me and how they say it. Everything anyone says sounds sarcastic or double-edged. My friend said "I'm glad to be able to give you advice so that SOMETHING good came out of my abuse". I had said that very phrase to her days before, that if nothing else good ever came out of her abuse I'm glad she can use it to help others. She's never used capitals before and all day I'm thinking...was that sarcastic? Did she take my previous words to mean that giving me advice was the only good thing to come out of her abuse? Stuff like that that makes me second guess myself or get upset with other people until I just cannot talk to anyone anymore.
I've gone off of social media altogether because I have no idea what anyone is ever really trying to say and I become obsessed with what they meant and what I did to make them react that way until I am utterly insane. My husband will say something and it will hurt my feelings deeply, only to find out he didn't mean that at all. If I react to everyone that I think means something, I end up going around embarrassing myself overreacting to things or taking them wrong.
That's why I really like Twokiwisandabanana's suggestion about giving people the chance to be nice. If I had reacted to my friend I would have hurt her feelings, cause when I asked her what she meant about SOMETHING good coming out of her abuse she said she had a particularly hard day and was glad to have been able to give me advice, and hadn't even remembered that I had said that very phrase days ago. And ten times out of ten, when I don't react to something hurtful my husband said and ask him about it later instead, it was totally different than what I thought.

As a person with BPD, I am constantly searching for things I need to protect and defend myself against. That's why I am so paranoid...trying to see danger before it sees me. But that's all a lie and is only hurting me, it stopped helping years ago.
 
Q

quantumnal

Member
Joined
Jul 13, 2018
Messages
22
Location
Missouri
Give people the chance to be nice? People aren't nice unless they want something out of me.
Deadheading, this quote is what BPD is all about. We convince ourselves that no one can be trusted, that everyone has an agenda. It's a defense mechanism which to us is the absolute truth but only really succeeds in making us lonely and angry at everyone.

I think...I'm sick and tired of living in this world where I'm right to believe that people are only nice when they want something. It's exhausting, always watching my back, and all I'm proving is that the world in which I am right is a miserable one. Not much of a first-place prize, is it, dear?
 
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schizolanza

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
2,732
Lots of people are only nice if they want something. But some people are nice without wanting anything at all. Its nice to be nice my mate says that sometimes. I know about paranoia though and what it can do. Just because you're paranoid doesnt mean that no one's out to harm you though. I read peoples post count sometimes and I have racing thoughts that the poster could be a psychiatrist spying on me. I often wonder how much of that sort of thing goes on. Ive seen patients spying on other patients on the locked ward. Its happened to me aswell. But there's people here who are consistently nice for nothing.they do exist.
 
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quantumnal

Member
Joined
Jul 13, 2018
Messages
22
Location
Missouri
Thanks schizolanza for that reminder. It's important not to live by either extreme but right in the middle, where you can appreciate the kind ones but be guarded in case of those who aren't.
 
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MiserableGal

Active member
Joined
Apr 29, 2018
Messages
38
Location
India
Oh man. I am going through it right now. Someone I crush on, every interaction with him on Whatsapp is an opportunity for self-sabotage. I read too much into his pings. If he appears distant, I instantly think I have done something wrong and feel he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. This has become so bad that I now put on a mask of politeness and formality just so as to not potentially offend him. Not that this has helped me in anyway.
This was especially worse on Twitter where I went crazy reading into his tweets, comparing his tweets with another girl and thinking man they would be totally suitable for each other, should I introduce them? I just had to delete my account. But even now I keep thinking maybe I should get back on Twitter so that I can like his tweets. Anyone else experiences anxiety on social media? Is it advisable to wade into it considering it has proven harmful effects on mental health?
 
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Barcud_Coch

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
51
Location
UK
Remember: (assuming you've had previous CBT) We NEVER know what someone is thinking. We assume the worst because that's how we feel about ourselves. Think of all the reasons why someone might say something, good or bad. Then choose the most rational response. Often this is uncertainty. Choose kindness/niceness, if people love you their responses are usually better than you think internally.
(This all seems obvious, sadly I never remember this shit when I need to!)
 
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burn-it-down

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Messages
47
Location
Algiers
I do have BDP and paranoia, it's hard to leave. Just like you, i misinterprete (or maybe i'm right?) people's action then BPD with my dear overthinkig do the job. It feeds my "inner monster"
 
Deadheading

Deadheading

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
152
Thank you for the replies. More and more I'm convinced that I have BPD. It just makes a lot of sense.
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 19, 2016
Messages
2,993
i suffer from paranoia and bpd, its a deadly combination :scared:
 
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Candy19

Guest
mine is mild, but other times too much, when I get really paranoid especially when out I'll start seeing things and think someone is behind me even though nobody is there
 
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