• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Overwhelming sadness and feeling trapped.

J

jv41114

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2015
Messages
1
I have gotten into the habit of writing down my feelings as a coping mechanism of sorts. Recently I wrote the following in my journal and I feel it is the most concise entry to describe how I feel, generally:

I am one of lifes bad guys. I simply cannot atone for the lies I have told and the smut I have taken pleasure in watching. My smile belies the pain I must carry being an expert manipulator or truths. Harboring a faith in humanity is a lost idea to me, and it seems only just that I should exist in isolation. I have never felt so mentally pricked which is a cause for concern, alongside the urge to stare into space with increasing frequency.

Regarding the second sentence and the mention of smut refers to pornography. I have not indulged in months now, but fear I will return. I really do not wish for this to happen for I am aware of how unhealthy it is.

I have not been coping well generally and fear that soon there will be very little holding me back from letting go and doing something reckless.

For some background, I am a single young man working in a stressful blue-collar job.

I'm hoping someone can relate to what I have wrote.

Thank you for your time and I wish good health, and mental health to all.
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Hi jv41114.

Wanted to welcome you to the forum.
You say you are not coping well generally.
Have you tried to seek help, maybe a start by visiting your GP
Or do MIND have anything that could help

Www.mind.uk.org

The forum here is certainly a good place to come and write down how you feel, there is also a journal section if you were interested.
The forum has helped me, reading posts, replying to posts and generally getting to know more.
I wish you well.
Unique1 xx
 
Top