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Overwhelming sadness and feeling trapped.



New member
Aug 31, 2015
I have gotten into the habit of writing down my feelings as a coping mechanism of sorts. Recently I wrote the following in my journal and I feel it is the most concise entry to describe how I feel, generally:

I am one of lifes bad guys. I simply cannot atone for the lies I have told and the smut I have taken pleasure in watching. My smile belies the pain I must carry being an expert manipulator or truths. Harboring a faith in humanity is a lost idea to me, and it seems only just that I should exist in isolation. I have never felt so mentally pricked which is a cause for concern, alongside the urge to stare into space with increasing frequency.

Regarding the second sentence and the mention of smut refers to pornography. I have not indulged in months now, but fear I will return. I really do not wish for this to happen for I am aware of how unhealthy it is.

I have not been coping well generally and fear that soon there will be very little holding me back from letting go and doing something reckless.

For some background, I am a single young man working in a stressful blue-collar job.

I'm hoping someone can relate to what I have wrote.

Thank you for your time and I wish good health, and mental health to all.


Well-known member
Jan 27, 2015
Hi jv41114.

Wanted to welcome you to the forum.
You say you are not coping well generally.
Have you tried to seek help, maybe a start by visiting your GP
Or do MIND have anything that could help


The forum here is certainly a good place to come and write down how you feel, there is also a journal section if you were interested.
The forum has helped me, reading posts, replying to posts and generally getting to know more.
I wish you well.
Unique1 xx