C
cac1990
New member
I'm a 25 M, if that matters. I've always had trouble in social situations for as long as I can remember, but over the past five years or so, that's gone from me having just one or two friends to complete isolation, no matter how hard I try to break out of it.
Most of the time, I'm outright told I'm "too awkward" or "too weird" to be around. This has happened in multiple situations from work to school to even church and support groups. I'm not trying to be awkward but for whatever reason, I've come off to the large majority of people as awkward. I've never been able to figure out why despite nearly six years of therapy with three different professionals.
It's not for a lack of trying, I often try to put myself out there and meet people. I've joined church groups, gone to bars, sporting events, even internet meet-up things based around some common interest. I've either connected with no one despite approaching different people, or the group has outright asked me to leave because I'm too awkward. What's really pushed me over the edge was back in February of 2020, I was in a support group for social anxiety...and the leader of said group asked me to not participate anymore "because you're just too awkward."
I don't really know what to do at this point. I don't have any friends, my parents are not very understanding of anything related to mental health (every time I try to express my feelings to them, I usually get berated by my dad to just "get over it"). With COVID going on, I now work entirely from home, so I can't even go to work for some minimal social interaction. I haven't spoken to or texted anyone besides my therapist since July, other than various failed attempts to be social. It's gone from occasional feelings of isolation and sadness to severe and overwhelming feelings of loneliness and depression that seem like a crushing physical weight on me. I can't think of anyone who'd even be upset it I were to disappear, so suicide has really been on my mind lately. Mainly because it would end the overwhelming pain I'm feeling, and from my interactions with people including my family, I don't think they'd care that much either.
CAC
Most of the time, I'm outright told I'm "too awkward" or "too weird" to be around. This has happened in multiple situations from work to school to even church and support groups. I'm not trying to be awkward but for whatever reason, I've come off to the large majority of people as awkward. I've never been able to figure out why despite nearly six years of therapy with three different professionals.
It's not for a lack of trying, I often try to put myself out there and meet people. I've joined church groups, gone to bars, sporting events, even internet meet-up things based around some common interest. I've either connected with no one despite approaching different people, or the group has outright asked me to leave because I'm too awkward. What's really pushed me over the edge was back in February of 2020, I was in a support group for social anxiety...and the leader of said group asked me to not participate anymore "because you're just too awkward."
I don't really know what to do at this point. I don't have any friends, my parents are not very understanding of anything related to mental health (every time I try to express my feelings to them, I usually get berated by my dad to just "get over it"). With COVID going on, I now work entirely from home, so I can't even go to work for some minimal social interaction. I haven't spoken to or texted anyone besides my therapist since July, other than various failed attempts to be social. It's gone from occasional feelings of isolation and sadness to severe and overwhelming feelings of loneliness and depression that seem like a crushing physical weight on me. I can't think of anyone who'd even be upset it I were to disappear, so suicide has really been on my mind lately. Mainly because it would end the overwhelming pain I'm feeling, and from my interactions with people including my family, I don't think they'd care that much either.
CAC