- Sep 12, 2018
Hello... I am a new person here hoping for some understanding and I guess an outlet for my anxiety. Bit of back story.. I have suffered with anxiety in varying degrees now for about 7 years. I cant recall exactly when I started but I think it has gotten worse. I lost a few close family members in my late teens/early 20s, one being a parent. I managed to get on with life whilst it all happened but now I am getting older (31) I feel I'm less capable to deal with it. I often get episodes where I feel extreme sadness over my passed relatives. I feel almost breathless and overwhelmed at the thought of the reality that I will never have these people in my life again. I dwell on missed conversations or things I felt I should have done with them such as spending more time with them. My father and I had a almost non existant relationship towards the end of his life (he had alcohol problems) and I have been living with feelings of guilt for not doing more to help him (I was 18 at the time)...And now I am missing out on never getting to know him as an adult. Two of the passings were unexpected and 2 were terminal illnesses. I've found myself now to have extreme anxiety at family and friends and even my dog (I am very bonded with him) getting sick or dying. If some one around me is unwell I always think of the worse possibly senario and get myself into such a panic constantly checking if they are ok or conjuring up things in my head about what could be wrong in the very worse case. I worry about things that I know in a very minute part of my mind will likely never happen, but I still do it constantly. Some days I just sit blankly as I feel so exhausted from constant worry by the end of the day. Most nights I don't sleep well and I also don't eat alot when I feel at my worst. Does anyone here have any experience with suffering anxiety after loss? I feel like my extreme fear of losing people I love must stem from the deaths I have experienced? I just dont know. I'm sorry this was such an essay thank you for anyone who got this far.