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Overwhelmed

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Kesr21

New member
Joined
Sep 12, 2018
Messages
2
Hello... I am a new person here hoping for some understanding and I guess an outlet for my anxiety. Bit of back story.. I have suffered with anxiety in varying degrees now for about 7 years. I cant recall exactly when I started but I think it has gotten worse. I lost a few close family members in my late teens/early 20s, one being a parent. I managed to get on with life whilst it all happened but now I am getting older (31) I feel I'm less capable to deal with it. I often get episodes where I feel extreme sadness over my passed relatives. I feel almost breathless and overwhelmed at the thought of the reality that I will never have these people in my life again. I dwell on missed conversations or things I felt I should have done with them such as spending more time with them. My father and I had a almost non existant relationship towards the end of his life (he had alcohol problems) and I have been living with feelings of guilt for not doing more to help him (I was 18 at the time)...And now I am missing out on never getting to know him as an adult. Two of the passings were unexpected and 2 were terminal illnesses. I've found myself now to have extreme anxiety at family and friends and even my dog (I am very bonded with him) getting sick or dying. If some one around me is unwell I always think of the worse possibly senario and get myself into such a panic constantly checking if they are ok or conjuring up things in my head about what could be wrong in the very worse case. I worry about things that I know in a very minute part of my mind will likely never happen, but I still do it constantly. Some days I just sit blankly as I feel so exhausted from constant worry by the end of the day. Most nights I don't sleep well and I also don't eat alot when I feel at my worst. Does anyone here have any experience with suffering anxiety after loss? I feel like my extreme fear of losing people I love must stem from the deaths I have experienced? I just dont know. I'm sorry this was such an essay thank you for anyone who got this far.
 
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IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
:welcome: to the forum. I am extremely sorry about all your losses and anxiety. I would recommend therapy for you. Maybe even an anti depressant from a psychiatrist until you recover from the grief. You have my support. :hug:
 
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BanjosBackpack

New member
Joined
Sep 27, 2018
Messages
2
That's tough going, well done for sticking in there, and it can be for sure overwhelming. I lost my grandfather recently and I have no relationship with my parents. It's been very difficult and it topped it all off really. I have really difficult periods of anxiety and sadness now. From my experience o would suggest don't put a lot of pressure on yourself, take things little by little. Try to walk your dog (I'm close with mine too), just spend time around those you love and try to do enjoyable hobbies frequently. I usually play video games and exercise but lately I've found even thinking of exercise tough and playing games is hard to contemplate at times too. But bit by bit is the best method for me. Also try to adjust your lifestyle to take the pressure off. If you're working and it isn't helping, reduce your hours if you can or change role. I hope that helps? I really hope you feel better.
 
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Kesr21

New member
Joined
Sep 12, 2018
Messages
2
Thank you for your kind words. I am very sorry to of your grandfather and the grief you are going through. I hope your hobbies have been able to assist with taking your mind away from things at least some of the time. I have recently started getting up early before work to walk my dogs. I'm finding it really helps at its a quiet time of the morning and I also feel more settled when I go to work knowing that I have done something enjoyable for them so they wont be bored. I am also taking them on 5km walks 3 days a week which is helping me physcially and mentally also. I have recently started getting really into gardening which Im finding a great hobby as I can be outside and just focus on the job at hand it takes my mind off things. My next step is starting to eat better. Although my diet isnt too bad I think it could improve and perhaps help me also. I find my anxiety now is more situational.. for instance over the weekend my husband had a migraine. Which is unusual as I havent know him to suffer from them. My thoughts immediately went to the extremes of what if its something serious and I started to panic as I wasn't home. He assured me he was ok and this time I managed to actually stay out and continue what I was doing rather than fret and rush home which is a big step for me. I am learning to train myself in those situations to recall past incidents when I have panicked and the outcome of the situation (which is usually always totally fine) this is helping me feel a bit more able to be calm.
 
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Findingthelight101

Member
Joined
Sep 28, 2018
Messages
12
I feel a deep sense of calm by getting help with cbt therapy and meditations. This really helps me as well YouTube
 
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BanjosBackpack

New member
Joined
Sep 27, 2018
Messages
2
My pleasure, and thank you for yours. The grief is added to with a hostile wake from "family" who made it exponentially much harder than it should have been, unnecessarily. Its really tough and I've anxiety and depression on the back of it all. It sort of topped off things I already had to deal with which were tough enough. My hobbies do help but it's tough to enjoy them at the moment unfortunately. I am doing my best though and get glimpses of enjoyment at times.

I'm glad you're getting enjoyment from walking the dogs. It's great that you're even getting out to walk them, it's really courageous and a strong step forward. My dog helps me in similar ways. She helps me work through loneliness and even walking itself. I can end up just crying when walking in the forest and without her I don't know how I would do it. You've not only got out you've done a great distance too, that's really good.

Gardening I can imagine is good and if you're finding enjoyment from it all the better. I guess if you try to do more of those things, more nourishing than negative then you might start feeling stronger. A good friend gave me that advice. Even put things from life into the two columns and eliminate the negative stuff, making more time for the nourishing.

Diet definitely helps. I have a bit of a background in fitness and health so logically I know it will help. Nutrition and exercise go hand in hand in helping you to feel better but I understand it can be tough when you aren't feeling good. It's a vicious cycle. My advice is try to keep up your walking and make healthy meals that are easy to enjoy. Yogurt with fruit, vegetable soups etc are best. Basically don't put pressure on yourself. Take it bit by bit.

Going through anxiety myself at the moment I can relate to that. Its scary and it can be panic-inducing. You done very well in that situation. I'm not sure what more to advise at this time because I'm finding it pretty tough in that department myself. Again take it easy and work within your limitations for now. One thing that might help is asking, "what's the worst that could happen?" - within reason of course.

Keep going and take your time. Make adjustments to take pressure off as best you can. Don't feel you need to succumb to the demands of society. E.g working 9-5 if it isn't helping and perhaps 9-2 would take the pressure off and give you more time to recollect yourself after a day of it. I know myself anxiety can be very tiring and the next day almost insurmountable. Sorry for the late reply also. How are you?
 
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