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Overweight and feel like I’m being nagged

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Pixieb34

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2016
Messages
216
Location
England
Hi I am very overweight and a size 20 and 5 foot 3. I already lost a lot of weight to get down to size 20 as I was even bigger than this. I put on a ton of weight on the med seroquel. I was only a size ten when I went on it.
I am on a restricted calorie diet, which I know should be lower calories. I walk at least an hour a day. My problem is that even though I’m 40 my mum, who I see everyday even in lockdown( police approved my visits) as she needs shopping and various help, goes on about my weight all the time and then I feel stressed and actually binged a few times after a visit. If anyone fat comes on tv soaps she goes on about how awful they look.
I keep getting headaches, feeling incredibly stressed about my weight and then I can’t do my walking because of the headache ( need to lie in the dark with an ice pack on). I feel so repulsive and stressed. I Know I should stick to a lower calorie diet but I just can’t face a waking up each day and not having my calories to eat. food is all I look forward to. A few times I’ve purged myself but this didn’t help the scales to go down.
My mum doesn’t believe that seroquel can slow down my weight loss but I feel it does.
What I want to know is ; Does anyone else feel stressed or under pressure about their weight or am I totally overreacting?
 
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Rebeca1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 6, 2017
Messages
278
Hi I am very overweight and a size 20 and 5 foot 3. I already lost a lot of weight to get down to size 20 as I was even bigger than this. I put on a ton of weight on the med seroquel. I was only a size ten when I went on it.
I am on a restricted calorie diet, which I know should be lower calories. I walk at least an hour a day. My problem is that even though I’m 40 my mum, who I see everyday even in lockdown( police approved my visits) as she needs shopping and various help, goes on about my weight all the time and then I feel stressed and actually binged a few times after a visit. If anyone fat comes on tv soaps she goes on about how awful they look.
I keep getting headaches, feeling incredibly stressed about my weight and then I can’t do my walking because of the headache ( need to lie in the dark with an ice pack on). I feel so repulsive and stressed. I Know I should stick to a lower calorie diet but I just can’t face a waking up each day and food is all I look forward to. A few times I’ve Purged but this didn’t help the scales to go down.
My mum doesn’t believe that seroquel can slow down my weight loss but I feel it does.
What I want to know is ; Does anyone else feel stressed or under pressure about their weight or am I totally overreacting?
My mum gets on to me about my weight too and has rejected me. I used to be a size 10 but started with bulimia for about a year in part due to my mum calling me a fat cow but I wasn't fat but due to metabolic damage due to bulimia I've put on five stone and am now a size 18. My body went into starvation mode and now stores fat that won't sift. So please don't make yourself sick again it will only make it worse. I started watching freelee the banana girl on utube she is vegan, I lost half a stone been vegan but didn't keep it up and put the weight back on. It's a good diet tho. You must take vitamin B12 tho.
I'm sorry your mum puts you down about your weight I know how you feel. Don't let your mum ruin your life like my mum did me I'm totally unhealthy now due to bulimia.
I need to be vegan again half a stone is better than nothing but others have lost a lot more and kept it off.
Take care don't make yourself sick please.
 
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Nukelavee

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Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
1,581
Location
London, ON
I don't think you are over reacting. Bad enough you aren't happy with your size, worse when people actively make you feel worse about it.

Keep up the exercise, not simply as weight control, but to stay healthy in general.

I've always had the opposite issue, being really under weight. My meds have made me gain about 20 pounds in teh last two years - that's a lot for me. I had to deal with a lot of comments about my size and eating habits, too.

Don't worry about losing weight for others, do it because you want to. If you want to. Just, be as healthy as you can.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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May 6, 2017
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Sheffiield
I'm sorry you feel stressed and pressured to lose weight, I'm 40 too and put on quite a few stones after starting Olanzapine, because of the weight gain I was switched to Aripiprazole and Risperidone and the weight gain stopped but I can't seem to lose what I gained.

I believe the medication does effect our metabolism so losing weight is much harder for us but facing the prospect of another psychotic episode if I ever stopped taking the meds I'd rather keep the weight.

Nobody bar my obnoxious cousin has had a go at me (he often pokes me in the stomach whenever he sees me) and I had to upgrade my body type on my dating app from 'average' to 'a few extra pounds' but apart from that I'm fine with it.
 
Mario82

Mario82

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Joined
Apr 4, 2020
Messages
3,657
Location
UK
I've been drastically underweight as well as sort of overweight, as I am now. I don't feel that bad about it but would like to slim down although I have a pretty wide frame.

I'm sorry your mum does this to you, she sounds awful to do that tbh. I am sorry you're not happy with your weight but it doesn't change that you seem like a kind and clever person.
 
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Pixieb34

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2016
Messages
216
Location
England
My mum gets on to me about my weight too and has rejected me. I used to be a size 10 but started with bulimia for about a year in part due to my mum calling me a fat cow but I wasn't fat but due to metabolic damage due to bulimia I've put on five stone and am now a size 18. My body went into starvation mode and now stores fat that won't sift. So please don't make yourself sick again it will only make it worse. I started watching freelee the banana girl on utube she is vegan, I lost half a stone been vegan but didn't keep it up and put the weight back on. It's a good diet tho. You must take vitamin B12 tho.
I'm sorry your mum puts you down about your weight I know how you feel. Don't let your mum ruin your life like my mum did me I'm totally unhealthy now due to bulimia.
I need to be vegan again half a stone is better than nothing but others have lost a lot more and kept it off.
Take care don't make yourself sick please.
Thanks for your reply I am so sorry your mum did that to you! That’s really cruel. I won’t be sick again, thanks for warning me what can happen. I think you’re you are kind replying to me when you’re in a bad situation yourself.
 
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Pixieb34

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2016
Messages
216
Location
England
I've been drastically underweight as well as sort of overweight, as I am now. I don't feel that bad about it but would like to slim down although I have a pretty wide frame.

I'm sorry your mum does this to you, she sounds awful to do that tbh. I am sorry you're not happy with your weight but it doesn't change that you seem like a kind and clever person.
Thankyou so much your reply made me feel a lot better about myself x
 
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Pixieb34

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2016
Messages
216
Location
England
I don't think you are over reacting. Bad enough you aren't happy with your size, worse when people actively make you feel worse about it.

Keep up the exercise, not simply as weight control, but to stay healthy in general.

I've always had the opposite issue, being really under weight. My meds have made me gain about 20 pounds in teh last two years - that's a lot for me. I had to deal with a lot of comments about my size and eating habits, too.

Don't worry about losing weight for others, do it because you want to. If you want to. Just, be as healthy as you can.
Thanks I will keep up the exercise to be healthy. I am so sorry you’ve had to deal with comments about your size and eating habits. Your reply really helped me as I have no one to talk to about stuff. X
 
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Pixieb34

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2016
Messages
216
Location
England
I'm sorry you feel stressed and pressured to lose weight, I'm 40 too and put on quite a few stones after starting Olanzapine, because of the weight gain I was switched to Aripiprazole and Risperidone and the weight gain stopped but I can't seem to lose what I gained.

I believe the medication does effect our metabolism so losing weight is much harder for us but facing the prospect of another psychotic episode if I ever stopped taking the meds I'd rather keep the weight.

Nobody bar my obnoxious cousin has had a go at me (he often pokes me in the stomach whenever he sees me) and I had to upgrade my body type on my dating app from 'average' to 'a few extra pounds' but apart from that I'm fine with it.
Thanks, I believe that the meds slow my weight loss too. I’m glad you are fine with your weight, your cousin sounds a pest! I think you’re right about staying on meds being better than us suffering another psychotic episode. You sound very sensible and helpful x
 
Mario82

Mario82

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Joined
Apr 4, 2020
Messages
3,657
Location
UK
Thankyou so much your reply made me feel a lot better about myself x
No problem, you are welcome. It's not right of her to body shame you. Some people struggle to lose weight. Also, some women look good with the extra weight and some men like it so don't let that side of things get you down.
 
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Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
1,581
Location
London, ON
Thanks, I believe that the meds slow my weight loss too. I’m glad you are fine with your weight, your cousin sounds a pest! I think you’re right about staying on meds being better than us suffering another psychotic episode. You sound very sensible and helpful x
All of my current weight gain is due to my meds, to be honest. Anti-psychotics tend to have that side effect. At the same time, it's still worth the stable moods to deal with a bit of weight.
 
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TheNineteenSeventyFive

New member
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Messages
4
Location
England
My mum actually goes on at me for being too thin! Fact is that mums care a lot and they just want us to be healthy, I wouldn’t take it too personally, I’m sure you’re a beautiful person. Don’t judge yourself by how others perceive you :)
 
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Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
547
Location
U.S.
You need to stay away from your mom until you're ready to dismiss the things she says. Many people, especially those with ED's, have mother's like that.

If you can't stop seeing her, you need to speak up to her. You need to tell her to stop all of those things because they're triggering you. If she forgets and starts doing them, tell her again. Speak up....It's your life.

Regarding the headaches, it sounds like they could be migraines. Have you gone to doctor?
 
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Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
10,049
Location
Nowhere
yes what people have suggested

I find my family can sometimes damage my self esteem too
and I worked on this with therapists

now if I'm feeling nervous about a meeting
I might arrange to meet them in a coffee shop
or at a bench somewhere

I will have planned how long I will spend with them
and possibly who I'm going to phone afterwards

family expectations can be overwhelming

:grouphug: 🎼:flowers:🍀
 
Cravebone

Cravebone

New member
Joined
Jun 23, 2020
Messages
4
Location
United States
Maybe this has been answered already - but is your mother one to bring this to your attention negatively or does she provide support and explain to you that your weight gain is scaring her? My mother use to do this to me as well.. always made me feel bad about my weight, called me unattractive, asked me to put effort into the way I did my hair or makeup. Then I moved away from the toxicity and even then she still has something to say when I do choose to see her. If she's creating this stressful, and demotivating enviornment AND you have spoken to her about how you are feeling - perhaps you need to limit your interactions with her and explain why.
 
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