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Overanalyzing/pessimism/hypochondria

A

acp3500

New member
Joined
Apr 15, 2019
Messages
2
Location
atlanta
19m/6'0/145

I've dealt with depression & anxiety since i was 12 and convinced myself i had a brain tumor. This obviously led to health anxiety, which contributed to depression thinking i was dying. I eventually came to the discovery of anxiety and how it could likely be causing all my symptoms. Ever since then though i've been acutely aware of everything in my body and the health anxiety still flares up sometimes.

Lately off and on for the past couple months since i messed up my sleeping schedule once (but i've since fixed it) i just get randomly tired sometimes especially if i have to drive or read something with focus. I can see fine, but it's just that my eyes are now prone to get red ever since then..? so this lead to health anxiety about apnea, diabetes, etc. only causing it to be worse, and at this point i can't help but wonder if its anxiety or depression related. My dad has apnea but he's also overweight and snored terribly loud. I've never snored and if anything i'm underweight for my height, never woken up out of breath or anything. I play basketball and walk at least 12k steps everyday, workout, run, whatever. so it really bothers me when i get concerned about having something considering all that. Most of the time, i'm alright but it just kicks on and off, the only trigger i can point to is: staring at my computer when i do research, and driving.

I often get anxiety triggers from like loud unpleasant noises especially if its when i'm trying to sleep it makes me anxious that i won't be able to, or it also flares up when i get concerned about some health related thing. It seems like i just cycle through different hypochondria related issues. I sometimes become anxious about the future just because right now i'm trying to figure out what to do with my life and i feel pressure to find a career and secure an income. majoring in economics because i like finances, but i do not want to work corporately. I desperately want to work for myself or from home somehow. Because i'm an intj i also love learning stuff and hate finding something i dont know about. Physics, meteorology, fashion, tech, sports, anatomy, cars, law, you name it and i've researched it, partially why its hard for me to pick a career.

I also feel like at this point im never going to date anyone or get married. i've taken online classes since 9th grade and so most of my dating has been online aside from a couple. And now, i think im losing my hair (which triggers more health anxiety) which i guess is probably pattern baldness since my dad had it too but it's just early. So i guess you'd qualify this as hopelessness and my mind just races. So i can't help but wonder why am i here? am i just gonna be a bunch of wasted potential who goes bald and lives with his parents forever and develops apnea at age 20?



i know this is broad i just wanted to include everything.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
9,506
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Are you getting professional help for your health anxiety? Cant remember seeing if you said in your post, I'm not great at reading long paragraphs :redface:sorry :hug:

and welcome to the forum :welcome:lovely to meet you :)
 
A

acp3500

New member
Joined
Apr 15, 2019
Messages
2
Location
atlanta
not really, i've just had one checkup in october and they were basically like "why are you here? you good"
 
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