- May 18, 2019
I was wondering if anyone over eats so they will be left alone sexually? I had a bad experience years ago, not quite rape but it terrified me. After I didnt want anyone to ever come near me again so I thought I should be as unattractive as possible. Stopped wearing make up, stopped dying my hair, started wearing baggy clothes and ate even when I didnt want to because I thought it would repel men. Now I have gained several stone, find myself disgusting but dont want to lose it because it makes me feel safer, I never get approached by men now and I like that. But on a personal level I feel disgusted with myself because its unnecessary to be this big, I find myself disgusting. I used to be a healthy weight and was happy I was being responsible for my health. I just cant win either way now.