Over eating

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Confused2019

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#1
I was wondering if anyone over eats so they will be left alone sexually? I had a bad experience years ago, not quite rape but it terrified me. After I didnt want anyone to ever come near me again so I thought I should be as unattractive as possible. Stopped wearing make up, stopped dying my hair, started wearing baggy clothes and ate even when I didnt want to because I thought it would repel men. Now I have gained several stone, find myself disgusting but dont want to lose it because it makes me feel safer, I never get approached by men now and I like that. But on a personal level I feel disgusted with myself because its unnecessary to be this big, I find myself disgusting. I used to be a healthy weight and was happy I was being responsible for my health. I just cant win either way now.
 
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Fallingfromthetop

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#2
I think this is tragic but I totally understand.

To try be constructive. There are probably more factors involved in the event prior then just body size that could maybe made you avoid it. Is change of body size really the most logical solution? I mean there are other factors that can make you safer in everyday life. I think being fat can work but so could being fit, don't use drugs with people you don't know really, really well and trust 1000%, don't be alone out at night etc. Long term being fat will give you all sorts of problems, from sleeping worse to higher risk of injuries and list grows long.
 
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Confused2019

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#3
Just to clarify, this incident happened with someone I'd known awhile, I was not drunk or taken any drugs.
 
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Fallingfromthetop

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#4
I known a lot of people a long while and I don't trust most of them.

Its not criticism, I just try and be constructive.
 
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Confused2019

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#5
Also I know gaining weight is not the right thing to do, I just wanted to know if anyone else had done it for the same reasons and if they managed to stop.
 
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Fallingfromthetop

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#6
I don't have experience. I have down played myself to be more safe, its a shame we gotta do it to feel safe but the world can be like so.

I think stopping in your case is tied to trying to overcome the fear of getting in trouble. Its your choice. What I meant in my first post is that there are a lot of other things you can do to be and feel safe other then make sure you are fat. And that fat also doesn't mean you will be free from trouble. But it depends of course what feels easier and what feels the least as a sacrifice. I'm just taking an example and not meaning you do just that, but maybe you rather go out toa club as fat and don't have to bother with looks and idiotic male behavior then try check all the other boxes on a long list to feel safe under such circumstance while fit and slim.

Personally I rather sit home feeling good about my body then being out feeling safe in my body. But we prioritize differently. Cause home at least for me is super safe.

I totally get that fat can be the easier out. In the end its your choice, neither is easy. And its sad that we gotta do things like this to cope with life.
 
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write

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#7
You aren't alone in this.I feel for you and understand. My situation slightly different but subconsciously I was doing what you have consciously been doing. I don't believe it's about doing the right or wrong thing to do, it is a way of coping that an spiral. Abuser told me I'd be quite attractive if I lost weight, decades ago. I went on to develop binge eating disorder - BED, alongside several other trauma related labels, and am still morbidly obese. I am though now a lot less fat than I was as I exercise a LOT as it helps my head, controls some of my ptsd stuff and helps me feel better. I still can't shake off what he said or what happened. I hope therapy can help, but I've been hoping that for decades too...
Is so hard to change, to think and feel differently about these things, are you talking to anyone about this? If you find the right person it may help? xx
 
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geordielass

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#8
I didn't overeat due to avoid sexual things. But I did overeat due due to a lot of anxiety and not dealing with emotions. I did find these tutorials super helpful for dealing with the root causes of my overeating. I'd really recommend them she deals with the emotional side of these things instead of the external reasons
 
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Confused2019

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#9
You aren't alone in this.I feel for you and understand. My situation slightly different but subconsciously I was doing what you have consciously been doing. I don't believe it's about doing the right or wrong thing to do, it is a way of coping that an spiral. Abuser told me I'd be quite attractive if I lost weight, decades ago. I went on to develop binge eating disorder - BED, alongside several other trauma related labels, and am still morbidly obese. I am though now a lot less fat than I was as I exercise a LOT as it helps my head, controls some of my ptsd stuff and helps me feel better. I still can't shake off what he said or what happened. I hope therapy can help, but I've been hoping that for decades too...
Is so hard to change, to think and feel differently about these things, are you talking to anyone about this? If you find the right person it may help? xx
Thanks, I am trying to address it now.
 
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Confused2019

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#10
Thanks, I'll take a look :)
I didn't overeat due to avoid sexual things. But I did overeat due due to a lot of anxiety and not dealing with emotions. I did find these tutorials super helpful for dealing with the root causes of my overeating. I'd really recommend them she deals with the emotional side of these things instead of the external reasons
 

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