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Out of work partner



New member
Jun 20, 2009
Hi all,

I just wanted a few people's thoughts as to how I should proceed. I live with my boyfriend of 5 years in a house we own and January just gone he was made redundant. Like many others have felt in this position, it hit him hard. However, he bounced back and started looking for a job after a few weeks.

Around this time, I fell out with my manager at work and had been thinking of leaving, but I thought it best to stay in my job otherwise we would lose the house etc.

It's now been nearly 5 months and my boyfriend hasn't even had an interview. He tells me that he applies for jobs, but when I get home every evening, he's playing computer games or watching TV. Now that I am paying for everything, he appears to have gotten used to it. We argue about this every so often, but I try not to bring it up because I understand that it's not easy being unemployed, especially with the recession. However, when I ask him what jobs he's applied for, he's very vague and gets angry if I try to press him for more information.

I used to be a recruitment consultant so I have offered to tidy up his CV and show him techniques on looking for work, but he shuns me away and gets angry. He says he doesn't need help. My boyfriend is not skilled in any particular job, so the job market is tough for someone like him.

Anyway, I know many of you are going through the same problem, but I don't know how much more I can take. After all the bills, mortgage etc. I have no money and I hate my job. I feel so depressed sometimes that I make excuses not to come home and wander around for hours. I have tried to be understanding with my boyfriend, but now I feel like he is taking advantage of me. He refuses to apply for local supermarket jobs etc. This morning, I told him that I no longer want to pay for everything. Somehow I thought by telling him that he NEEDS to find a job would make him up his game and *really* start looking for work. Of course, I will continue to pay for everything - I was just trying to get him to take things seriously. He didn't like that and now he's probably not going to talk to me all weekend.

I feel helpless and trapped. Please, someone give me some advice?




Well-known member
Jul 30, 2008

go and live with your parents for a fortnight that will sort him out

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