Out of steam

[no_energy]

For many years I didn’t realise that I had depression. I didn’t even want to say the name as it felt like a terminally ill disease. Here I am talking about it. I’ve never been to a doctor or took any drugs yet but I’ve reached to a tipping point in my life. I am 33 year old good looking male that haven’t been in a relationship for 8 years, hasn’t had sex for 3 and practically living on my own as for various different reasons I “fell out” with my closest friends (during the last 10 years).

I know I am self diagnosed depressed but it doesn’t take a genius to find that: I’ve been going in cycles of low mood, to severe episodes (crying with no reason, overeating until I feel pain, feeling worthless, sighing all the time, watch TV all day, avoiding social interactions, having chest pains, feeling that my life is pointless and wasted etc – the list I have is endless).

The reason I haven’t been to a GP yet is that I cannot see myself going to a roving GP (we don’t have the same doctors in our surgery) to talk about depression. The thought of talking to someone who is not qualified but has the power to suggest puts me off. I wish I could go straight to a psychiatrist without having to pay a fortune (since I am trying to pay my debt) and get an expert opinion. In addition, I don’t like the idea of the GP taking notes that then can be shown to any prospective future employer.

I’ve tried many different things on my own with a degree of success in some cases.St Johns wart (the only drug over the counter), meditation, reiki, yoga. They worked for a while but my biggest problem was sticking with their routine. I’ve run three marathons in two years and I was in a top fit state. Depression took hold of me and now I am borderline obese with no friends.

I don’t know what next. I want to do one step. One tiny step that will give me the confidence. Something. Anything...

 

[*Sapphire*]

Hi no energy and to the forum.

Most GPs these days are very aware of depression, so I wouldn't be put off by going there based on your own assumptions. Sometimes when you are depressed your feelings about a situation can be so overwhelming that they almost appear to be fact. However this may not neccessarily be the case. You haven't been yet for this issue, so you really don't know what the response might be. One in four people in the UK suffer with a mental health illness at some point in their lives and depression is the main diagnosis, so I am sure they are well versed in that area.

Whatever a GP suggests you don't have to take up. Ultimately the decision is up to you, so it might be worth seeing what they suggest at the very least.
Many GPs have a counsellor attached which offer a free service. It might be worth seeing if you can get a referral to talk about your feelings and experiences if you don't want to take medication. Sometimes medication is not always the first or the best option. They might offer both of those therapies at the same time, or make a referral to a psychiatrist to see if there is anything else they can offer.

With regards to seeing a psychiatrist if you live in the UK a referral and any appointments you get will be free of charge if it is through the NHS.

With regards to a future employer seeing notes, they have no right to, unless it is going to affect your future employment in an adverse way. This is usually only done if you are getting a job in the health care profession or possibly with children. Plus all they should see is your diagnosis and possibly symptoms, they will have no access to any personal conversations you may have had. There are strict rules regarding confidentiality concerning this. Plus if an employer wants to see a report from your GP they legally have to get a written consent by you, which is signed and dated by you. They can not do it behind your back. And they have to ask you if you would like a copy of your GPs report BEFORE they receive it so that you can discuss with your GP whether what is written is appropriate or true, you can have some influence on what they see.

It is good to try alternative therapies but as you have described they often take alot of dedication, motivation and time to have an effect. Often the effects are not as immediate as people would like, and with depression it is so hard to keep going with it.

I think taking small steps with the aspects of your life you are unhappy with is one way to go. Because in my opinion if you see them all as one big problem, when you are depressed it can seem so overwhelming and then puts you off trying anything.

So if you are overeating, then perhaps try reducing your diet, or eating healthier alternatives a tiny bit day by day, not all in one go. Perhaps adjust your breakfast at first then other meals/snacks as you get used to it.

With regards to exercise perhaps try taking a ten minute walk each day for example and build it up from there with five minute increments. Or increase any activity you do a tiny bit day by day.

There are alot of different things people have tried with varying success listed on this forum under previous threads, it might be worth having a look through and seeing if some appeal. I think the tip with trying different things is not to give up trying, you will find some things will suit you better than others.

I hope that helps in some way. There are alot of people on this site including myself who have had similar experiences, I hope you find this a supportive and helpful place to be.

 

[quality factor]

Hi no energy and to the forum.
You have made a positive step forward by seeking support here to begin with.
I agree, seek advice from your GP or you could approach your local Community Mental Health Team (CMHT).
Hopefully with professional advice you will be able to make adjustments to your daily routine gradually, and improve at a steady, positive pace that you feel comfortable with.

Good luck, keep posting,
QF.