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New member
Jun 8, 2018
Hi everyone.

I am a 24 year old male, born, raised and currently living in Brazil and I am hoping that I can find help here.
Below is some context for what I've been struggling with, I would be immensely grateful for any of you who read it.

Since a young age,

I’ve struggled with chronic insomnia, depression and mild-suicidal behaviour.
I tried to get help when I was 15 from a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist here in which I was prescribed antidepressants and sleeping pills.
While both helped my condition slightly during the first few weeks, the side effects soon started to make my mental health worse.
In particular, my insomnia got much worse.
We tried higher and higher dosages, but my symptoms only continued to get worse.
This continued for a year and a half, until I finally canceled the appointments.

Although there was a small improvement with my insomnia after quitting the medication, it's still something I struggle with today.
With very few options for help, I had to try to get used to both the insomnia and depression.
Things got worse two years ago, when I started to suffer from depersonalisation.
The most basic daily chores became increasingly hard to do, and my insomnia continued to get worse.
All of this eventually built up to an episode where, after losing control of my limbs and feeling my heart rate rise dramatically, I fainted on the stairs of my home.
Similar episodes have repeated since then, with daily moments of severe nausea eventually becoming a part of the symptoms as well.
On some days, it lasts only 2 hours. Other times, it lasts the entire day, making most actions a struggle for me.

All of this coincided with a drop in my mental abilities as well, with speech in my native language feeling numb and frequent memory loss.
Rarely, I'll hear voices in my head now as well.
The only thing I've been able to do to help myself is trying to go for daily walks when my health allows it, though this only helps a little and only for a few hours.
The most recent development are troubles with eating troubles eating.
No matter what or when I eat, I feel the urge to throw up and severe stomach pain after eating.

Unfortunately, I've exhausted my options here for professional help and have been unemployed for more than a year.
Although I'm still able to live with my parents, the social stigma surrounding both that and my illness itself has made relying on my relatives impossible.
I've also been left with very few friends, mostly just the people who have stayed in contact with me after college.
One of them from the United States recommended that I try writing here to try to find options outside of what's here in Brazil.

To anyone who took the time to read this post, thank you for your efforts and for any insight you can provide.


:welcome: to the forum. Please see a doctor for you physical problems as they sound severe. Please try different mental health medications too. I hope you get better. Lemme know how it goes. :hug:


Jun 4, 2018
Hi mate, I'm glad you have reached out for help on here. I have only just joined as well.

I would definitely recommend going to see your doctor and getting an overall health check, physical as well as mental. It sounds as though you need to be on some type of medication, one that works for you, also giving it time to work as well. Antidepressants play havoc with your brains chemicals at first and this needs time to settle down. The first antidepressants I was prescribed took about 2 months to start working correctly. Also, if you can't eat make sure you're drinking plenty of water.

I hope this is of some help to you. I am really struggling at the moment too, we all know the pain of depression all too well, you are not alone. I know depression is the loneliest of illnesses but please take some hope from this, that there is treatment that will work for you.

Take care.
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