Other people's pain

maxitab

maxitab

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Are other folks with BPD as sensitive as I seem to be to other's pain?

Not only do I react to my own emotion I react to everyone else's too....do you? Is this me or is it common?

Er, I mean of course that I react much more than the average person. Everyone is moved by what they witness.....
 
amathus

amathus

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goodness knows!
Are other folks with BPD as sensitive as I seem to be to other's pain?

Not only do I react to my own emotion I react to everyone else's too....do you? Is this me or is it common?

Er, I mean of course that I react much more than the average person. Everyone is moved by what they witness.....

I was having a conversation about exactly these points with another BPD sufferer recently and we concurred on them instantly.
It was almost a relief to find somebody else who had the same experiences.

I have always had difficulty with the strength of my emotion both to other people and situations.

I find group situations difficult because I take on everybody elses sensitivities and worries.

I have been told many times that I am quite astute.

I tend to 'live' other folks' troubles and anxieties with them.


Is this a good or bad thing?


qf.
 
sallyG

sallyG

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im exactly the same..when other people are having hard times i tend to feel their emotions as well as my own.I cried when my daughter and her boyfriend split up..and i didnt particularly like the said boyfriend but because he was crying it set me off and i felt his pain.
very odd.
 
blacktulip

blacktulip

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Ye same here, i am very sensitive to other peoples emotions and pain and always feel like i want to be able to 'fix them' to take some of their pain away, im like an emotional sponge
 
maxitab

maxitab

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God you guys are amazing! Thank you! It's so good to know I am not the only emotional sponge round here......

Basket of kittens...I cry.
Naff movie with goofy emotional scene...I cry
Someone has good news?...I cry!
Someone has bad news?....I howl.

Fortunately I know myself well enough now that it is mostly only momentary, but I NEVER watch the news and there are some subjects I cannot read about or even have talked about in my presence as these bring on a very intense reaction.

I am also amazing at picking up the unconscious signals of emotion in others and too have been called astute/insightful and even psychic....and I can cry over someone/thing I don't like as well.....

It is supposed to be an inheritable trait, this extreme emotional response....quicker and more intense reactions and slower to calm than the reat of the population.


Do you love it or hate it or just accept it? Are there any benefits to it?
 
maxitab

maxitab

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Oh yes, you better believe it, and how!!!!! We are the emotional litmus paper in any situation!
 
Andrewbpd

Andrewbpd

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i cry for other people and cry for my self. BPD is a very emotionaly driven condition.
but i can see it as BPE (borderline personality enhansments) we feel more so we must
be a better person.
 
maxitab

maxitab

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Someone I know wanted us to rebrand ourselves as 'extraordinary people'. I have never been ordinary, not that I remember!
 
Andrewbpd

Andrewbpd

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exacly my point who wants to be normal
what is normal???????????
maybe a robot is normal.
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

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I've spent my entire life wishing I were normal in any respect and I seem to get further from that goal as I get older.
 
raven

raven

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I'm like the rest of you with BPD. I feel emotions from others especially negative emotions like sadness and pain. I used to tell friends "I feel your pain" and I'd get weird looks. I now know why I'm different.

raven
 
C

cfb107

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Wow I just read this thread - been thinking about posting something similar myself. My friends' troubles bother me so much. I want to fix it all! I'm not very good at waiting for / trusting them to fix it themselves. I want to go in and tell them what to do. I'm sure a lot of non-BPD people can relate to that - but the fact that I CAN'T go in & fix it REALLY bothers me. I can't let it go when a friend is in an unhappy situation. I worry and worry and discuss it neverendingly. Does anyone else get this? I need to learn how to let peoples' problems go, but have no idea where to start!
 
Pixie37

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Yeah maxi i'm like a sponge. Supersensitive to everything. I used to help/try to fix people too much. But i have learned not to get so involved. Help a wee bit and then back off a bit.
 
maxitab

maxitab

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One of the reasons I can allow myself to get over involved in other's dramas is because I could not fix my family, I was too young, too overcome with coping and surviving. It sometimes feels as if I am going to die if I don't wade in and help when my friends are suffering and I can get quite desperate about it.

You are right Pixie, do a bit than back off.....
 
C

cfb107

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One of the reasons I can allow myself to get over involved in other's dramas is because I could not fix my family, I was too young, too overcome with coping and surviving. It sometimes feels as if I am going to die if I don't wade in and help when my friends are suffering and I can get quite desperate about it.
Exactly... very well put M! I can't bear to see people trapped in suffering they can help themselves out of, because it takes me back to that feeling of being trapped. So ultimately it's about saving myself...not them.
 
A

Ainsworth

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Someone I know wanted us to rebrand ourselves as 'extraordinary people'. I have never been ordinary, not that I remember!
nor me, hightened, emotional, in sync with others....................or another planet as some tell me

its a gift but also a curse. feeling yours and everyone elses emotions as pain can take alot from you as a person
 
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