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calypso

calypso

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Before anyone says, "You are lucky to get anything from services" please don't! I'm not in the mood.

I have a psychiatric OT coming on Wednesday and I am dreading it. Every time I ask for help, I get one of these clowns. Its because I am on the Recovery Team and they are desperate to get me off the acute team's books (6 years with acute team).

I know I come over as together, but trust me, I'm not. But since the hallucinations stopped, evidently, I'm better!! I am stronger and I have worked very hard to get my life back, so when I ask for help, I don't need a person turning up and saying, "What do you want?" I don't bloody well know. Then they fill in a report, and last time it said, "Uncooperative". I wasn't, I just said I didn't know. I saw the report when I asked to read my notes.

For those who think I am lucky to have services pay attention at all, well no. Its a paper exercise so they can report back to some State committee that they are implementing this new NICE rule or other. They don't actually do anything but get paid by our taxes to do nothing.

I rang up for help after getting lots of very specific suicide images invading my day and sleep. I don't want to commit suicide, but I was told to report anything like this, as I was high risk for a very long time. They still don't trust me with a month's worth of meds at a time. But now I am told I am just reacting to not being under the acute team - again. I mean, how narcissistic of the psych team is that? You know, I don't get symptoms of distress just to piss them off, or to get attention. I struggle to ask for attention at the best of times.

Pissed off! What can I ask for? A couple of weeks on a sun drenched beach maybe.....:whistle:
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

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Hopefully it is just enough to be able to talk with somebody, whatever the content x
 
V

VintageRabbit

Guest
I hope you have a good out come
This time. I know how unnerving the
Meetings with teams can be. I hope that
They listen, and see all the progress you
Have made......I know what it's like to
Not be heard.......:sorry:
Let us know how it goes.

X
 
T

tiltawhirl3

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(((((hugs)))))

When I moved states a few years ago, at first all I could get was govt funded and regulated care. It was useless and totally infuriating. I did write them some angry letters but it just made things worse.

Not a popular thing to say but I like being able to get private care, they have to deliver as it is market driven.

wishing you all the best.
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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I would never say you are lucky to get any help from services at all. What is the point of it if it is so rubbish?

They just sound like total wankers. I am sorry I can't contribute anything more useful than that but I feel for you, I really do. It sounds like they are playing head games and you are at the brunt of it unable to win no matter what you do.

I am sorry they are treating you this way and sorry they are not offering you constructive help:hug1:
 
tabbykitten

tabbykitten

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sounds like Psych OT is definitely not the right approach for your needs. How frustrating. They should still be offering some sort of constructive help though even if they think, wrongly, that you are moving on and into recovery.
 
calypso

calypso

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Thank you all for the replies.

Well he came and was quite intelligent and kind, with a student. But, after they asked me endlessly about my religion - (I get so pissed off having to talk about it), they said I came over as competent, able, powerful, confident and strong - their words. I told them that I was all that, I had always been like that, I was like that even when in the mental hospital. The day after my husband died, I went for meds in the morning and asked the nurse about his date the day before. I don't show emotions well.

I also don't know how I am feeling so I go by what I am doing. If I can't do things the usual way, eg cook a meal and get muddled, I look at myself. I haven't been able to knit or do all kinds of things, so I think I am not really coping. But my house is clean, my clothes are OK etc. But I can't get out of bed yet wake up often, I am not feeling hungry much at all, I don't have energy, but I can go to a pub and teach a lot of people all about Wicca easily.

So am I OK? Trouble is, I have no idea. I may be, I might not be, I can't tell. I am isolated and don't know what I am doing with my life at all. Tiltawhirl, I can't go privately, I can't afford that, I wish I could. I don't want to take services away from those who need it, but I certainly don't see why me being articulate and intelligent should mean they don't see how I am feeling. Maybe I expect too much. Thoughts of suicide are with me always, including visions of how to do it, and even feeling the sensations. But I don't want to commit suicide - you see my problem? See their problem?
 
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