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Opinions? Could I have borderline personality disorder?

Jahjah

Jahjah

New member
Joined
Jun 1, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Wales
Hoping someone with bpd can let me know if they go through similar or anyone who knows about it can give me their opinion my dad mentioned last year he believes I may have it and finally going to doctors tomorrow and mention it hopefully get a serious diagnosis...

my name is J.
I have stuggled with mental health since around 11 onwards
I have been to countless doctors
I have been diagnosed with anxiety/depression but a lot of symptoms I believe match up with borderline personality disorder.
Tried lots of medication etc...

Firstly I have had a history of trauma since young and a lot of different things still impact me today and find it hard to cope and not hang on to the past (which I really do want behind me) but believe reason I can’t is because I still haven’t dealt with a lot of what’s in my mind.

I am very Impulsive and has at times caused me problems in life, I don’t think things through or if I do decide to change my mind but can’t because I’ve already had the impulse.

I have the most manic moods when I do get stressed/upset/anxious and often verbally attack whoever is closest to me without realising how mean I’m being I can scream and throw things or sometime I try not to let it out and if I feel like I’m going to reach that point I will hit myself very hard because I can’t cope with the pain that’s inside me

or I will be severely depressed and tell ppl who are close to me I want to die which is not nice and hate myself for it I feel like I’m trying to get help and am scared because of how impulsive I am and how low i get at times.

one of the biggest signs I may have bpd for me is that I do see people in very back and white. I either think you’re amazing or nasty person. No invetween. It’s hard because I can judge people as bad even though I don’t know them vice versa. When I say I see everything as either black or white that’s even with even my own family. they can be the best and really love me or if they hate me and are sick of me and want me to leave them alone.

I am attached to people too quick and find it hard to be alone, I struggle in social situations at times and will go through conversations I have had blaming myself for things I might have done wrong or thinking someone said something to deliberately hurt me.

I feel really bad for the way I am and don’t want to be toxic/affect people negatively and hope I will change I try really hard to not let the way I am effect myself or people that’s why I think it may be a personality disorder
Deep down I am a kind and helpful human I think my mental health just get in the way :(

anyone’s opinions will greatly be appreciated and just want to talk to others about it

also think I might have a sort of PTSD and cant cope with sudden loud noises from people (doesn’t even have to be that loud) my anxiety goes the the roof and go into defence mode even if there is no danger???
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
3,404
Location
London, ON
It sounds like it could be, but - I'm not a doctor, I can't actually say yes or no.

You really need to talk to a doctor about it.

At the same time, if you have those issues, we're glad to listen and maybe see if we can offer you insight based on our experiences.
 
Jahjah

Jahjah

New member
Joined
Jun 1, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Wales
Okay thank you, I understand yes I will be speaking to a doctor about it thank you for your time also :)

I understand nobody can diagnose me only professional I just wanted to share and see if these things are normal or if people with bpd can relate or If I need seek help so thank you and hopefully things will Improve ⭐
 
introverted_drummer

introverted_drummer

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Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
374
Location
Massachusetts, USA
one of the biggest signs I may have bpd for me is that I do see people in very back and white. I either think you’re amazing or nasty person. No invetween. It’s hard because I can judge people as bad even though I don’t know them vice versa. When I say I see everything as either black or white that’s even with even my own family. they can be the best and really love me or if they hate me and are sick of me and want me to leave them alone.

I am attached to people too quick and find it hard to be alone, I struggle in social situations at times and will go through conversations I have had blaming myself for things I might have done wrong or thinking someone said something to deliberately hurt me.
These things in particular sound exactly like me...
Like others have said, we can't diagnose you, but we can offer advice and suggestions as well as personal experiences.
I am not diagnosed with BPD; I am diagnosed with complex PTSD, but I have a lot of BPD traits as well. Those disorders can present similarly though.
Hopefully your talk with your doctor will be productive and you can get some answers as to what's actually going on. I wish you the best of luck! :hug:
 
P

pigeons

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Feb 19, 2017
Messages
37
Sounds like bpd
 
LittleMissNameless

LittleMissNameless

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Mar 2, 2019
Messages
736
Location
canada
I hate this. People are gonna call me mean or whatever but don't self diagnose being on the bpd thread asking people with bpd if they can confirm what you think is limiting too you. You need a real diagnosis and getting the wrong one can do alot of damage. I dislike it when people come here and ask us this because yea we can see ourselves in it but to be honest most of us can see ourselves in anyone if we want to. I'm sorry your struggeling and you deserve to be helped but pplease don't limit yourself or your doctor.
 
P

pigeons

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Feb 19, 2017
Messages
37
Most people dont actually get diagnosed
 
P

pigeons

Active member
Joined
Feb 19, 2017
Messages
37
I hate this. People are gonna call me mean or whatever but don't self diagnose being on the bpd thread asking people with bpd if they can confirm what you think is limiting too you. You need a real diagnosis and getting the wrong one can do alot of damage. I dislike it when people come here and ask us this because yea we can see ourselves in it but to be honest most of us can see ourselves in anyone if we want to. I'm sorry your struggeling and you deserve to be helped but pplease don't limit yourself or your doctor.
Most people dont actually get diagnosed
 
LittleMissNameless

LittleMissNameless

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Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
736
Location
canada
Most people dont actually get diagnosed
Then what's the point? A diagnosis gives you a plan without one its literally just an empty label. Theres no point in just picking a mental illness label like its fashion.
In my opinion it does nobody any good.
 
P

pigeons

Active member
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Messages
37
I was glad when i got diagnosed not like you saved me
 
LittleMissNameless

LittleMissNameless

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Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
736
Location
canada
I want to clarify my thoughts and get back on track. I'm not saying you do or don't have bpd I'm just saying don't limit yourself to 1 possible diagnosis. Bpd has a high comorbidity rate but it also looks like lots of things. I think going to a forum to ask a specific subset of people to reaffirm what you think can possibly limit you. Like you could think you have bpd and be set on it when your doctor could have other suggestions. That's all I'm saying and I don't think it came across in my post. I hope you get the help you need and feel better.
 
P

PAIGE

Member
Joined
Jun 7, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Telford
Hoping someone with bpd can let me know if they go through similar or anyone who knows about it can give me their opinion my dad mentioned last year he believes I may have it and finally going to doctors tomorrow and mention it hopefully get a serious diagnosis...

my name is J.
I have stuggled with mental health since around 11 onwards
I have been to countless doctors
I have been diagnosed with anxiety/depression but a lot of symptoms I believe match up with borderline personality disorder.
Tried lots of medication etc...

Firstly I have had a history of trauma since young and a lot of different things still impact me today and find it hard to cope and not hang on to the past (which I really do want behind me) but believe reason I can’t is because I still haven’t dealt with a lot of what’s in my mind.

I am very Impulsive and has at times caused me problems in life, I don’t think things through or if I do decide to change my mind but can’t because I’ve already had the impulse.

I have the most manic moods when I do get stressed/upset/anxious and often verbally attack whoever is closest to me without realising how mean I’m being I can scream and throw things or sometime I try not to let it out and if I feel like I’m going to reach that point I will hit myself very hard because I can’t cope with the pain that’s inside me

or I will be severely depressed and tell ppl who are close to me I want to die which is not nice and hate myself for it I feel like I’m trying to get help and am scared because of how impulsive I am and how low i get at times.

one of the biggest signs I may have bpd for me is that I do see people in very back and white. I either think you’re amazing or nasty person. No invetween. It’s hard because I can judge people as bad even though I don’t know them vice versa. When I say I see everything as either black or white that’s even with even my own family. they can be the best and really love me or if they hate me and are sick of me and want me to leave them alone.

I am attached to people too quick and find it hard to be alone, I struggle in social situations at times and will go through conversations I have had blaming myself for things I might have done wrong or thinking someone said something to deliberately hurt me.

I feel really bad for the way I am and don’t want to be toxic/affect people negatively and hope I will change I try really hard to not let the way I am effect myself or people that’s why I think it may be a personality disorder
Deep down I am a kind and helpful human I think my mental health just get in the way :(

anyone’s opinions will greatly be appreciated and just want to talk to others about it

also think I might have a sort of PTSD and cant cope with sudden loud noises from people (doesn’t even have to be that loud) my anxiety goes the the roof and go into defence mode even if there is no danger???
I am going through very similar. I understand how you feel. The pain is so intense. I had a very abusive childhood & my first long term relationship was violent & controlling. My dad has also got BPD, I’ve found it can sometimes be genetic. I’m currently in the middle of figuring myself out, but it sounds incredibly like me. The symptoms you’ve got relate to BPD. It’s hard to explain to people why you do what you do when you’re trying to understand it yourself. When I have attacks or I feel impulsive the advice I have had is to keep reminding yourself that it won’t last and I’ve forced myself to let it pass it’s course until I’m calm. The pain is unbelievably intense & unbearable. It’s hard to talk to anyone who hasn’t gone through it, things other people wouldn’t get upset & angry over are the same things that is the end of the world to me & I feel things twice as much as other people. I can’t say I know exactly but our situations are very similar, I hope you find the help you need to feel better.
 
H

HappyHurtsSometimes

Active member
Joined
Jun 12, 2020
Messages
44
Location
Ottawa Lake mi
Sounds extremely similar to me. I have angry outbursts for the smallest things and sometimes I hurt myself. My fiance took away all my kitchen implements because she got tired of always seeing new injuries all over me. Even tho I have no reason to I often get scared that she's going to leave me or cheat on me. I had a really hard childhood growing up. My dad liked to hit me alot and call me worthless, stupid, a waste of a life etc. I have really horrible self esteem issues and I too see people in black and white. Sometimes I look at someone and just decide I hate them even tho I don't know them. And guess what? Yup I was recently diagnosed with bipolar and BPD :/ not only is it hard for yourself because it's hard to even understand your own emotions but it's even harder for the people who love you because they don't know how to help :/ often times my fiance will cry and tell me "I don't know what to do to help you" when I have episodes v.v I love her to death but somwti I can say some horrible things.... But as I keep working on myself and getting help I'm understanding it more and more. One thing that helps alot is a self care box you can look up online "self care box for BPD"
 
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