Open about anxiety?

K

Kirstie1806

Member
Joined
Jan 31, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Manchester
#1
Hi everyone. I just wondered how open we are about our social anxiety. Are there people who are very open and not particularly fussed if people around them know, or are you quite closed and secretive about it like me? I can't bear the thought of people knowing. I feel like as soon as I had it confirmed by a doctor my boyfriend doesn't see me the same way.
I feel like a weirdo and abnormal. I'm 100% sure I've inherited it from my mum, who is definitely not all there and barely speaks at all, I have no idea who she is as a person. My biggest fear is turning into her.
 
Yodagirl

Yodagirl

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2019
Messages
48
Location
Georgia USA
#2
Hi everyone. I just wondered how open we are about our social anxiety. Are there people who are very open and not particularly fussed if people around them know, or are you quite closed and secretive about it like me? I can't bear the thought of people knowing. I feel like as soon as I had it confirmed by a doctor my boyfriend doesn't see me the same way.
I feel like a weirdo and abnormal. I'm 100% sure I've inherited it from my mum, who is definitely not all there and barely speaks at all, I have no idea who she is as a person. My biggest fear is turning into her.
I’m very open about my Social Anxiety. I wasn’t always, but I find it best to be open and honest. People use to think I was rude and kinda weird, I never wanted to go to social engagements or if I scheduled something I would always cancel. So now they know it’s just social anxiety and not something I have against them.
 
H

harsh-reality

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Joined
May 31, 2016
Messages
228
Location
England
#3
I have known two women who both said they had social anxiety and like as you two have said - speaking out loud is a problem - but these two women they seem to dominate conversations - so I do have some misunderstandings about how this condition is diagnosed as from the two people I know they speak all the time - admittedly most of it is blubbering as they seem to nervously chat about nothing in particular a lot but I found them saying what they had hard to understand

I never been diagnosed with it but I have to say I often hated speaking in front of a few people and was often very very silent due to lack of self esteem and people may have considered me to be rude.

I never spoke at all at school if I could help it.
 
K

Kirstie1806

Member
Joined
Jan 31, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Manchester
#4
I think for me it's best that I don't tell people. Of the few people I've told they weren't brilliant reactions. I end up over thinking and that every little thing I do, they will think it's due to my anxiety. I don't want to be even more wary to show my personality than I already am
 
MeropeneM

MeropeneM

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
188
#5
I wouldn't disclose my anxiety especially not on medical forms. Some insurance companies especially group plans can deem you un-insurable.
 
K

Kirstie1806

Member
Joined
Jan 31, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Manchester
#6
I have known two women who both said they had social anxiety and like as you two have said - speaking out loud is a problem - but these two women they seem to dominate conversations - so I do have some misunderstandings about how this condition is diagnosed as from the two people I know they speak all the time - admittedly most of it is blubbering as they seem to nervously chat about nothing in particular a lot but I found them saying what they had hard to understand

I never been diagnosed with it but I have to say I often hated speaking in front of a few people and was often very very silent due to lack of self esteem and people may have considered me to be rude.

I never spoke at all at school if I could help it.
I was only diagnosed in December, I initially went to my doctors because I thought I might have mild autism - he said my symptoms sounded more like social anxiety. Yeah I was known as "the girl who never talks" at school.
 
H

harsh-reality

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2016
Messages
228
Location
England
#7
I was only diagnosed in December, I initially went to my doctors because I thought I might have mild autism - he said my symptoms sounded more like social anxiety. Yeah I was known as "the girl who never talks" at school.
I go along to a gardening group now and one of the women who goes there who is an older lady said she never spoke at school either.

I don't know why I was like this at school - I often knew the answers but speaking in class was a big issue for me and this carried onto university for me too - I not socially anxious now but previously I drank alcohol to deal with socialising - however I no longer drink and after many years of extreme nervousness around strangers I seem to be more relaxed than I once was - I am pretty quiet in social scenarios still but that's because I enjoy being quiet and don't mind listening to others or simply enjoying being with someone in silence - am like this with my best friend of many many years.

We can hang around with each other and not say a word and we both ok with this.

I have tried internet dating but because I can ejoy being out with someone in silence when out and about this will never work for me on a date - ie hardly anyone is interested in the quiet one. I sort of felt dating you trying to sell yourself and was a very stressful experience for me anyhow..

But I am happier than I was and more confident socially even though I still not exactly Mr Chatty but I not that person anyhow …..
 
K

Kirstie1806

Member
Joined
Jan 31, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Manchester
#8
I go along to a gardening group now and one of the women who goes there who is an older lady said she never spoke at school either.

I don't know why I was like this at school - I often knew the answers but speaking in class was a big issue for me and this carried onto university for me too - I not socially anxious now but previously I drank alcohol to deal with socialising - however I no longer drink and after many years of extreme nervousness around strangers I seem to be more relaxed than I once was - I am pretty quiet in social scenarios still but that's because I enjoy being quiet and don't mind listening to others or simply enjoying being with someone in silence - am like this with my best friend of many many years.

We can hang around with each other and not say a word and we both ok with this.

I have tried internet dating but because I can ejoy being out with someone in silence when out and about this will never work for me on a date - ie hardly anyone is interested in the quiet one. I sort of felt dating you trying to sell yourself and was a very stressful experience for me anyhow..

But I am happier than I was and more confident socially even though I still not exactly Mr Chatty but I not that person anyhow …..
Yeah that's what I'm starting to realise about myself tbh- that I'm naturally a quiet person, introverted, don't like attention etc. And there's nothing I can do to change that no matter how hard I try. I'm at a point now where I'm trying to accept and love myself. Not everyone is gonna like me but that's OK.
I just want to enjoy being around people a bit more, once I'm over that hurdle I can accept myself for who I am