Online dating sucks!!

[andymax76]

This may turn out to be a long opening post, but what the hell, I want to type to let out some steam.

I am single, and often lonely, but I find it hard to speak to women because I know that they see me as a joke. I am well overweight and about as good looking as a squashed tomato, so what chance do I ever stand of finding a partner? Or, following on from that, being a daddy? At 31, I feel my biological clock ticking!

So I thought it might be a good idea to join an online dating site. I was wrong. It just served to prove what I had always believed - ladies simply turn their noses up at me. Email after Email I sent to dozens of women... you guessed it, not a single response. I tried to be fresh and funny, tried to show a positive outlook on life (I admit that was a blatant falsehood). They say men are shallow. Well, so are women.

Hah! What am I thinking of? Charles Darwin knew what he was talking about. Survival of the fittest. The good looking and/or confident will survive and reproduce; the runts of the litter will die out and thus only the best genes move forward. I have to find a way of coming to terms with the fact that I am in the "runts" category.

 

[Dollit]

Andy - online dating rarely works. One of my closest friends tried it (we don't have much of a social life doing what we do) and he said he was disappointed. I've been on a social networking site for a while now and have got to know people first before I've met them and it's far more civilized and I've made some great friends there.

I know how hard it can be - I split up with someone after 13 years and 17 days short of 50 has left me in a bit of a panic!

 

[Bwildered]

I think online dating should be outlawed and would like to see a return of meeting people in a environment of common interests, like it used to be..... ...didn't it???

 

[White Dragon]

I don't really agree with it either. I'd much rather just go out and talk to people. A lot more fun. I don't really want a relationship right now though.

 

[yakuza]

I think there's a far greater success rate for long term friendships via the internet however I do know a few people who have met through chat sites etc and have very successful relationships now.

 

[Apotheosis]

On-line dating sucks!!

Yes it does.

Forums, IRC (Chat rooms) & MSN is better for meeting people & forming friendships, in my own experience. But the best way is still to get "Out there" & meet people. I don't think being single is so bad really - there is so much social pressure to be in a relationship - but is it really so critical?

 

[White Dragon]

I agree. Yes you can meet people over the internet and form relationships that way, but it certainly isn't something I'd do. I'd rather it be someone that I know already rather than doing anything with people I don't know.

 

[Dollit]

That's all well and good if you can get out and meet people (and people can't for numerous reasons) but friendships can start anywhere and we shouldn't think of them as second best just because they begin on line.

 

[Starbright]

I agree with Dolllit's last statement.

I have also joined two dating sites and on both I've been inundated with requests from men 20 years older than me who all have been socially inept and have not been interested in me and wouldn't take no for an answer. Thank God for the 'block' option. The most recent was a bloke who started his chat up with 'yeah baby I fancy you - do you want to know all about me?'. Personally I would like to just chat to people to see how we get on, not be approached with this contrived Austin Powers chat up line. I'm looking for someone more subtle, more in tune with other people, more sensitive than that.

I don't know if any normal people frequent these sites but so far I haven't seen any. I'm becoming disillusioned.

I have to say that it would take me a long while to go from chat to action, personally. I really want to try to get to know the other person first and see if I feel comfortable and if we can be mutually sensitive to each other rather than go out with yet another egotistical bas***. Sorry do I sound jaded? I've just had a poor track record of men in my life.

 

[White Dragon]

Oh no. I agree that making friends over the internet can be good. I mean dating and starting a relationship with someone who we hardly know straight away.

It happens in real life too. I had a rather odd experience at college where this boy asked me if I was single before I'd even talked to him. He made me feel a bit uneasy to be honest. I'm sort of friends with him now but he isn't someone I entirely trust.

But I do actually agree with you Dollit.