One of my obsessions really bothers me

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Darby

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Nov 9, 2013
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A few years ago I started getting into astrology and anyway I found a website that has a compatibility calculator, you enter your dob and you have not just your sun sign but all 12 signs, so it's really deep as far as astrology readings go.

Well, I started doing compatibilities with a lot of my family members and it will give scores from 1-100 as to how compatible you are. And before I go on, my belief in the accurarcy of these readings is like 90 per cent I believe in them so it's like an ingrained belief not just some fad that I don't believe in.

I then started doing it with celebrities/famous people and I mean I really did a lot, I was obsessed with seeing how compatible I was with all these people who I'd known as a fan growing up and with new people I'd discovered whether on TV or through music/film etc.

The categories are like general compatibility, friendship, attractiveness and a couple of others I can't remember, I haven't been on it for over a year as it really started getting me down.

The reason it was getting me down is because now, whenever I see a person on the street, on TV/movies etc I immediately do my own compatibility test with them, as I've gotten quite a lot of feedback from literally the 100s-1000s even people I've done it with I feel I've got a gist as to what personalties I get on with and ones I don't. So if I see someone who I view as being un-compatible it causes great anxiety, especially if I have to speak to them because in the past I would just take people on as they come and make my own mind up whether I like them or not (I would get to know people for who they are and not be so judging and would never think anything other than that person, being in the moment etc) but now my mind is constantly obsessing over compatible and of course my whole attitude towards someone is going to change if I wholly believe were not compatible... I usually discount the middle ground say the 50 per cent and just view it as either I have a -20 per cent compatibility with them or an 80+

I even view it from other perspectives so I'll be thinking oh those two are really not/are compatible and it drives me nuts.

Its also stopped me from enjoying watching programmes because that's all I'm thinking, I react differently, even negatively towards people I know I'm low with, I can no longer hear the words people are saying, all I'm thinking about is this. I also view the world as much more simple and less interesting because of this obsession, which is the worst of it all, it's really been a big factor in my depression I think.

I just wish wish wish I never went on that site, the distress it causes me on a daily basis is ridiculous, I just need some advice and suggestions from anyone willing to give it, just your opinion on this would be great and any ideas I can move on from it and stop caring so much about it.

I find it hard to express myself these past years so I apologise for the above text, I hope you can understand what I'm saying.
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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