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On the nature of depression and emotion, and their subjectivity

A

Apathy

New member
Joined
Feb 25, 2015
Messages
2
Greetings all, first post, hope it's a good one.

Long term depression case, with high likelihood of comorbidity including anxiety and paranoia (I guess I'll find out upon commencement of my 3rd attempt at counselling; first in adulthood).

I've long gone through life, in spite of currently being married, being psychologically isolated. The concept of relying upon other people for my psychological wellbeing has always been difficult to grasp, and so I turned to self reflection for my answers. I'm guessing this is the first redundancy measure for a lot of people who feel that others cannot adequately provide answers for problems specific to them. We can extrapolate from others' experiences to gain a little insight, but ultimately our problems are our own, and most sufferers of depression know this.

The most important factor in our neverending quest for answers is perspective: we may be stuck in our heads, but with the power of the human brain we can simulate other circumstances, in which we attempt to anticipate obstacles in our recovery by identifying them and formulating a workaround. In not so many words, everybody does this, but as sufferers of depression, we are more familiar than most with the thought processes that are employed. This is because we are more sensitive to the effects of emotion than most, and so try to avoid situations in which we may be negatively affected by the impact of familiar emotions. Without enumerating the many facets of dysfunctional thought processes that usually afflict us, it is safe to say that positive reinforcement and the continuation of certain emotions will almost always influence the way in which we live our lives, feeding back into this perpetual loop of negativity and compounding the problem further.

I have repeatedly argued with myself that, with such a keen insight into our problems (the kind of insight that is borne only from the repetition that depression causes), why can't we who suffer from depression THINK our way out of our problems? In my experience, it is because we place this dichotomy between negative and positive emotions, without recognising the distinction between emotion and the feelings they cause. We try to place labels and definitions on emotion, to predict cause and effect and calculate methods of avoidance. In reality, there is no cause and effect, but a non-linear progression of trigger, emotion, and action, with feeling running parallel. The feeling aspect of depression, in my experience, is the most debilitating. This is because we have no control over feeling: by definition, it follows the form and function of how we handle emotion, the steps we take to lessen the impact of negative emotions, and how we process the triggers and actions that cause them. Feelings are far harder to label than emotions, because they are transient, highly variable, subjective, and above all are governed by hormonal/neural factors that are not easily quantified or explained when observed in the human body due to the large disparity between individuals and how they perceive them. Ultimately, there will never be an objective definition of how emotions affect people, which is the primary factor governing the inability of modern medicine to stem the increasing tide of apparent psychological "abnormality." By employing this same logic, it is reasonable to assume that we will never be "cured," and there will never be an easy answer, because there are no absolutes.

We will never truly understand our feelings, define them, or even control them. Those who do claim to have control of their emotions are willingly subjecting themselves to an illusion of the opposite, and for the most part have simply invented efficient methods of managing the feelings, and the root emotions, most familiar to them. We must embrace our emotions and feelings: instead of asking questions of our feelings, such as why do I have to feel this way, embrace the emotion and ask questions of it. With just a basic level of intution, it is easy to attempt to understand them, to identify whether they are rational, and to effect changes in the ones that are not.

It is far easier to understand why you feel a certain way, if you can determine, with any amount of certainty, whether you are logically justified in experiencing a certain emotion.
 

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,044
:welcome: to the forum.

I can't read long posts right now. I'll try later but wanted to welcome you.

Marliee x
 
A

Apathy

New member
Joined
Feb 25, 2015
Messages
2
Why thank you; most kind.

I came here primarily because I'm sick of voicing my thoughts to myself, because I'm an incredibly boring person, and I'm stuck in this skull with me. Just wanted to outline the way things have begun revealing themselves to me, and whilst nobody could honestly read that with anything but a passing interest, it feels good to know that they can if they feel a different perspective on things would help. It helped me, anyway, but then the point is that I can't possibly share the same perspective as everybody else.
 
M

messed-up

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
83
Location
northern ireland
I tried reading it, but I just can't concentrate at the minute....but :welcome:

I will come back to it when head decides to work a little better.

X
 
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