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On a wild crazy mixed state ride

Lilla

Lilla

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Joined
Jan 18, 2014
Messages
40
Location
Canada
See I can't remember what flipped me out on my husband two days ago. He's a good man. I'm usually very careful he doesn't wear it. I'm so agitated.. it's like urrr WOW. I am usually pretty nice. I hate all this weight the drugs that kept me calm for 17 months caused. I am so tired. I mean tired. I don't want to be bothered. I just want to lay down but that is boring and agitating. The room feels surreal.

I went to my doctor today (who I really have to think what she said). She said a mixed state. In 12 years since my diagnosis, this is my first time in a mixed state. I feel as if I am on drugs and I am sober.


I am so paranoid to put this post wow
 
BlueGlass

BlueGlass

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Hello and Welcome to the forum. :)
 
Reach

Reach

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Jan 1, 2014
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1,295
That is the most painful and suicidal time in my experience. I hope you have some good and quick working meds to help you over it.
 
Lilla

Lilla

Active member
Joined
Jan 18, 2014
Messages
40
Location
Canada
Thank you for responding :)

I have no idea how I feel. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't see what it was clearly. Apparently my blood levels of lithium dropped. I am always compliant. She said my lithium wasn't absorbed. So this is why, she thinks this happened. She being my doctor.

Posting makes me nervous. I'm a maxed out paranoid person on a good day.

For the first time in a long time, I am out of my usual bipolar element. I don't know what to expect. I searched out a place to talk because I am scared to speak to my friends and my husband. I feel very volatile. I live my life trying every day not to let my BS hurt my loved ones. Before I was diagnosed I hurt everything I touched. I feel as out of my element as I did then.

I was wondering how other people felt? Cause I can't decide where I am at. I just keep in my mind at all times, always...
I can't hurt my wonderful husband. But I did the other day :cry:
 
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