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Ommetaphobia for real?

K

KrauserII

Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2017
Messages
5
Hi, my name si Luca, I'm Chinese but I live in Italy... when I was a kid I had an accident and my right eyelid got damaged. My eyes looked very uneven so during my teenage years I decided to go under surgery (blepharoplasty).
I did 3 procedures... the last one almost 10 years ago... and was a failure...
Now I'm constantly thinking about my right eye, I'm afraid to use it... look up or to the distance, look people... and because of the scarf i feel my right eyelid innatural and tight, and I faar to became cross-eye..
Sorry, may be the post it's a little bit confusig...
I'm extremely worried and depressed (I cry everyday almost), and this is a topic difficult to talk with others... I was wondering if someone suffer from the same phobia (I saw a old thread releated)... and if we can get in touch...
Thank you!
 
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K

KrauserII

Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2017
Messages
5
Oh yeah, that was my first post!
Thank you! Hope to make some new friends here :)
 
exyz

exyz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,773
Hello Krauser:welcome:

I haven't your condition but have a nephew who had a similar condition he is 40 years old now.
We are UK based.
He had remedial work a few years ago now after it was badly done when he was young like you.
It went well.
Perhaps after all this time, as surgery techniques improve things may be different for you?
Talk to your doctor if you can?

You are very welcome here. I have found it a good support just to chat or distract or listen.
Best wishes
Exyz:)
 
K

KrauserII

Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2017
Messages
5
Thank you Exyz for your reply!
Along the physical discomfortt, there is a psychological component... whenever I think about it, I feel my right eye "not in order", like it would star look funny or would cross... and I start to panic... so worried that I get headache...

Yes, I'm thinking to go to the US in 2-3 years and look for an asian oculoplastic, I hope one day to solve this problem!
 
exyz

exyz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,773
Hi Krauser

I hope that you do find support when you travel to the US in a few years time.

I'm not sure what to suggest about the psychological component though. I imagine it must be very distressing for you. Are you having any treatment/support for anxiety. what you feel might be a manifestation of that? We cannot diagnose here but sometimes just talking to others who have challenges can help. :)
 
K

KrauserII

Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2017
Messages
5
I have this feeling that my right eye won't stay "in the centre", and (in my mind) I look cross-eyed... this affect my mood .. I had panic attacks, restless, and basically feeling very worried... and I think these feeling would affect my career (I'm a language teacher) as well as my relation with other people...


To be honest, nothing happend in the real world, I just have hard time talking with others now.. in photos I look "normal"... but another my paranoia is that "you become, what you think", so because I costantly thinking about this issue, I believe it will manifest soon or later.
It's loop of negative thoughts... and the more I fight them, the more I get stressed out, no result but draining my mental energy...(I'm not sure iif the sentence is grammatical correct XD )

I think one trigger could be that I know I'm ruining my life, until now I had a... kind of beautiful career as a student and worker, I might lost everything because of this fear, it makes sad, I don't feel to put any effort in whatever I do and I'm afraid of not be able to be the person I was.

As a support, I'm try to picture myself with two normal eyes and focus to have balance ibetween my two eyelids.
Also I'm reading Eckhart Tolle's books, I think I need to find myself.

Thanks Exyz for being here! Try to rationalize my feelings helped me a bit :)
 
K

KrauserII

Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2017
Messages
5
This morning waking up and getting up from bed I had this attack of fear... It was painful: my body was shaking, I felt restless.
I knew it was an illusory, a speel of my mind but I couldn' help it but believe it.
Because I saw pictures of people with one cross-eye (I was doing some research about eyes), those pictures pop-out in front of me... and make me worried on my condition.
I feel that my right eyelid badly done will damage my eye.

Ok, maybe I have already wrote these thngs, but it's loop I can't stop.
Even if there is no people suffering from this illness, I feel that writing here and, at least, imaging, someone reading, gives me relief. :)
 
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