Older person

E

Edith

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Aberdeen
#1
Hello, I have just joined. I am 66 years old and suffer from depression and anxiety. I find the anxiety is getting worse as I get older. Nobody else I know has these mental problems. I hope it will help to know I am not alone.
 
daffy

daffy

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Founding Member
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Dec 16, 2007
Messages
3,434
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hiding behind the sofa
#2
Hi Edith and welcome. You will find all age groups on here with lots of different problems. I’m the same age as you and diagnosed schitzoaffective with social anxiety and depression. I don’t know if it is getting older and thinking we have more time behind us than in front that increases the depression or if it’s just a progression. Have you had any therapy for your depression or are you on meds. Have you thought about contacting MIND to see if there are any groups in your area where you could meet others in the same situation.
 
E

Eustace

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Joined
Apr 7, 2019
Messages
66
Location
IK
#4
Hello Edith

I am 71. One of a dwindling band that can (just) remember a King on the throne !
Until a few months ago I had always enjoyed robust physical and mental health.
Now I am in the pit of despair, grief, anxiety, depression, loneliness, hopelessness. So far my physical health has not deteriorated, but insomnia, depression, poor diet will soon get to me. I can’t countenance suicide, and wouldn’t promote it on a site like this, but a painless, quick death due to natural causes would be a friend.
Just so you know, you are not alone. Not by any means.
Another contributor suggested that I should avoid sites like this, and it makes sense, but I find myself drawn back.

Good luck to you.
 
E

Edith

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Aberdeen
#5
Hi Edith and welcome. You will find all age groups on here with lots of different problems. I’m the same age as you and diagnosed schitzoaffective with social anxiety and depression. I don’t know if it is getting older and thinking we have more time behind us than in front that increases the depression or if it’s just a progression. Have you had any therapy for your depression or are you on meds. Have you thought about contacting MIND to see if there are any groups in your area where you could meet others in the same situation.
Thank you for taking the trouble to post in reply to me. Unfortunately I live in Scotland and MIND doesn't operate here. I had CBT a few years ago which helped along with meds. My doctor has messed me about with meds in the past few weeks and this has not helped. Aging probably is not helping either. Also my 2 beloved dogs now have health problems and this makes me sad. But you have set me thinking that some sort of therapy or counselling might help. It really helps to be in touch like this with people who really understand.
 
E

Edith

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Aberdeen
#6
Hello Edith

I am 71. One of a dwindling band that can (just) remember a King on the throne !
Until a few months ago I had always enjoyed robust physical and mental health.
Now I am in the pit of despair, grief, anxiety, depression, loneliness, hopelessness. So far my physical health has not deteriorated, but insomnia, depression, poor diet will soon get to me. I can’t countenance suicide, and wouldn’t promote it on a site like this, but a painless, quick death due to natural causes would be a friend.
Just so you know, you are not alone. Not by any means.
Another contributor suggested that I should avoid sites like this, and it makes sense, but I find myself drawn back.

Good luck to you.
Thank you, very good of you to respond, especially when you are not too well yourself. I really appreciate it. If you have not been to your doctor you could try that as a starting point. But a walk every day now that Spring is here could help too. I know it won't solve everything and maybe you can't manage that but if you are able do try and get fresh air. I hope you don't mind me suggesting this for you as if course, I do not know your personal circumstances. With much thanks and very best wishes.
 
Cpt_Stunning

Cpt_Stunning

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Jan 23, 2019
Messages
439
Location
Plymouth
#7
fresh air is what it's all about, lack of fresh oxygen to the brain means it doesn't function well.
 
LouisaMogs

LouisaMogs

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Joined
Apr 15, 2019
Messages
58
Location
Warrington
#8
You’re not alone. I work with people 60 plus in my job role, I find that anxiety can worsen as people get older. I’m not sure why.

Have you found any particular triggers that could set it off? That could be something to look into. I find keeping a diary of each day has helped me identify some triggers. It helps to read back and see what has possibly triggered my anxiety that day, or if there as been a tigger in the previous few days.

Maybe Joining a social club could help, they have a lot that do types of exercise as well.
 
E

Edith

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Aberdeen
#9
Thank you for responding. My husband retired in January and has been very difficult to live with, really grumpy and I can't seem to do anything right. He is a bit better since our daughter said he was bullying me (he is nice to everyone else, they would not believe how nasty he can be to me). But he's made me very nervous. However, as I said, he is being nicer to me now which is a relief. I am not so confident as I used to be. I have slowed down and can't keep up with the modern world. For example, in shops, I find myself being anxious as I fumble with packing my shopping and getting my purse organised. I feel the impatient young shop assistant and the queue behind me. But I do keep a journal and find it helps to write things down. As a result of a suggestion from an earlier response I have booked an appointment with a qualified counsellor/psychotherapist which I hope will help. I am a member of the U3A but find the others all terribly confident. There doesn't seem to be any supportive groups. where I live in Scotland. But I do Qigong every morning, very soothing . I only started 2 weeks ago so it will take time I suppose. Thank you again for your kindness.
 
LouisaMogs

LouisaMogs

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Joined
Apr 15, 2019
Messages
58
Location
Warrington
#10
It does sound like your husband was bullying you, and I think it’s good that your daughter stood up for you.

I can also relate to to how you feel in shops, that happens to me a lot, I feel like everyone is judging me because I’m fumbling and acting out of sorts. I can guarantee you that it isn’t anywhere near as bad as you think. Things always seem worse in your head.

Anxiety can warp how you see reality.

It sounds like your husband may be a root cause of this for you. It also sounds like he may be having trouble dealing with his retirement. If he can be nice to other people, then he can be nice to you, it sounds selective.

I think it’s great that you’re going to see a counsellor, that’s the first step and it can be the hardest sometimes. The counsellor may be able to put you in touch with a group session where you could meet people going through similar issues. Sometimes groups can be hard to find online as they may be small.

I really hope that you begin to feel better soon. You’re making positive steps.
 
E

Edith

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Aberdeen
#12
Forced myself to go for a walk this afternoon. It's a lovely sunny day and I am pleased I did it. Breathing in fresh air was good.
 
E

Edith

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Aberdeen
#14
I am going to see a counsellor today. I feel nervous! But it's a lovely day and I have time for a walk first.
 
daffy

daffy

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Dec 16, 2007
Messages
3,434
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hiding behind the sofa
#15
Hi Edith can I suggest that when you see a councillor you ask if there are any assertiveness courses because it sound to me that your lacking in self confidence, and maybe something like that could give you some answers either to the staff when your packing your shopping or maybe if it’s a big supermarket ask for a packer. And maybe give you some advice on how to cope with your husband if he snaps at you. Also is there a local over 60s group that you can go to. I go to one and also volunteer there as well. They have meetings and trips out.
I wish you well
Daf:hug:
 
E

Edith

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Aberdeen
#16
Thank you for your suggestions. You have given me some good ideas to work on and I appreciate your kindness.
 
E

Edith

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Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Aberdeen
#17
I have now seen the counsellor and it went well. I am going back to see her next week. I feel a bit better for it. Baby steps, as someone once said to me.
 
E

Edith

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Aberdeen
#20
My doctor has referred me for CBT. I start soon. I understand there are "exercises" to be done. I have just got to take the first step and log in but something is holding me back. The programme is called Beating the Blues (online).
 

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