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Old issues from childhood affecting adulthood

I

inapickle

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2009
Messages
3
When I was young on 3 seperate occasions I was falsely accused of some things. False being the operative word. I know that most people will obviously deny wrongdoing, however the things I was accused of I definately did not do.
These acusations come back to haunt me occasionally, particularly if I believe I am again being falseley accused, doubted or being blamed for things that others have done.

The main part of these accusations in my past is that I was not believed when I told the truth. The word of another was believed in every case. I have never understood why they were believed as they were testimonies of strangers and previously and post proven liars.

I have never got over the lack of trust in my truth-telling in these situations by various adults in postions of trust, so when my word is doubted I simply cannot cope and become irrationally upset. I believe that my word counts as less than nothing and I am at fault for everything that goes wrong.

It doesn't help that my word is often doubted by people in position of authority due to my work. It doesn't happen often, but when it does I am in no doubt that the blame is not mine, however I am given it regardless and suffer accordingly.

I know these issues in the grand scheme of things are extremely small, but they are affecting me nonetheless.

Typing this hasn't really helped me, yuk
 
P

Prasada

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
119
Location
London, south Wales, Bristol, Oxford, East Anglia
I hate being falsely accused.

As a kid I once walked past a big display pyramid of tins of baked beans, in a shop, just at the very moment it decided to collapse. I did not touch it or even cause a slight breeze, but the shopkeeper just could not be persuaded of my innocence, whether by remonstration or Socratean logic. I’m told that the incident still disturbs his slumber several decades on.

There is definitely a gene which causes incompetent people to blame others, particularly for their own mistakes. I have seen this a million times, not least in the workplace.

Instructions on dealing with it next time:

1) Shrug and tell them it’s their problem
2) Flip them the bird
3) Exit in a dignified huff
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
I have never got over the lack of trust in my truth-telling in these situations by various adults in postions of trust, so when my word is doubted I simply cannot cope and become irrationally upset. I believe that my word counts as less than nothing and I am at fault for everything that goes wrong.
im the same, being doubted by people who should know your character and you as a person is a horrible place to be in, especially when your word is your truth, you hold it in high regard for yourself and what you stand for, with others dont recognise how strongly that is.

i had the same as a child and it causes a mistrust in the people who are close to you and should know you as a person.

when everything bad very much centers on you, it will be carried along in life ready to be recalled and remembered and this is why your feelings on this are soo strong. they grow with every invalidation from others to your honesty.

its very hard to say just forget it, as i know i cant, i also go into paranoia with 'everyone will believe i lied and i must tell them i didnt' so becomes an even greater issue for everyone.

but as Prasada said, people do blame others, as its the easy route for them and some may well do it because they know how sensitive you are to it. people do lots of things to others 'just because' its our job to learn not to accept their [email protected] without it having such an effect. i havent figured that one out yet, when i find the secret i will blab
 
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