- Nov 9, 2019
These days...probably it's been 3days, I've been having a thought that keeps popping up. It's like a thread that keeps going on and on connecting unrelated things. Like yesterday, I was watching a video of my favorite celebrity and suddenly a thought would up like if I continued watching, something bad might happen to someone somewhere. I laughed it off, but it kept troubling me on and on until I just stopped watching the vids. Then, completely unrelated is the game which I play. Out of no where the thought would pop up that if I play something bad will happen to the person. I mean...its completely unrelated not to mention irrational. And I know it. But the thought keeps popping up making me feel so damn awful. Like... I would be playing and suddenly something like "You're playing, so someone will burn in hell" like these thoughts pop up. SOMETIMES IT FREAKING SO DAMN RIDICULOUS LIKE I'LL BE CLOSING THE DOOR AND if a bad thought is there while closing... I feel like I have to redo it so that it doesn't happen... Like WHAT THE HECK?! Although it's not hampering my social life and I'm normal and enjoying life... But these thoughts make me feel guilty and dreadful. What if someone really is suffering because I'm playing? What if someone is suffering because I'm doing this or that etc etc. Ugggghhh. It's just so frustrating!