Ok Whats my problem and who can help

[mezz1962]

Ok here's the problem in a quick sentence
I went to see a few physch's in my life and I was diagnosed with Adult ADD, I am Bi-Polar and I suffer from anxiety as well as few other things like I sweat to death and it feels like my body temp goes up 20 degrees when I have to talk to someone that I am unfamiliar with. (There is a name for it but I forgot)



The long version

I have seen Dr's and I have been on Medications like:
Busbar as well as a few other med's for the anxiety all of them I could not work when I took them and all of them made me lethargic.
Straterra was the latest med and that was fine in a low dose under 20mg it did stop all the thoughts running through my head but started causeing painful urination in higher doses. I did sleep more than the normal 3-4 hours of sleep that I have been getting for the past 5 years and normally those hours are filled with dreams and I never really feel like I slept. But normally I try to control everything myself without meds because I do have a fear of taking med's that will in essence change me from the person I am.

I am a 46 year old man, white 6 foot 2 - 210lbs in great shape. physically I have no problems at all

I was beaten everyday as a child. The good thing that came out of it was I would never ever hit my children or wife. Overall I had a normal childhood I have no issues at all I see my parents all the time and I am very very grounded. I do have a 150 IQ, I wrote a few novels and run a successful business.

Without Percocet or any medication

I curse almost all the time

I am quick to anger

I will go through fits of Rage to the point where I have to punch a hole in the wall

I will gladly help out friends and neighbors and I will be there whenever some one needs me

I am very very loyal to people

I am a recluse for the most part I work from home and given the choice I would rather never see another soul in my life

I do have sex on a regular basis but I can go without it because it is not really important to me

I can not keep thoughts straight in my head

I relate to kids better than I do adults I have a few employees we get along fine but I really would rather be alone than be working with them

My dog is my best friend in fact she's basically my only friend. I really don't like people all that much

I am an information sponge, I watch TV News, history channel, discovery channel always wanting to learn more and more



I wrote a 600 page novel in 5 days (I did not sleep because it was like seeing a movie in my head and I was writing what I was seeing and it would not stop. The book was published. I also wrote the following 2 books to complete the sequel but those 2 books remain on my computer I have no desire to proceed getting them published

I will work for any amount of hours to get a project finish never resting, never sleeping but with every project I get it 99% done and never finish it nor even care about it once the project is finished in my head its done to me

I will cut my lawn, paint my house or do whatever in the middle of the night or when ever I think I have to do something no matter what time of day, season or circumstance I must do it right then and there

Now for the problem
Last year I ruptured a disk in my back and they prescribed percocet. I currently take 5mg twice a day so it is very low dosage.
Almost instantly I was cured. I did not even realize it. My wife and family noticed first. The first sign was I was no longer cursing or getting angry. My wife saw it because I started being nice to her all the time and complimenting here about her looks or helping her out with housework. But in all the above cases everything was fixed after I starting taking the percocet to help with the pain I was suffering.

I don't feel high nor do I feel different other than normal. The only thing I can not do is sleep other than that. My rage is gone, I am no longer quick to anger in fact it is the opposite. Example my old business partner stole $75,000 from the account and I had to start the business all over under normal circumstances I would have killed him and I do mean rip his throat out blood and guts everywhere kill him. But I did not even get mad

My company receives 100 emails a day before percocet I would answer 5 or 6 be soaking wet from sweat and I could not answer anymore without taking a break. I would have to struggle to get through 20-30 of them and most of the time delete the rest of them. On percocet no matter how many I get I sit and just answer them all no sweating, stopping no nothing just sit there an answer them all

On Percocet I follow things to completion, I am not so off kilter meeting people and I will actually have fun. I recently went to a family outing normally I would leave in 1 hour my family is used to it and they accept who I am but this time I stayed the whole 4 hours of the party and actually had a good time.

I can tell my wife my feeling instead of never showing her how I truly feel about her. Without percocet I am a grumpy old man and I would rather call you names and hurt your feelings than make you feel happy.On percocet I am happy to hug her, kiss her and tell her I love her and how beautiful she looks.

Percocet does not effect my thinking in any way. I can still problem solve, Drive my car, take care of all the problems that occurred daily with running a million dollar business. So I am in no way impaired or as I have seen on other site a feeling of being high. I am not overly happy I feel like I am a normal person. I still get sad and still get upset but it is now in situations that are called for this emotion what I am not doing is going overboard with rage.

So the problem is what is in percocet that has such a profound effect and seemingly cures my physiological problems with no side effects and why is this drug so illegal that I cannot obtain it? Or a doctor who spends years learning to cure people's ills are so stupid not to see that this is MY miricle drug?

I get 60 pills per month and usually run out the last few days. have no side effect I don't sweat, I don't lose my appetite, I sleep regular and except for my anger returning, and my grumpiness rearing it's ugly head I have no other effects. I am keenly aware of addition since my mother was an acholic and I do not even drink except at a social occasion. The only effect not being on Percocet does is Basically me into my old self and every person ( family, wife, my employees know the minute my percocet wears off because it is like Jekel and Hyde)

I am willing to put myself in a study but I think this drug can help people like myself in small doses. I really can't understand why when I try different psychologist they try giving me medication that has so many adverse effects when this drug seemingly does what they want for me without any side effects that I can see. Recently I had a full medical work up and blood, urine, blood pressure was completely normal

So any advice? I will work with anyone that is actually willing to help me find what is wrong with me and hopefully I can provide someone with the most complex subject they will ever find. I have been described as the smartest crazy person who they would ever meet but people come to me for advice because they trust me even though I am nuts

 

[Dollit]

I think that finding someone in the medical world to work with you would have to be something you'd pursue in the States (which is where you are, right?). This site is largely peer support.

I can understand the reluctance to prescribe percocet as it is an addictive painkiller and no responsible doctor would prescribe it as an off label for a psychiatric condition - think law suits!

You have a diagnosis (or two) but still seem to think that there's something else wrong with you - why is that? (Curiosity not judgement, I must add).

 

[connect]

So the problem is what is in percocet that has such a profound effect and seemingly cures my physiological problems with no side effects and why is this drug so illegal that I cannot obtain it? Or a doctor who spends years learning to cure people's ills are so stupid not to see that this is MY miricle drug?

Hi there ,
I'm not a health professional but here is what I think: Percocet is basically an opiate, and people under the influence of opiates will often say that they just don't worry about their troubles anymore. This may explain a lot of your changes in behaviour. Maybe it's the reduction in anxiety that percocet provides that makes you feel more relaxed and chilled about things. Opiates act on specific receptor molecules for the endorphin/enkephalin class of neurotransmitters in the brain. I'm sure you've heard of the "runner's high" athletes experience during long, strenuous exercise. PET scans have shown that endorphins are produced during the exercise and are attaching themselves to areas of the brain associated with emotions. By taking opiates, you can attain that state permanently, which in theory sounds brilliant. The downside is of course that opiates are highly addictive (they also act on the reward centers of the brain) and withdrawal can be gruesome.

Maybe now would be a good time to introduce other anxiety-reducing measures into your life, such as exercise, yoga or meditation, and a good therapist for some talking therapy aimed at reducing your overall anxiety levels and social phobia (if that's what you meant in your first paragraph - I wasn't sure) .