OK... I Am Scared!!!!

[RubyAnn]

I am soo scared and trapped at the moment... I live with my grandparents and my mum... I can't afford to move out... and I honestly think that if I stay here much longer they only way I'll ever get out of this house is in a wooden box.......

Everytime I close my eyes I have horrible thoughts, not just about me, but about my nan too.... I hate her..... and I know this is going to sound nasty but I just want her dead... because I am never going to be able to live my live while she is still around....
she makes me feel like shit about myself, when she talks to me like a piece of shit i just want to cut myself (and I have) and I can't take it anymore......

My stomach feels like it's got a volcano inside... I feel ready to blow at any minute... and my chest is starting to feel tight again because I am getting so wound up and anxious...
I am thinking of taking myself up the hospital again... so I can talk to someone....

 

[intelgal]

Morning Rubyann...

Sounds like you really need to talk to someone and gt things off your chest.

Would a trip to your GP or CPN help with this.. can you contact them today

Take care

Intel

 

[jamesdean]

I am soo scared and trapped at the moment... I live with my grandparents and my mum... I can't afford to move out... and I honestly think that if I stay here much longer they only way I'll ever get out of this house is in a wooden box.......

Everytime I close my eyes I have horrible thoughts, not just about me, but about my nan too.... I hate her..... and I know this is going to sound nasty but I just want her dead... because I am never going to be able to live my live while she is still around....
she makes me feel like shit about myself, when she talks to me like a piece of shit i just want to cut myself (and I have) and I can't take it anymore......

My stomach feels like it's got a volcano inside... I feel ready to blow at any minute... and my chest is starting to feel tight again because I am getting so wound up and anxious...
I am thinking of taking myself up the hospital again... so I can talk to someone....

You are right you need out of this enviorment its to scarry get out now

 

[RubyAnn]

Hi, thanks 4 ur comments and yes I do need to get out.... I've tried I really have, but it just seems to go wrong all the time...

I feel so trapped!

 

[RubyAnn]

I don't understand why family's think they can treat you like shit!?!?! And talk about you to other members in the family when your in the same fucking house and can hear what they are saying!?!?!

I have got no support network around me at the moment and I am really scared, I have to live with these people and they are making me feel so ill.... I want to cut myself all the time now... and I thought I had controlled that!! I just don't know what to do anymore!!

 

[lonelyandlost]

Hi Rubyann
Lack of support is hard to deal with, things like this are too much to handle on your own.
Are you able to call someone to help you through , or even start you with some support?
Families can react like this because they are cared of the unknown and they do things to protect themselves instead of the right thing of helping out.
Have you got a distraction that works for you and SH. I know I ten to fall back on one thing when I feel the urges to hurt, sometimes it takes a couple of different distractions though to get through the more severe urges.