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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Oh crap - to top it all off!

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warriorprincess

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Hey i've been posting on here a bit recently. basically I have my assessment tomorrow with a psych. and i broke up with my partner of 3 years just over a week ago, We have a 15month old daughter who is perfect in everyway.We are talking more and more, i'm ever hopeful we'll patch things up - he said he had to leave as he was getting angry from all my little outbursts and didn't wana feel like that - he's always been so calm. So basically i reckon (about 100%) that i have manic depression and have felt that for at least the last 10 years. but he couldn't hang around long enough to help me through it as he is now depressed. i possibly may have had post natal depression too which has brought out this real low i've been feeling lately - started about 6 months after she was boprn. I have just kept on going and going tho but snapping more and more at my partner so finally, bless him, he'd had enough. hopefully we can work things out with time - he's coming to the assessment tomo to explain 'my ways', and he stayed last night and sunday and we had amazing time, but i think we just needed the break to shake it up a bit. i'd been wanting different things from us - but not a different relationship, was just sick of never going out and doing stuff as a family. and neither of us been eating or sleping well for months, so everything has just compounded. It's hard to know what's what.... but oh my god all the heartache i felt last week, now makes sense, i just found out today that I AM PREGNANT AGAIN! Now i don't know what to do and all i want is to tell my partner but he wont come over (out with the lads, coming over tomorrow), and because i dont wana depend on him to much at the mo. But where comes the point then, when i can say to my child's father I REALLY NEED YOU NOW??? and i think - he was ok coming over yesterday getting sexy. Sometimes i wonder just how much of this is all me, it breaks my heart that this is the first place i turn to, the first 'person' i tell, are strangers? Am I really expecting too much? or have i settled for too little in expecting anything to ever be any less than painful for me, cuz that's the way I see it?
 
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nattyone

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Mar 25, 2010
Messages
82
Don't forget to tell te dr your pregnant. It's important because of the meds. If the dad is going to be at the meeting he will hear then as well. I think u should stay freinds , live seperate but see if he will be a support for you after all in supporting you he is caring for his kids. Which is not too much to ask. When you are stabilized long you both will be less stressed and can moe toward a more full on relationship.

You need to preserve what you have as from what you say he's not all bad , he's just stressed like you. Once you've both had help and got better you should be able to get back to normal.

The baby stuff is a lot to take in. That woul throw me into shock. Crangulations tho. I think given time you could get it all sorted out juts don't rush each other.
 
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warriorprincess

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Apr 14, 2010
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thank you that is what i am thinking. we both need time.
Yes within half an hour of finding out i'd gone to my docs dont worry. and got my appointment at 11 tomo. the my assessment with psych at 3pm. haha timing of it all eh. If this was last month we'd have still been together and done all of this side by side. We stil love each other so much. it has just taken me so long to shrug those wretched ghosts off, and now i have and we could be so happy i've bloody ruined it eh., Juust like before! At least tomo i may be a step nearer diagnosis and he's coming over early morning so can tell him then. i'm still hopeful he'll come over tonight i've just said i need a hig but i guess at the mo he is not obliged, and i don't wana spill the beans over the phone. Ah well. Life does indeed go on! So stoked my girls gona have a baby brother or sister too just hope i can cope with it all.... i'm not on any meds yet but did chuck myself around a bit on saturday at a sleepover in a play park!! and had 2 dinks that night too, forst in ages, but now i'm worrying!! there's always something eh. thank you xxx
 
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TOONAFISH

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Nov 23, 2008
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Bonnie Scotland
just wanted to say congratulations. a few drinks would not have done any harm i dont think. let us know how you get on. xxx
 
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warriorprincess

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Joined
Apr 14, 2010
Messages
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Location
Cool St, Coolville
thanks guys. well i had 2 appointments today - first was with the doctor about my pregnancy, all good it's still very early so don't wanna get too excited yet, but the due date is the day after what my little girl's due date was so i think that's kinda magical. Daddy knows now, and we have a lot to work thru but i'm still hopeful... and then ...
my appointment with the psychiatrist tho that was not what i expected - he has said i dont have bipolar disorder, even after my boyfriend told him everything. he reckons i have borderline personality and it stems from my childhood. Well well, I just hope he's right as my dad had to suffer years and years before he was correctly diagnosed with bp. although from what the shrink said the 2 present themselves almost identically, so all the things i've done it would tck all the boxes for both of these. i guess this should be my last post on here, but i feel i may keep in touch with you all as much as possible, i still like this way of expression, and it's given me such a support this last week where i had none.
 
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