• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Oh bum!

P

Pipa

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
6
Location
UK
Thought I was on top of this - dh and I have children together, we separated (at my request) about 6 months ago, we have been going to counselling together and decided 2 nights ago to get back together. Tonight after a 'date' I realised that he has not changed, nor wants to take any responsibility for change. I spent our entire relationship, which spanned about 15 years, feeling like a 'project' - he said on many occassions that I needed to change - to be fair, I was not happy with myself at that time. Anyway, things changed, we had children, I got some life changing therapy!, and he doesn't like the 'new me'. I am not what he wanted, he cares more about what other people may think than what he actually believes - I feel that he cares more about what people think of me and us than WE care about us. Apparently because I have tatoos that makes people judge me - well, not anyone I know, and if they did then I may not want to know them. At the moment I am so frustrated I cannot believe that I had children by this man. But yes, I know I did, and I need to live with that - sorry for off-loading, am just sooooooo annoyed!! :mad:
 
ms_P

ms_P

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
3,067
Location
BeNeLux
Thought I was on top of this - dh and I have children together, we separated (at my request) about 6 months ago, we have been going to counselling together and decided 2 nights ago to get back together. Tonight after a 'date' I realised that he has not changed, nor wants to take any responsibility for change. I spent our entire relationship, which spanned about 15 years, feeling like a 'project' - he said on many occassions that I needed to change - to be fair, I was not happy with myself at that time. Anyway, things changed, we had children, I got some life changing therapy!, and he doesn't like the 'new me'. I am not what he wanted, he cares more about what other people may think than what he actually believes - I feel that he cares more about what people think of me and us than WE care about us. Apparently because I have tatoos that makes people judge me - well, not anyone I know, and if they did then I may not want to know them. At the moment I am so frustrated I cannot believe that I had children by this man. But yes, I know I did, and I need to live with that - sorry for off-loading, am just sooooooo annoyed!! :mad:
Pipa...without going into detail, I understand completely what you're saying.

Keep unloading...it helps a lot.:)
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
Hello pipa you need someone who wants you for you, and I'm sure you will find that special person, I have meet people like your ex, Takecare James:hug:
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
1,850
Location
Yorkshire, UK
It sounds like this guy isn't right for you. Everyone deserves to be treated right and fair by their partners and if yours isn't willing then maybe he's not right for you.
I hope you can work through all this :).

Take care,
:flowers:
 
R

rwitty

Member
Joined
Nov 10, 2008
Messages
18
Location
shipley, west yorkshire
pippa, at least you've tried. lots of people wouldn't have. it's easy for poeple to say that they will change but to actually do it is hard.i t sounds like you have really tried to change for this guy and he's not willing to do the same for you and he's never going to be happy.

are you happy now? Because if you are then that's the most important thing.

some relationships can't be saved no matter how hard you try and it might be best for the children to part ways.
 
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