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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

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falling_Free

falling_Free

Active member
Joined
Dec 1, 2009
Messages
29
Location
Uk , North West
Think im going slightly mad at the minute and havn't really got anywhere else to put all this shit so im going to offload it all here , Im schizoaffective, not sure if I might be entering some sort of manic / pyschotic phase.

Anywhere yes where to begin , christ

Im having constant swirling thoughts going round my head , grandiose relgious delusions of being some sort of superman / god / devil / winged serpant from the pits of satans asshole . My head feels like it going to explode / implode and im having visions in my mind of demons / robots / andrgounous dogs from outer space , snake women , serpant priests.

I cant connect with anyone anymore feel really lost, words have lost their meaning , Ill hear a word but not get the intuitve meaning of it if you can understand??? how queer it is. I feel like I am only half exsisting. Ill also have visions of outer space explosions, quantam wormholes, and the baby from eraserhead screaming bloody murder at me, turn the thing off , CHRIST!!

I also seem to be reogranizing lanuguage subcounsiouly

examples follow

Hell - 0 - hello
Chris - T - Christ
T - Ruth - Truth
I - 2 t's upside down making one I (shit Im a genius arnt I!!?)

ETC ETC, Literelly got notepads full of this kind of crap


Im also get a burning senstaion in my head , like there is a tight band roung my head getting tighter and tighter.

I relieze I have probably just confused just about everyone with this outpouring of insanity, but mates, this is where I am right now.

Reading this back I think wtf??? but this is where I am, edging towards the abyss pehaps.

shit.....
 
falling_Free

falling_Free

Active member
Joined
Dec 1, 2009
Messages
29
Location
Uk , North West
If anyone can make sense of this, well done your a better man / women or combination thereof
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
That sounds just like how my hubby was when he had a psychotic episode in the summer. A few weeks on antipsychotics and he was right as rain. Are you taking anything like that at the moment?
 
falling_Free

falling_Free

Active member
Joined
Dec 1, 2009
Messages
29
Location
Uk , North West
Yep on abilify 10mg and have been for a while though for some reason it is not having as much of an effect as before. Ive been stable for yonks now im just going a bit mental. Should probably get in touch with community mental health team, not due to see someone for about two to three weeks.
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Should probably get in touch with community mental health team
Sounds like a good idea, they might even be able to give you some advice on the phone to save you getting really bad over the Christmas break.
 
falling_Free

falling_Free

Active member
Joined
Dec 1, 2009
Messages
29
Location
Uk , North West
I still feel very overwelmed by the energy in my head , Having constant delusions (nearly always grandiouse , sometimes messiah like) also experincing strange bodily sensations (like electric currents zapping into me).

Basicly to narrow it down im feeling like im in a abyss , screaming at the night
no one can hear me, I think no one cares
 
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