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OCD struggles False Memory

Z

ZDJ101

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2014
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1
Hello everyone,

I am a college student struggling with OCD. I have been in therapy for about 5 months but i am struggling alot this week. I have had OCD all my life but it has gotten most severe these past couple of years. I have been struggling greatly with False Memory OCD. Or at least i hope these thoughts are false! PLEASE let me know I am not alone in this. I feel like my mind is going crazy. My mind makes up these wild stories and convincing details, so when I question if I did something wrong, those details make me truly convinced I did. I have anxiety about touching my family members cell phones for fear of deleting an important text message. The other day I wanted to wipe of the kitchen table but my 2 sisters phones were sitting there. I was scared to touch them, but then I said to myself "you can move them it's okay." After moving both of them aside, a few minutes later an intricate and convincing story popped into my head. My mind told me that i saw a text on my sisters phone from a long lost boyfriend of hers named Dominic . My mind then told me I deleted this important text that revealed he wanted her back or something of that sort. These details make it feel SO real. I keep thinking it over in my mind saying "I would never do that! I am scared of deleting texts off of people's phones!" But the detail of the name Dominic and feeling like I saw his name on my sisters phone screen in the font she has on her phone, feels so real that I am convinced I ruined her life. I am thinking worst case scenario like what if she was supposed to marry this guy in the future but now she will never know because I deleted that one text! I need help. I feel so guilty!
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

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:hi: ZDJ101 and welcome to the forum. :)
You have a lot of support here.
We're all in the same boat in one way or another.
I personally can't help with specifics and I do hope things become safer and easier for you.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
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OCD isn't something i've struggled with, so don't have much insight to share.
But I do experience things similar to what you're describing (the false memories).
Sometimes it can get really difficult to distinguish between reality and what's gone on inside the mind.
Also, when things feel so real and are so specific, a part of me almost thinks it's some great psychic insight or premonition which makes ignoring the thought more difficult.

Do you practise grounding exercises much? It might help you feel more in reality and as a result perhaps you'll be more confident in knowing what's really happened.
The 5 things for 5 senses thing is really good.. so for example, you focus on 5 things you can smell/touch/see/hear (taste isn't so easy) in the moment you're in.

I hope things get better for you soon, anyway.
 
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