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OCD? Sexual/violent/intrusive thoughts.

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basil12345

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2021
Messages
5
Location
St Louis MO
I recently got off of my medication (zoloft). Around the time the medication was out of my system completely, I remembered something sexual from my childhood. I remembered experimented with another child. Even though I know that is most likely not the case at all. After that, it has spiraled into me being obsessively worried I am capable of harming someone. I get visual images and thoughts of sexual things that are inappropriate, along with violence. Even though I have never harmed someone, and would not be capable of doing such a thing, my mind has now convinced me that I might be capable. I see a therapist regularly and she says that it sounds like OCD and she believes I would be the last person to do such a thing. But I can't stop worrying that I could turn into some deviant who may harm someone. My therapist mentioned that with OCD, it's usually what you're most afraid of. That my brain is taking the things that I fear the most and making me believe I could be capable of those things. And it is not at all in my character. But I keep second guessing if all of a sudden, a switch has flipped and something is severely wrong with me. I think it is just OCD, and have just recently been researching it more. Which tends to make it worse at times. But I can't stop thinking about it and it is completely debilitating, I feel like I am going crazy. It helps to know that is is most likely an OCD thing, as everyone around me insists that this is just my brain malfunctioning and I would never be capable of such horrible things. I have a lot more I could type here but I am just wondering if anyone can relate to any of what I have mentioned? I just have this fear that I am a horrible person and it replays in my head all day long. I have had severe anxiety and panic in the past, along with depression... but this is a whole other ballgame. I don't think I could feel worse than I do now. It is just making me second guess so many things about myself and my morality.
 
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BigManSlim99

Active member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
29
Location
Washington State
Sounds like a classic case of intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are really common in people with OCD and anxiety. The compulsions in OCD are a response to the obessive or intrusive thoughts, and act as a coping mechanism of sorts (although it only reinforces the pattern like an addiction). Keep working with your therapist for sure. It can be painful to talk about or confront, but you will be capable of healing and learning to control your own thoughts again :)
 
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basil12345

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2021
Messages
5
Location
St Louis MO
Thank you very much. I think I am going to try to get into an intensive outpatient program. My therapist suggested that to me. My anxiety about that is through the roof as well. Just hoping that I can get some sort of relief and reassurance that I am “normal”.
 
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basil12345

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2021
Messages
5
Location
St Louis MO
Sounds like a classic case of intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are really common in people with OCD and anxiety. The compulsions in OCD are a response to the obessive or intrusive thoughts, and act as a coping mechanism of sorts (although it only reinforces the pattern like an addiction). Keep working with your therapist for sure. It can be painful to talk about or confront, but you will be capable of healing and learning to control your own thoughts again :)
 
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ramboghettouk

Well-known member
Founding Member
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Jan 7, 2008
Messages
18,250
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london
ii think a survey showed that most men would have non consensual sex if they could get away with it
 
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Keesha

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Apr 19, 2019
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4,684
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N/A
ii think a survey showed that most men would have non consensual sex if they could get away with it
WTF!!! In other words …. RAPE!😡
Oh yes they most certainly will. 🤬
You again! 🥺
 
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ramboghettouk

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london
thats what a survey showed, i well the women who trust me it'd be a betrayal of trust though the length of time i've been celibate
 
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bangalore1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2020
Messages
168
Location
uk
I have OCD pure O harm OCD and I have shared this with many people and something that happened in childhood. It has cause me a lot of problems and people can put you me in a box and say i am this or that.
I have caused myself a lot of harm by sharing to much with to many people.
Looking back it would of been better to just share certain things once, but that is not the nature of my condition.
 
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ramboghettouk

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Jan 7, 2008
Messages
18,250
Location
london
i know what you mean, i've got an illness that makes me vulnerable and i should be more careful, there are people better than me here and i could be picked on by my betters
 
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