- Nov 23, 2014
Hello everyone...I come from Slovenia, Central Europe and since I was like in the first grade of elementary school (i'm 18 now) I had a great hypochondria about everything...When I was 7 years old I was scared that I am dying of AIDS and when I was a little older I thought I have skin cancer...I became obssessed with viruses, bacterias and other disease-making things...I remember I was crying one night because I thought I had a brain tumor and eye cancer and I could barely think for two months of thinking that I am infected with Rabies and that I'm gonna die...but well, luckily through two years of depression and suicidal acting I came through and I got rid of these hypochondric thoughts...I don't know how, but I did...and now another thing appeared, around 1 year ago, or even more. I don't have any idea what it is but it's like OCD...kind of...Every time I write something I erase it and began again and again and again until i have an idea that it's okay...because if I just try to ignore that urge to erase and rewrite what is written I get extremely worried and nervous and think that I made a giant mistake...and the same things happen when I close the door...I keep on opening and closing it until it "feels" right and this can take as long as 20 minutes or so...the worse thing is I can't write anythig normally...either for school or something similar my notebooks are full of erase marks and like that...and I find it extremely annoying only I can't get rid of it...then there's another thing. I really really dislike myself...I don't know if it's because of that but I tend to harm my head for every single mistake I make and then I call myself worthless and idiot and similar things...sometimes even worse...so can please ANYONE help and tell me what these things are? This writing erasing thing? Please and thank you VERY MUCH for your answers.
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