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Ocd or Asperger/autism?

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DaisyLaCrazy

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Joined
Aug 27, 2021
Messages
61
Location
UK
I’ve always wondered if I am slightly autistic. Reason being I sometimes feel I am faking being ‘normal’ in front of others. I’ve always had intrusive thoughts , as a child I remember laying in bed trying to daydream of myself pushing a pram but the pram kept falling over and it used to frustrate me.
As an adult I often have thoughts that feel like ‘lists’ for example I could be talking to my partner and he does something and my mind will think ‘why did he do that’ could be as simple as making a funny face to make me laugh - and then I have to repeat over in my head why I think he did it until it clicks. It’s mentally draining, I used to have typical ocd where I had to touch a light to prevent someone from dying etc but this ocd just doesn’t make sense , it’s about understanding I guess because my intrusive thoughts will question why or what something feels like. Even my newborn son if he does something I may get a thought ‘why did he do that’ and then have to get it right. When usually it’s something basic like just kicking around and babies do it as like the freedom and learning use of their body but it’s like my mind needs to get the right feeling.

also I feel like I have to act normal sometimes because I have constant anxiety, even when I talk I know I can sound obsessive and rushed. I’m very creative have a vivid imagination , at school my teacher said one of the best imaginations he has ever seen - but my downfall is I over analyse, over think and although the thought doesn’t bring major anxiety more a feeling of needing to know, when I can’t get the right feeling that’s when I get stressed.

I also have a heart condition recently diagnosed and suffering panic disorder now from it and constantly ruminating trying to reassure myself I can’t just drop dead from it, it’s better to know and keep a close eye but I’m terrified of it getting worse and I have this obsession that my anxiety is causing it (I doubt it was that, probably my pre eclampsia) but obv anxiety isn’t good for anyone and can trigger irregular heart rate - but rather than controlling the anxiety, I just get it worse it’s like a viscious circle - this anxiety is killing me I must stop - but I can’t - I don’t know how to stop - I’m going to die a slow painful death and it’s all ny own fault. Etc. I don’t always laugh at comedy either , I find it funny but sometimes I just don’t get it and will not laugh which my partner doesn’t get.

anytips? Also do you think I am autistic?
 
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BlueWater

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Jul 29, 2021
Messages
891
Location
Earth
OCD wants certainty hence the reason you question yourself all the time. You're not on the right meds or right med dose yet and definitely don't seem to be with the right talk therapist.
 
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Laudanum

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Joined
May 30, 2019
Messages
1,094
Location
Surrey
Sounds like you are anxious because of your health issues and are worried about your new born son.

OCD is a spectrum, so you may be touching on it slightly.

If you had aspergers you'd be like Sheldon Cooper in the Big Bang Theory - with no empathy for others, and only worried about how things affect your personal wellbeing, and not liking change.
 
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BlueWater

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Jul 29, 2021
Messages
891
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Sounds like you are anxious because of your health issues and are worried about your new born son.

OCD is a spectrum, so you may be touching on it slightly.

If you had aspergers you'd be like Sheldon Cooper in the Big Bang Theory - with no empathy for others, and only worried about how things affect your personal wellbeing, and not liking change.
Excellent analogy.
 
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DaisyLaCrazy

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2021
Messages
61
Location
UK
OCD wants certainty hence the reason you question yourself all the time. You're not on the right meds or right med dose yet and definitely don't seem to be with the right talk therapist.
You have helped me more than any talk therapist.

I have finally started sertraline and hoping they kick in soon. Tonight I’ve panicked myself again because I read on google that anxiety and stress can cause my heart condition and make it worse. So now I’m so tense and anxious that is going to happen.
Can’t sleep or function at the moment.
Any tips
On how To deal with this - because I keep seeking reassurance.
 
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BlueWater

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Jul 29, 2021
Messages
891
Location
Earth
You have helped me more than any talk therapist.

I have finally started sertraline and hoping they kick in soon. Tonight I’ve panicked myself again because I read on google that anxiety and stress can cause my heart condition and make it worse. So now I’m so tense and anxious that is going to happen.
Can’t sleep or function at the moment.
Any tips
On how To deal with this - because I keep seeking reassurance.
I understand the reassurance problem. This is one of my few weeks this year when I have not messaged my doctor. I should buy star stickers and put one on my hand like my teachers did in elementary school: silver, gold, etc. :)

Don't read so much on the Internet. When you are tempted to, practice sensory exercises.
Ask yourself, what do I see today? Trees, buildings, a happy baby, my favorite piece of furniture
What do I hear today? My toddler's voice, my baby crying, my husband talking, the radio
What have I tasted today? A lovely breakfast, my favorite lunch, my favorite snack. List specifics.
What have I touched today? My toddler, my baby, my husband, my favorite dishes
What have I smelled today? A dirty diaper but on a baby I adore, flowers, tea.

Be specific. You can do this little exercise all at once when you have five minutes alone. That's a good way to start. As you get used to it, you'll find yourself doing it throughout the day as you begin to live in the moment and escape this virtual world that's terrifying you. It's good to be on here some because there are so many positive people but be careful of too much health reading on other sites. You can scare yourself.

It takes a variety of meds to make me sleep. You're not alone in that struggle. I'm almost two weeks into trying Escitalopram again, this time with an additional anxiety med, and I'm doing a lot better. I hope I can stick it out.

Thank you for the sweet compliment. Hugs!
 
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DaisyLaCrazy

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Joined
Aug 27, 2021
Messages
61
Location
UK
I understand the reassurance problem. This is one of my few weeks this year when I have not messaged my doctor. I should buy star stickers and put one on my hand like my teachers did in elementary school: silver, gold, etc. :)

Don't read so much on the Internet. When you are tempted to, practice sensory exercises.
Ask yourself, what do I see today? Trees, buildings, a happy baby, my favorite piece of furniture
What do I hear today? My toddler's voice, my baby crying, my husband talking, the radio
What have I tasted today? A lovely breakfast, my favorite lunch, my favorite snack. List specifics.
What have I touched today? My toddler, my baby, my husband, my favorite dishes
What have I smelled today? A dirty diaper but on a baby I adore, flowers, tea.

Be specific. You can do this little exercise all at once when you have five minutes alone. That's a good way to start. As you get used to it, you'll find yourself doing it throughout the day as you begin to live in the moment and escape this virtual world that's terrifying you. It's good to be on here some because there are so many positive people but be careful of too much health reading on other sites. You can scare yourself.

It takes a variety of meds to make me sleep. You're not alone in that struggle. I'm almost two weeks into trying Escitalopram again, this time with an additional anxiety med, and I'm doing a lot better. I hope I can stick it out.

Thank you for the sweet compliment. Hugs!
I need to stop reading up about my diagnosis. I’ve been put on sertraline and now I’ve had someone tell me they was taken off it in ICU because they affect heart rhythm. I cannot focus well today as had about 2 hours sleep last night so feel in a haze. Also like my eyes can’t concentrate as I’m stuck in my head.
In the UK we don’t have a psychiatrist and my GP is useless. I am hoping the sertraline helps but I wish I had a sleep aid. Although I worry that adding more medication to my list of heart meds is risky?

I basically sit on google until early hours and if I read something scary about my heart condition get into a panic and about 2 hours sleep.

on the nights I fall asleep about midnight, I don’t feel like I’m in a proper sleep if that makes sense. Also when I shut my eyes I can see like electric currents - maybe too much screen time or is that also anxiety?

I keep getting indegestion, worry that is my heart but it’s been weeks so doubt it. Every little thing and it’s stopping me enjoy my beautiful babies. I also think I have PTSD and post natal anxiety. My meds can also cause anxiety!

some days I just feel are a blur but my mind never switches off and always have a thought to be ‘working out’ I am mentally exhausted.

I have gotten over this before but feels so much harder this time round, I think maybe I am clinging onto my anxiety to stop me facing my true feelings regarding my new diagnosis? And my dads one year anniversary of his death.
 
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BlueWater

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Joined
Jul 29, 2021
Messages
891
Location
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I need to stop reading up about my diagnosis. I’ve been put on sertraline and now I’ve had someone tell me they was taken off it in ICU because they affect heart rhythm. I cannot focus well today as had about 2 hours sleep last night so feel in a haze. Also like my eyes can’t concentrate as I’m stuck in my head.
In the UK we don’t have a psychiatrist and my GP is useless. I am hoping the sertraline helps but I wish I had a sleep aid. Although I worry that adding more medication to my list of heart meds is risky?

I basically sit on google until early hours and if I read something scary about my heart condition get into a panic and about 2 hours sleep.

on the nights I fall asleep about midnight, I don’t feel like I’m in a proper sleep if that makes sense. Also when I shut my eyes I can see like electric currents - maybe too much screen time or is that also anxiety?

I keep getting indegestion, worry that is my heart but it’s been weeks so doubt it. Every little thing and it’s stopping me enjoy my beautiful babies. I also think I have PTSD and post natal anxiety. My meds can also cause anxiety!

some days I just feel are a blur but my mind never switches off and always have a thought to be ‘working out’ I am mentally exhausted.

I have gotten over this before but feels so much harder this time round, I think maybe I am clinging onto my anxiety to stop me facing my true feelings regarding my new diagnosis? And my dads one year anniversary of his death.
Lots going on for you. In my opinion you need more meds. Trazodone for sleep. You'll wake up for your babies. Maybe Mirtazapine as a back-up sleep aid.
 
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BlueWater

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Joined
Jul 29, 2021
Messages
891
Location
Earth
You're worrying so much that you're making yourself sicker.

Sertraline is popular in the US for new mothers. I've never taken it. I'm trying Escitalopram again right now. My second attempt is going much better now because I have a beta blocker for my anxiety. I'm beginning to feel it giving me some relief from daytime rumination.

Have you asked a doctor to give you Trazodone to take a bedtime? It's not a sedative. I sleep better because of it. Ask for a bottle of 50mg tablets. You can cut them in half. It's very common here for someone who takes an SSRI or SNRI in the morning to take Trazodone at bedtime.

Keep the baby monitor by your bed so you hear your kids cry and set an alarm in the morniget so you get up in time to care for them unless your husband is off work and said he'll help. Could you ask your mother to come over every month to spend the night and look after your babies so you can sleep? You really need more physical assistance from others and definitely need better sleep.
To me, your nocturnal rumination is so bad that you can't sleep without assistance. I am the same way.

Remember this important thing: you didn't choose this mental illness. Millions around the world suffer from it just like you. People who tell you to just stop worrying have no idea how controlling this monster is to our minds. We've had trauma and this is the way our brains respond.

Find a way to reward yourself when you don't spend a day researching heart complications or Autism or any health issue on the Internet. Treat yourself to the things you enjoy the most. For me, it's lying in my lawn chair in the sunshine and listening to nature. This week I bought myself flowers. Keep your favorite little candies or chocolates in the house, the ones that are individually wrapped in pretty colors and make noise when you open them. This morning, I ate a piece of chocolate with breakfast! Say thank you every time someone compliments you or your kids so you remember how much you are valued. Compliment others, too. You're going to have to retrain your mind to reward yourself instead of punishing yourself. Is there something you did as a kid that made you happy that you could do now? An adult coloring book, a few minutes to ride a bicycle, a walk alone, listening to music, buying yourself a piece of jewelry. The best way to get your mind around being able to do all of this is with your anti-depressant in the morning and a reliable sleep aid at bedtime. I believe you can already do some of these things for yourself but when your meds are right you'll be able to be good to yourself much more often. Hope this helps.
 
D

DaisyLaCrazy

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2021
Messages
61
Location
UK
You're worrying so much that you're making yourself sicker.

Sertraline is popular in the US for new mothers. I've never taken it. I'm trying Escitalopram again right now. My second attempt is going much better now because I have a beta blocker for my anxiety. I'm beginning to feel it giving me some relief from daytime rumination.

Have you asked a doctor to give you Trazodone to take a bedtime? It's not a sedative. I sleep better because of it. Ask for a bottle of 50mg tablets. You can cut them in half. It's very common here for someone who takes an SSRI or SNRI in the morning to take Trazodone at bedtime.

Keep the baby monitor by your bed so you hear your kids cry and set an alarm in the morniget so you get up in time to care for them unless your husband is off work and said he'll help. Could you ask your mother to come over every month to spend the night and look after your babies so you can sleep? You really need more physical assistance from others and definitely need better sleep.
To me, your nocturnal rumination is so bad that you can't sleep without assistance. I am the same way.

Remember this important thing: you didn't choose this mental illness. Millions around the world suffer from it just like you. People who tell you to just stop worrying have no idea how controlling this monster is to our minds. We've had trauma and this is the way our brains respond.

Find a way to reward yourself when you don't spend a day researching heart complications or Autism or any health issue on the Internet. Treat yourself to the things you enjoy the most. For me, it's lying in my lawn chair in the sunshine and listening to nature. This week I bought myself flowers. Keep your favorite little candies or chocolates in the house, the ones that are individually wrapped in pretty colors and make noise when you open them. This morning, I ate a piece of chocolate with breakfast! Say thank you every time someone compliments you or your kids so you remember how much you are valued. Compliment others, too. You're going to have to retrain your mind to reward yourself instead of punishing yourself. Is there something you did as a kid that made you happy that you could do now? An adult coloring book, a few minutes to ride a bicycle, a walk alone, listening to music, buying yourself a piece of jewelry. The best way to get your mind around being able to do all of this is with your anti-depressant in the morning and a reliable sleep aid at bedtime. I believe you can already do some of these things for yourself but when your meds are right you'll be able to be good to yourself much more often. Hope this helps.
Does the anti depressent increase your anxiety at first then? That would make sense because I am on beta blockers and my HR never usually goes above 100 at rest (have irregular heartbeat) but it went really high so that must be down to the meds or making my anxiety worse. It’s frustrating as I think it may help in the long run :( I also had no sleep the night before so thinking it could have been due to that. I don’t want to stop taking it if it’s going to help! It’s given me awful night sweats too.

all I want is to be able to sleep then I can deal with my anxiety better (and it’s not as bad when I can sleep!) and the sertraline to help me be able to dismiss my ocd thoughts rather than get stuck on them. Do you think I should stick it out?

I think the lack of sleep caused a lot of the panic too
 
K

Keesha

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
4,687
Location
N/A
You're worrying so much that you're making yourself sicker.

Sertraline is popular in the US for new mothers. I've never taken it. I'm trying Escitalopram again right now. My second attempt is going much better now because I have a beta blocker for my anxiety. I'm beginning to feel it giving me some relief from daytime rumination.

Have you asked a doctor to give you Trazodone to take a bedtime? It's not a sedative. I sleep better because of it. Ask for a bottle of 50mg tablets. You can cut them in half. It's very common here for someone who takes an SSRI or SNRI in the morning to take Trazodone at bedtime.

Keep the baby monitor by your bed so you hear your kids cry and set an alarm in the morniget so you get up in time to care for them unless your husband is off work and said he'll help. Could you ask your mother to come over every month to spend the night and look after your babies so you can sleep? You really need more physical assistance from others and definitely need better sleep.
To me, your nocturnal rumination is so bad that you can't sleep without assistance. I am the same way.

Remember this important thing: you didn't choose this mental illness. Millions around the world suffer from it just like you. People who tell you to just stop worrying have no idea how controlling this monster is to our minds. We've had trauma and this is the way our brains respond.

Find a way to reward yourself when you don't spend a day researching heart complications or Autism or any health issue on the Internet. Treat yourself to the things you enjoy the most. For me, it's lying in my lawn chair in the sunshine and listening to nature. This week I bought myself flowers. Keep your favorite little candies or chocolates in the house, the ones that are individually wrapped in pretty colors and make noise when you open them. This morning, I ate a piece of chocolate with breakfast! Say thank you every time someone compliments you or your kids so you remember how much you are valued. Compliment others, too. You're going to have to retrain your mind to reward yourself instead of punishing yourself. Is there something you did as a kid that made you happy that you could do now? An adult coloring book, a few minutes to ride a bicycle, a walk alone, listening to music, buying yourself a piece of jewelry. The best way to get your mind around being able to do all of this is with your anti-depressant in the morning and a reliable sleep aid at bedtime. I believe you can already do some of these things for yourself but when your meds are right you'll be able to be good to yourself much more often. Hope this helps.
Thank you. This has been most helpful to me since I have ocd. I didn’t even know there are drugs to help with this. You’ve added some great tips. I knew about the sensory tips for panic though. That’s a good one for redirecting focus.
I will take note of what you’ve posted.

Totally agree that this is OCD Daisy, not that I am diagnosing you.
 
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Determined123

Member
Joined
Oct 18, 2021
Messages
13
Location
United Kingdom
There can be overlaps between OCD and autism and it presents very differently in everyone. It can be harder to recognise if you've learned effective masking skills so can always be worth exploring with professionals. As a previous poster put, you can have both OCD and ASC - also you don't have to have every trait to get a diagnosis. Everyone is different.
 
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