OCD-like thoughts about hurting loved ones

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LoveYourself

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#1
Does anyone else get thoughts about hurting your loved ones or disturbing mental pictures of it happening? How do you cope with it?

I dont really struggle with it right now, but i know the issue exists in my mind somewhere and that it can be evoked again if a new "storm" comes along.

I`ve been in a somewhat more stable state of mind for some months now, i was pretty close to dying last summer.

My mind is the biggest bully of all time. I`ve spent virtually every second of the last 4 years trying to improve my mental condition, with great success by all means, yet still i am so ill that i sometimes think i might be among the most neurotic people on earth.

I could not be more fragile. Anything can happen anytime, a new storm could be right around the corner and i dont know how much more i can take.

I dont think i`ll ever hurt anyone no matter what the intrusive demonic thoughts say, but it can be so frightening that it makes me suicidal.
 
Ocdthebuginmybrain

Ocdthebuginmybrain

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#2
Yes...intusive thoughts will do that. It's like your biggest fear poking at your stable side of the brain. I am on Prozac and have been able to say to myself "knock it off" if I see something awful like that. I still get thoughts daily, of other things as well but I am more able to not let them panic me. Do you take any meds? Therapy? Or read books on OCD?

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LoveYourself

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#3
Ocdthebuginmybrain:

Yes, i am on Zoloft/Prozac, but im not always sure whether it helps or not, i know it has helped me many times, other times im more unsure. No therapy right now because it feels like nobody understands my mindset, i have a hard time understanding myself sometimes, not even sure if OCD or not, but at least a lot of the typical OCD-symptoms. So many demons at once you know. Like hundreds of different autonomous mental diseases that live their own life inside my head. I keep fighting for life though, i have no plans of giving up, but it is in many ways an extreme situation to be in. Thanks for reply
 
Ocdthebuginmybrain

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#4
Well, I took Zoloft years ago and it just made me sleep all the time and be a zombie with no emotions. How long have you been taking Prozac and what dose?
 
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LoveYourself

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#5
Ocdthebuginmybrain: Oh, ok. Everyone reacts differently, i`ve heard positive and negative stories from people who take it, its very individual.

I have been taking zoloft for many years but with breaks(150mg/day). Btw, i thought Zoloft and Prozac was the same, i might have mixed up a bit there. At least i know both are SSRI.

What kind of intrusive thoughts do you typically get? You can tell me anything, i have experienced pretty much all kinds myself.
 
Ocdthebuginmybrain

Ocdthebuginmybrain

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#6
I have intrusive thoughts that make me feel like Im a bad person and don't deserve happiness mostly. Like...I'll be enjoying the moment with my family and a terrible vision of me being taken away from them pops in .
 
daffy

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#7
Does anyone else get thoughts about hurting your loved ones or disturbing mental pictures of it happening? How do you cope with it?

I dont really struggle with it right now, but i know the issue exists in my mind somewhere and that it can be evoked again if a new storm comes alonga.
This is quite worrying because I went thru a similar thing having disturbing and visual hallucinations about hurting my grandaughter. They were so shocking and frightening that I told my pdoc and they went frantic. They were going to call in social services and have her put on the at risk register and I was committed to hospital for five weeks. Fortunately they called my daughter immediately and she told them I would have no-contact with her daughter so the system was not informed. My daughter tho did still allow me to see my grandaughter but she didn’t leave me alone with her. It was one of the most frightening times of my life.

All I would say is be very careful what you say but be honest with your close family that it might impact.
 
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LoveYourself

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#8
Ocdthebuginmybrain: I see, that sounds horrible. The human psyche is a strange thing, just gotta do your utmost at all times.
 
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LoveYourself

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#9
daffy: Thanks for reply, that sounds horrible. Do you have other intrusive thoughts also/what kinds?
 

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