OCD help and confusion

B

bmart1006

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Joined
Dec 5, 2018
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2
#1
I have been struggling with ocd for as long as i can remember. Lately I have been extremely stressed out with how i’ve been feeling. A few nights ago I was just sitting and thinking out of the blue.. “What if I was gay?” now I have always been attracted to women, i’ve had girlfriends all my life and my respect for women is extremely high, i treat them better than i treat myself! I’ve never had a sexual thought about a male ever, and still haven’t to this day. Now every time I talk to my Girlfriend I get this guilty/confused feeling by asking myself “ am I supposed to feel a certain way about her?” and “ why do I feel this way of I love women?” The thing that is really getting to me is that this is stressing me out so much that I have become emotionally numb and confused to the point of guilt in the way I think emotionally and sexually. I don’t have fantasies about men so I really don’t think it can be HOCD but if anyone can tell me what is going on that would be life changing!
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
Hiya and :welcome: to the forum. Intrusive thoughts are just horrible and can pop up any time and throw us off kilter. But that is all they are, thoughts. As I understand it we have 75,000 thoughts a day (how they worked that out I don't know!), and this one just popped up amongst all the others. It doesn't mean you are gay, you are just questioning like we all do.
 
M

MomLeslieM

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Joined
Aug 28, 2017
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18
#3
Like you said, you were just sitting there thinking and that thought came to you out of the blue...so personally, NO I don't think it means your gay -- but now because of your OCD, you can't get it out of your head! The more you worry about it and think about it the more it seems real. See if you can somehow replace that thought with something else, though I know it's hard to do....