- Apr 7, 2021
Some time ago I wrote on this forum that I suffer from compulsive disorders exactly on the little-known name hapfemania, i.e. repeated touching of objects, but for some time I had control over it, it seemed to me that maybe I will even get out of it, unfortunately for some time ocd is coming back in new forms my current problem is that I focus on even numbers and always avoid even numbers .. the last real life example is looking for a product in an online store it took me a few days because I had to choose the product that I thought was even .. I know what it is it is absurd and pathetic but it makes life so difficult i wish i could heal all people with this disorder. sometimes I manage not to do it, most often I get up in the morning and make coffee then I come back to my room and I have to turn on the computer twice, sometimes before going to sleep I also have to put the phone and other things on the carpet behind the bed and get up many times to get it right number of times until I think that's enough, recently I got obsessed with the fact that if I get up immediately or because in 2 minutes I have to get up because otherwise something bad will happen .. even though I could lie on the bed much longer. Sometimes I would like to kill myself, although I would not be able to do it now, I am depressed at the moment I am also unemployed I feel that I am not fit for work I am terribly closed in myself I cannot just open up to the world and people but this is not a forum for this, so I will go back to ocd so I feel like I have almost burned nerves from this disorder, constant tension and this analyzing I can not stop, even if I have time, where I do not do it for some time, then it comes back! I am wondering about a stimulator that supposedly helps by attaching it to my head, I do not know if it can be bought for home, I would be curious about your opinions about it, also share your stories and how do you deal with it?