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OCD->Anxiety->Depression

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SanjayRam

New member
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
4
Location
India
Hello! I'm 25, male from India. A bit long read but please go through.

It started in 2008, (I was 14) in grade 9. We had a lesson about breast cancer. A few days later, I interpreted it to myself and believed I have cancer! For a year from 9th to 10th grade, I believed it, told none and I'd remember it every 3-4 months and end up crying about it.
In 2009 May after my 10th is done, in the summer vacation waiting for results everything started. I started to have extreme compulsions and I couldn't notice. I'd go to prayer hall stay there for long long time praying for my results repeatedly. My thoughts were like -
" O God what if I break my legs due to car accident. Grant me that. No no no..what the hell. No means no. What if it really happens...no no...what the hell.."
And I couldn't move from a place with serious interference to my daily activities. That example was a sample as you can understand many other examples the similar way. The compulsion was beyond me. I could NOT write my notes with these thoughts going on in my 11th (2009 June).

My mother had similar problem when I was born. She had medication and she noticed my problem(which I was unable to say) in June 2009. Since then, I was on medication. Psychiatrist said it was because of stress due to study. I was treated well ( Forgot I had to take medication daily, such was the effect. Tablet was a daily routine in the night with an alarm)

In 2012 January, doctor advised there's no need of any medication as I was perfect. 10 months later in Oct 2012, I started to notice a bit of anxiety. Less but quite enough to pit me off a work. So with doctor's advise I started medication once again and continued. I was perfect after medication.

I stopped my medication in 2015 ( Aug or Oct), infact I forgot I had medication.. in 2016 Aug, I joined in a University for master's degree. This Univ unlike my bachelor's was far from my home. In Aug itself, I could not cope up with that atmosphere and my mind started running like an engine of a race car. That anxiety was like hell and I can't explain it, I felt my mind heated up like heavy machinery. Consulted my psychiatrist, got a dose this time a bit more. I was given Nexito Forte along with Intalith CR 450. I was back to normal.

In Dec 2016 as I was good, the doctor tried to reduce the dose . My doc told to try Nexito plus instead of Nexito Forte. Well, it was not sufficient so got it back to Nexito Forte.

2017 Oct it was where my severity went out of hands. I had a problem with a girl of my class/Univ. I couldn't take it simply! This external thing got me, I had the worst depression, unbearable. My Doc has increased the dose
1) Nexito Forte and Intalith CR-450 in the morning.
2) Nexito Forte, Intalith CR-450, Razocon -25 in the night.

Since 2017 Nov I've been using the same dose. I had a few setbacks in my career since 2018 and this has been driving me down even more. I'm unable to heal like I was previously. My career goals have put a lot of pressure on me and I'm not winning it. This makes me lot more depressed. I don't remember the last time I laughed happily. My psychiatrist denied to increase any dose.

I'm getting down depressed and with each blow to my career, it's getting difficult. And I don't even know whether it's about my career.

And yes, I visited only one psychiatrist/doctor this whole time. He's a well renowned doctor. My question is whether.any second opinion can be taken. Not bcoz I have any doubts on my first. I believe him with my life. Still, what if I go for a second opinion???

Thanks for hearing/reading me. This might ease me off a bit.
 
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EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
2,030
Location
USA
I don’t think it’d be wrong to seek a second opinion. I find it kinda strange that you tried to like stop the meds each time you felt better. I know that wasn’t your choice it just seems like a strange strategy.

what is your career? Work can be super stressful. School too!
 
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SanjayRam

New member
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
4
Location
India
Esther, all the other times when I recovered, I didn't even remember what my problem was. So, stopping medication was done without me noticing it as important.

I'm a civil/Infrastructure engineer. I work in a corporate in India. Alongside, I prepare for an Indian govt. examination which is quite tough. So I sail in two boats, may be adding to my stress.
And thanks for the advice on second opinion.
 
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EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
2,030
Location
USA
I just mentioned the meds thing because I’ve done that before too haha.

that’s awesome! But yes that sounds like a lot! Make sure between working and studying you’re practicing self care and letting your brain take a rest.
 
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