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OCD and fear of sexual intimacy

T

tetrapop

Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2021
Messages
7
Location
England
I'm a gay male who suffers from contamination OCD and I would very much like to start having sex but I'm afraid of sperm, urine and poop and I would like to know if anyone has managed to overcome it and how because I keep thinking about contaminating everything like going to pee afterwards if I sperm on my body or if its on my feet what ever I step on will be infected. I just want to be able to enjoy having sex without all these thoughts being in my head.
 
AppleJacks88

AppleJacks88

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Honestly, I understand your concerns :rofl2:
 
B

BlueWater

Well-known member
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Jul 29, 2021
Messages
480
Location
Earth
Straight female. Sex is a release from my OCD thoughts. Maybe it's the endorphins and the chance to just feel good. I feel a fantastic release that although it may last only thirty minutes afterwards is a moment I wouldn't want to live without and gives me a break from the torturous "what if's" of my OCD.

I don't do anal so I can't relate to that. Honestly, it seems so unclean in general since this is a daily exit for excrement and unhealthy for one's muscles in the first place that I could see why someone would experience contamination OCD from it. Perhaps your psyche is warning you of danger and trying to keep you as healthy as possible in this regard? I don't know and not a judgment against you.
 
A

Archipelago

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Joined
Jul 30, 2021
Messages
13
Location
USA
This is a tough one, because your anxiety is warranted, to a degree. It's important to have safe sex and make sure you and any prospective partners are on the same page about hygiene and can communicate that openly before sex.

Do you have any gay friends that you can talk about your concerns with? They may be able to help you get clarity on what is a rational concern, and was it not. That might be a good starting point.

I'm a straight man, but I have similar fears to you around sex and contamination. In my late 20's, I got tired of the awful contamination anxiety I'd get after having sex with someone new. I then started openly communicating with women about my OCD and my concerns. If they could listen, respect what I'd say, and show they also care about sex safe, we'd go ahead with it. If not, I'd say "thank you for your honesty" and turn down sex (done this so many times).

With this approach, you only have sex with people whom you trust and feel comfortable communicating with, which is actually a beautiful thing.
 
J

ji_11

Member
Joined
Mar 29, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Bahamas
For one there are many ways to have sex so definitely don't feel you have to do penetration.

You should be intimate with someone who understands this for sure. I'm most likely going to stay celibate for life but if I wasn't I'd let the person know everything I needed and if they cared about you they'd be happy to accommodate.

The goal should be to slowly get acclimated to it to where you can do more but I would start with other forms of sex, in the shower etc. I think trying to fight it too much may result in you getting disgusted so be honest
 
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