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OCD about self doubt

J

Jellyfish19

Member
Joined
Oct 3, 2021
Messages
11
Location
California
I’m having and intrusive one about understanding english. I am getting through I just need support and recognition it’s been odd. I think with all my thoughts it is the fear of consumption if that makes sense like being consumed by my thoughts. When I do have rough moments with I feel it’s more of disassociation when I watch certain things and notice to think. Kind of like self sabotage. Has anyone eles felt this kind of self sabotage ruminating experience? Tips or tricks would like some feedback
 
B

BlueWater

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 29, 2021
Messages
891
Location
Earth
First, you have good English. :) Second, ask for positive reinforcement from others and give yourself positive reinforcement. Examples:
1-Whenever someone compliments you for anything, write it down and reread your compliments later
2-Practice self-assertiveness so you'll stop sabotaging yourself with your negative view of yourself. Speak up for yourself. If someone insults you or is rude to you, tell them that was unacceptable and they should apologize to you. I've been a doormat for too many years and three weeks ago I began to change that by asserting my needs and expectations.
3-Reward yourself when you do well. Treat yourself to something you enjoy (ice cream, a book, a movie, a trip, etc).

This isn't just about understanding English. It's about how you view yourself as a whole person.

I get the disassociation thing. I'm doing it some lately where I wonder how was I just ruminating an hour ago and now I'm having a casual conversation with someone yet at the same time I'm wondering if they ruminate like I do. OCD is a tricky monster.
 
J

Jellyfish19

Member
Joined
Oct 3, 2021
Messages
11
Location
California
First, you have good English. :) Second, ask for positive reinforcement from others and give yourself positive reinforcement. Examples:
1-Whenever someone compliments you for anything, write it down and reread your compliments later
2-Practice self-assertiveness so you'll stop sabotaging yourself with your negative view of yourself. Speak up for yourself. If someone insults you or is rude to you, tell them that was unacceptable and they should apologize to you. I've been a doormat for too many years and three weeks ago I began to change that by asserting my needs and expectations.
3-Reward yourself when you do well. Treat yourself to something you enjoy (ice cream, a book, a movie, a trip, etc).

This isn't just about understanding English. It's about how you view yourself as a whole person.

I get the disassociation thing. I'm doing it some lately where I wonder how was I just ruminating an hour ago and now I'm having a casual conversation with someone yet at the same time I'm wondering if they ruminate like I do. OCD is a tricky monster.
Can I just thank you you have helped me a lot and appreciate you. Hearing from other OCDers is so helpful and i feel seen. I will definitely be taking your advice gratefully.
 
B

BlueWater

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 29, 2021
Messages
891
Location
Earth
Can I just thank you you have helped me a lot and appreciate you. Hearing from other OCDers is so helpful and i feel seen. I will definitely be taking your advice gratefully.
Something important I forgot is that just as you thanked me for helping you, whenever someone compliments you be sure to say thank you to that person. The more you hear yourself say thank you the more quickly you will recognize your value. I often used to say something like "I wish it was a little better, I think I could've tried a little harder, etc" but that's not what the other person wants to hear. It may take some people great courage to compliment others so when they do you're saying thank you not just for your own positive reinforcement but as positive reinforcement for the other person, too. Hope this helps.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
2,990
Location
Australia
Something important I forgot is that just as you thanked me for helping you, whenever someone compliments you be sure to say thank you to that person. The more you hear yourself say thank you the more quickly you will recognize your value. I often used to say something like "I wish it was a little better, I think I could've tried a little harder, etc" but that's not what the other person wants to hear. It may take some people great courage to compliment others so when they do you're saying thank you not just for your own positive reinforcement but as positive reinforcement for the other person, too. Hope this helps.

This here is very important. To reject or invalidate someone's compliment can feel quite sad or insulting for the person giving the compliment. It can feel like their opinion, feelings and words don't matter.
 
B

BlueWater

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 29, 2021
Messages
891
Location
Earth
This here is very important. To reject or invalidate someone's compliment can feel quite sad or insulting for the person giving the compliment. It can feel like their opinion, feelings and words don't matter.
Exactly. You summarized my thoughts very well.
 
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