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OCD about children, do you think this is real or not please help

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Courtney125

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Feb 3, 2017
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36
Hi all,
Im not sure if this is my OCD or if these are genuine feelings, I had my son 3 months ago, majority of the time I am happy, adore him and totally in love. Randomly I’ll get thoughts like if I had the choice to go back and not have him would I do that? Then I think omg don’t think that of course you wouldn’t you love him but now I’m obsessing would I chose to still have him? Would I rather not have him? And I can’t stop thinking over it. I’m also obsessed with the thought if my partner died would I still want my baby or if he left me would I abandon my child? I’m watching and obsessing over all interactions with my child to prove I love him and feel love toward him. I am now obsessing with the love I have for him and wanting to be more
Intense so these thoughts will stop. I’m crying typing this I just want to love my son, what kind of mother is confused about the love for her child my heart is breaking
 
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Courtney125

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Feb 3, 2017
Messages
36
I’m really feeling distraught now and like I can’t cope !! I don’t want to not love my child I’m terrified and feel so bad for him that he has a mother that is confused if she loves him or not. Whenever I see people without kids I think would I rather that life? And I go into a crazy thought obsession
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Oct 21, 2013
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Hello Courtney125, It's the OCD doing this to you. The brain and the mind are both effected by the OCD.
I would say the intrusive thoughts you have are in the normal range. People have thoughts of all sorts of things, even the stuff that horrifies.
Try to dismiss these intrusive thoughts, acknowledge that you have them but then dismiss them. Your brain is going to do it's own thing, therefore you should do your own thing.
 
calypso

calypso

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I think its within normal range too. I have had two children and worried that I couldn't cope so wondered if I would be better off without them. I felt intense guilt over those feelings at the time. Now they are both grown up I know I wouldn't be without them but worry over this was strong at the time.
 
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SB0817

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Jul 3, 2021
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Location
California
Hi Courtney- what you need to know is that a lot of new mothers with OCD have these types of intrusive thoughts. The best thing you can do is laugh at them as being ridiculous, because you know inside that they are. If you actually felt these things, the thoughts wouldn’t bother you.
 
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SarahMay356

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Jul 7, 2021
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USA
Girlie, I want you to be encouraged. The majority of mothers feel the same you think, especially when the labor was so hard. I felt the same, and I felt that I'm a horrible mother. My daughter is almost one year old. A sweet girl and I love her so much. But it wasn't the same after I gave birth. Gosh, I'm so thankful that my mother was there and helped me overcome my anxiety. Also, I was at the psychologist to put my thoughts in order. Otherwise, it could worsen. It's essential to have time for you and don't be 24 hours near your kid. Leave him with someone. Drink a cup of coffee and walk down the street. Hire a babysitter or look for a local daycare.
 
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BigManSlim99

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Jun 30, 2021
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Location
Washington State
Definitely sounds like OCD. Just remember that it's the disorder and not you. Seek out some support. A psychologist can hopefully get you started on some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It can make a huge difference, and help you overcome these obsessions. Of course I know nothing of your situation, but if you are in any kind of financial problem, there should be social outreach and public mental health options available to you. Hope you feel better, hang in there.
 
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