Occasionally Depressed

[Acer1985]

Hey guy's,

This might be a bit long but I will try to keep it straight to the point if I can. If I have a feeling I might suffer from some sort of depression. Long story short back in 2007 I start flying lessons, as it was something I enjoyed doing at the time and reading about and just the continues learning. I quit it because I was sick of the school that taught me and it is the only one in my town. I had failed a couple of written and flight test, maybe this was my wall to see how bad I wanted it but I never have gone back. To this day I always think about it and what could of been it's my biggest regret in life so far. It's also one of the toughest industry in today's economy and for you usually start of with terrible pay for the first 5 years. You could also end up in middle of no where just to accumulate flight time.

Currently I work in a plumbing wholesale. I get paid 40,000 salary, I work Monday-Friday and I am home just after 4pm. Majority of the people I work with are between the ages of 35-42, with families. I live in a town where there is about 40,000 people in it, I would say there is more older people then young, I have lived here my whole life. I just go back from travelling Asia for 5 months and loved it, I loved to travel and see different things. I live with my folks and I really don't have any friends outside of work. The great thing about my work is it's mostly guys so we go out mountain biking and golfing every once in a while and go to bars which I enjoy. The job is alright, most people at my work are there for work when they go home they forget about work and enjoy there family time or other activities. I come home and usually sit on my computer, once In a while I go out golfing by my self but I am afraid to do stuff alone sometimes.

Some days I just come home from work or on weekends I become so depressed where I am at the point where I don't really even care if I am alive. I have a tough time deciding on what I should do. I am not sure if I should move out of my parents house that way I become more independent, or if i should go back and do my flying as a career and move away to do that. I keep thinking well maybe a girlfriend would help but, online dating I have looked at that but it's not to popular in my area and I don't have any friends to go out with in the first place. I also thought about moving to another town for my job I am not sure if I want to do that.

Sorry bit long, If any one can leave a reply it would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Apotheosis]

Hi Acer.

IMO -

I'd say that it was normal to get depressed sometimes. I personally wouldn't get too hung up on what others are doing; & trying to apply any notions of conformity or normality to your life. Live you life as you see & feel fit to do. Be grateful for what you have; & the opportunities that you have.

Consider the situations of those at a more extreme end of the spectrum - I've been out of work over 10 years now, single 12 years, & dependant on meds (that are horrible). I have to make do & struggle through on a very low income; & there is little to nothing in the way of any genuine support or help from services. Believe me - it isn't a road that you want to go down.

If I am making the right assumptions; & you are considering what actions to take over being depressed - then I would suggest staying away from Doctors, & NOT taking any kind of medication. At best the GP would prescribe an exercise prescription; at worst he would all too easily stick you on tablets. All tablets do in general is to make people worse - usually a lot worse.

Follow your heart. If you want to fly then do so. I wouldn't worry about living at home still - so what? Travel also if that appeals. Don't worry about not having a partner; it's usually far more trouble than it's worth in most cases.

All in all it sounds like you have a good life.

There are many ways of addressing the depression. Exercise is a good way. Also independent psychological help (non-NHS), I think highly of Jungian/humanistic approaches.

It may also be worth looking into the alternative views & approaches on depression; & some of the more spiritual angles to this stuff -

http://www.jungcircle.com/depression.html

I am disturbed that so many people are being seduced into viewing the often valuable and necessary sufferings of soul, which include most experiences of depression, as 'mental illness'. In other words, sufferers of depression are often forced to endure, in addition to their pain and energy loss, the stigma of being told that they're 'ill', hence that their depression is a problem to be eliminated, or that it has no value, meaning, or purpose.

From a soul-centred psychiatric perspective, however, depression is not primarily another word for unhappiness; nor is it 'mental illness.' It is, rather, in many instances a response to soullessness (or what shamans call 'soul loss'), including, ironically enough, the soullessness of the materialist medical model which continues to 'treat' depression as a biologic illness that can be band-aided with damaging drugs.

Wholeness vs 'Happiness'

In contrast to this deeply entrenched 'mental illness' fiction, I believe that what our ailing culture needs, above all, is not a happiness which requires the elimination of suffering. I believe that to achieve genuine individual and cultural healing, we need, instead, more wholeness , that is, more soulful and well-rounded individuals who embody life's dance of opposites and in so doing live fully human, fully divine lives. We need more people who are not ashamed of, or embarrassed by their pain, but who can instead respond to their own and others' suffering - as an unavoidable facet of the human condition - with love, patience, sympathy, nurturing and respect.

True happiness, after all, does not exclude sadness, but rather embraces it within the living paradox which personal wholeness demands. As the quiet contentedness of joy, such happiness is not, I suggest, attained by seeking happiness, nor by eliminating sadness through addressing purely personal wants, needs, fears, anxieties and insecurities. Indeed, a reactionary cult of 'happiness', based on the indiscriminate elimination of all psychospiritual suffering, is in the longrun as lopsided, narrow, false, repressive and self-defeating as the current 'epidemic' of depression. Endorsing happiness above sadness, in other words, simply amounts to replacing one extreme (which is falsely viewed in a totally negative light) with its opposite, which is seen as positive. In reality, though, not all happiness is positive - and not all depression is 'bad'.

Read the rest in the above Link

It may well be that your depression is simply a natural response or mechanism for you to evaluate & look deeper at certain aspects of your life; & could well lead to a deeper & more appreciative experience of Life.

I hope that some of that can be of some help.

 

[ally41]

This has been bothering you long enough that you have wanted to seek help, so good for you you've taken the first step, that is much harder than most people realise.

Respect the parts of you that are unhappy, they have lessons for you so please don't just shut them up with medication, they might cheer you up for a while but eventually you'll be back to square one.

The fact that you still live at home and have few friends or interests is a sign that you might have some issues than you need to explore with therapy. Always remember that we consist of many parts, some from the past, some in the present. Until you learn to listen to all of the parts and what they feel and think, you'll always be in a state of confusion and you wont really understand why. Enough confusion and difficult decision making leads to depression as we become more of a mystery to ourselves. Part of you wanted to fly, but another part failed the exams? Weird huh? Why was that?

Get some therapy and start to get to know yourself, the parts will start to communicate and you will have a much clearer idea of where to want to take your life, good luck x