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Obsessive thoughts bringing me down

D

dylan1994

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2014
Messages
9
Today is a very emotional day for me, I have been crying quite a bit over thoughts of how I am. What I want to ask here is if anyone is going through or has overcome what I believe I am going through. Today was my first day with my consoler. I told him what I had and he believes it can be treated without medication(for some reason I am against medication and the pain i'm going through is really tough). Last night I tried to sleep but managed to get none what so ever. So basically from what I have observed I am plagued by both intrusive and obsessive thoughts. Today even when I was running they still drag me down I feel trapped in my own mind. I make efforts to challenge every single one of them for example, the thought of never coming out of this comes into my mind, I challenge it and say "yes I will I just have to keep going, time will heal it" I don't get the feel good reassurance feeling when I tell myself that. Then I get some crazy thoughts like "do I even want to get better?" when obviously I do look at all these efforts I make but why must I have so much doubt and uncertainty. It's like I am my own worst enemy and don't want to help myself out even though i'm trying things to help myself feel better. I'm exercising, making efforts to eat better and now just started meditating. Perhaps the worst is suicide intrusive thoughts :( I can't quit, I can't kill myself, I must go on I'm not sure where I find the strength but I do. I challenge every single suicidal thought that comes to mind but it brings terrible feeling that starts in my stomach. How could I have ever lived so free and now at the age of 20 been brought down by whatever this may be. Has anyone been through this, please I am begging for help. I love you all and If I come out of this some day I will give back to those who need it. Love Dillon.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
7,824
Location
small town Ontario, Canada
Hi Dylan, I suffer with obsessive thoughts and intrusive memory flashbacks of trauma, I struggle with whether to be on meds of not, currently I can cope without.

If those thoughts are impairing your ability to function day to day, effecting your work and causing extream anxiety symptoms which are hazardous to your physical heath or causing you to seek ways to self medicate with substances you may want to reconsider trying them to help you recover.

I have a chronic form of PTSD which causes depressions social anxiety and general anxiety disorders as well, so I know when I need them and when I don't, usually I only need to be on for a few months then I can go back to functioning without if I get to the point I can no longer cope on my own. For me I get prescribed an SSRI and sleep medication for sleep deprevation and night terrors. When obsessive thinking is out of control I have a PRN (as needed medication) for panic and to slow down cycling thoughts.

Sleep deprevation in itself can cause some serious mental and physical health impairments and exaserbate your depression and anxiety.

Do keep a symptom journal and a mood journal you can share with both your psychiatrist and your therapist, it really helps especially when your thinking is not clear because of symptoms.

Hope this helps

Your counsellor can help teach you coping tools to continue trying to cope without meds, and the appointment can be very triggering themselves and might take a few days to recover from.

Stay diligent with your quest to get help, It does settle down and gets better as you learn to cope. If you feel in crisis and that you really do need the meds, self admit for psychiatrist assessment and write down all your symptoms both physical and mental and how they are impairing your functioning. Include how it effects your ability to concentrate, focus on tasks, remember things as well.

Anxiety can seriously make you ill. Don't be afraid to do whatever is necessary to help yourself recover and regain your health.
 
merrida

merrida

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2014
Messages
34
Location
Ohio
I, too, have obsessive thoughts when anxious. It is awful. I simply cannot control them. The meds I'm on now are helping but I get scared the anxiousness is going to come back if I miss a med.

I hope you find the relief you need, like I have.


Much love.
 
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