- Sep 14, 2020
I'm not sure exactly what is wrong with me but I get quite obsessed with things, whether it be my appearance or my personality/past actions. I'll spend most of the day thinking about these things. I won't be able to enjoy the hobbies I have. The games I play. The shows I watch. I'm miserable. No matter what i do the thoughts always seem to worm their way into my mind. I have to get constant reassurance that x y and z are ok but that never helps for long. I keep going in circles. Worry. Suicidal. Seek reassurance then back to square one. The obsessions change maybe once every few months. For weeks on end i'd constantly look at myself in the mirror. If i didn't look i'd nearly have a breakdown but when i did look i felt equally as bad. I thought i was hideous. Right now is the worst of all. I feel so guilty for something I did. At the time I didn't realize what I was doing was inappropriate... now I feel so disgusting. There isn't a moment I don't think about it. All the stress I've been going through lately has also been making me hallucinate noises. People coming into my house (to hurt me), people whispering to me... all very stressful.